Chapter Four
WHY THE FUCK wasn’t Atticus answering his phone?
Sammie ended the call when his dumbass, cheery voicemail sounded out for the third time in a row, trying a different number.
“What’s up?” Kai asked after the second ring.
“Why isn’t your boyfriend answering his phone?”
Sammie seethed at the chuckle he let out. “So he’s just my boyfriend when you’re mad at him, not your brother?”
“Yes.”
A full laugh this time, something that Kai didn’t give easily.
It calmed her. Just a bit. She pointed toward the floor drain as she moved to stand in the garage door opening, hoping the light summer breeze might cool her overheated skin.
Luz nodded in understanding as Carson hung his head, accepting premature defeat.
Cleaning the drain was easily one of the worst parts of the job, and no one ever wanted to deal with the slimy detritus waiting inside.
“Good to know,” Kai said, pulling Sammie’s attention back to their conversation. “Attie’s taking a nap. It’s game day, he has his routine.”
Sammie groaned. “Wake him up.”
“Nope.”
“Please?”
“I’m setting up for a livestream,” Kai said simply. “If I wake him up now, he’ll want to move on to the next part of his routine, which involves me, and I have stuff to get done.”
Sammie rolled her eyes. “He can skip whatever freaky shit you two get up to on game day this one time. I need to talk to him.”
She thought she could feel Kai’s searing glare through the phone. “Is it an emergency?”
“Well,” Sammie said, dragging the word out. She could hear Luz and Carson bickering in the background over whose turn it was to clean the sludge out of the drains. “No, it’s not an emergency.”
It definitely felt like an emergency. Had felt like one for the last several days, and Sammie had finally reached her breaking point.
“You’re coming to the game, right? Talk to him after.”
The game. Fuck.
Sammie chewed her bottom lip. “I’m skipping this one.” That was a lie, one she’d been telling herself all morning.
A too-long pause fell between them.
“No you aren’t.”
“I have to.”
“Sammie,” Kai said slowly. “You can’t miss this one. It’ll throw him off.”
Got ‘em.
“Then wake the bastard up so I can talk to him,” she said, tone matter-of-fact.
A sigh came across the line, followed by muted footsteps. Sammie could hear murmuring voices for several moments before her brother finally took over the phone.
“What’s wrong?” Atticus still sounded sleepy, and Sammie felt a small measure of guilt at having woken him like this on a game day.
“I think I messed up.” That was a lie. Sammie knew she’d messed up. “I told Kieran I know about his… other occupation.” She’d spent the days since that revelation and her subsequent confession hoping that maybe it would all just blow over.
Kieran still hadn’t responded.
One heartbeat passed. Another. Sammie was about to make sure she hadn’t accidentally ended their call when Atticus burst into peals of laughter.
“Fuck you,” she growled.
“Kai said it wasn’t an emergency,” Atticus finally said, glee still coloring his voice. “But nothing could have prepared me for that.”
“I hate you.” Sammie sighed. “Can I come over?” She rarely took time off of work, but they didn’t have a lot on the schedule for the day, and after Carson got the drains cleaned out they really wouldn’t have much more to do.
Atticus hummed, thinking over her question until Sammie was ready to hang up on him. “Can you give us half an hour? I gotta meet the team at four, so I need to finish up my routine, and I don’t play well if Kai doesn’t give me-”
“Attie,” Sammie interrupted. “If you finish that sentence I will never speak to you again.”
He laughed once more. “Give us thirty minutes, that’s all he needs.”
Sammie did hang up this time, contemplating chucking her phone into the sludge Carson was currently scooping while trying his best not to gag. Her stupid phone, the thing that was currently ruining her life.
It would be fine. She would talk to Atticus, Kai as well, and they would help her find a solution to this fucked up situation she’d gotten herself into.
Kieran hadn’t slept well.
Actually, he hadn’t slept at all. He thought about trying for a nap before meeting up with the team, but in the end he’d tossed the idea aside.
How could he sleep when he knew he would see Sammie at the game?
Out of a very newborn habit, Kieran pulled her messages up again, just as he’d been doing over and over for the last few days.
Sammie: Hey. I need to tell you something
Kieran reread the messages, then clicked his phone off and placed it on the table in front of him. His stomach was tied up into knots that had made eating lunch a miserable affair. His mind couldn’t seem to latch onto any clear cut thoughts.
And he hadn’t yet responded to Sammie.
Days of trying to come up with something to say, anything to say, and he was still sitting there empty handed.
Kieran stood from the table, leaving his phone behind in the hopes he would stop thinking about it as he took a shower. He kept the water on the cool side, bracing against it, pushing his wet curls out of his face.
How had Sammie found his page? She sure did have a way of catching him off guard. Always had. Kieran felt just as blindsided as he had ten years prior, when she’d announced her feelings on that stormy day.
Sammie: That sounds too negative, I didn’t mean it like that. Sex work is awesome!
Heat flooded Kieran’s chest, his neck, burning his face as he rinsed bubbles out of his hair. He would just have to shower again after the game, but something about the process calmed him. The water washed away so much heaviness that built on his skin, invisible but smothering.
Sammie didn’t seem… put off by what she had seen. No, instead she apparently had questions.
Kieran had wondered many times since he’d begun posting explicit content online what it would feel like for someone he knew to find out about it. Would there be shame? Fear? Would it be too much at that point?
Would he have to stop?
Someone knew now. Someone that wasn’t just an anonymous name hidden behind a burner account’s profile picture.
Sammie knew, and Kieran didn’t feel shame. Fear? Maybe a little. Sure, Sammie seemed chill about it, in a particularly Sammie way. But Kieran had never talked to anyone from that side of his life about what he did in his spare time. Not family, not friends, definitely not his teammates.
It was uncharted territory, and with that came no small amount of fear.
Kieran turned up the hot water, letting it burn across his back, every drop a needle stabbing into him. It was grounding, and a bit of the tension gripping his chest finally released.
No shame. A small amount of fear. But more than that, Kieran felt a bloom of comfort spread through him.
He leaned his head back, the water searing his face.
Someone finally knew about his side gig, and rather than fear of societal norms pushing him to stop, a peace that had always been there finally felt settled into place.
Kieran liked what he did, and he didn’t want to stop.
Sammie knowing hadn’t changed that. He was afraid of the unknown, of what she might want to ask him.
But the realization that being perceived in this specific way wasn’t world-shattering, that it was something he was confident enough to deal with, that outshone any fear.
He ran a hand down his face, thinking he would need to trim his beard in the next few days, when a thought gave him pause.
What if it was a prank?
Maybe Atticus had taken his sister’s phone. It did seem like something he might do. Except that Kieran was pretty sure Atticus was more scared of Sammie than anyone, and she would definitely not react well to a prank of this magnitude.
The knob of the shower squeaked loudly as Kieran turned it, echoing through his small bathroom, piercing his thoughts.
He needed to quit stalling. He had a game that required his full attention, not just for his sake, but for that of his team as well.
Kieran couldn’t show up late, distracted by this new life development, and risk the win they desperately needed.
As he gathered his things, it became harder and harder to ignore the other feelings building within him. A pressure in his chest, a demanding sort of weight. The fluttering in his stomach that he hadn’t felt in years, which he attributed to truly being seen in full.
Finally.
“Oh my god,” Kai said, eyes wide as he looked between Sammie and her brother. “You’re actually the same person.”
Sammie groaned as Atticus beamed.
“I’m serious,” Kai continued. Words like giddy or even excited rarely applied to her brother’s boyfriend, but they were the closest things to what Sammie was seeing on his face.
“Attie told me he was in love with me in a drunken text. And now…” He waved his hands toward Sammie from where he sat cross-legged in his gaming chair.
“This. You’re literally the same person. ”
Atticus was cackling, and Sammie tried to push him off the edge of the bed they were both seated on.
“What am I supposed to do?” She flopped back on the bed, covering her face with her hands.
“Unfortunately,” Atticus said, tugging her arm so she was forced to look at him. That teasing glint was still there in his eyes, but it was overshadowed by sympathy. “I think you’ll have to talk to him.”
Sammie squeezed her eyes shut. “What if I walk into traffic instead?”
“Nope.” Atticus poked her in the forehead. “Not an option. Besides, you’re the one who asked him to meet up.”
“But he hasn’t even responded, and I can’t say I blame him. What would you do if your alter ego had been discovered by the girl who’d simped a little too hard when you were kids?”
“I’d be flattered,” from Atticus.
“I’d ignore it,” from Kai.
“Neither of you are useful to me,” from Sammie.
“Have you talked to Ivy yet?” Atticus raised a brow. Sammie shook her head.