Chapter Twenty-Five
THE SIGNED CONTRACT sat next to his laptop. Kieran stared at it, at the sharp curves of his handwritten name.
It was done. Kieran would be playing with the Cats again next season.
His heart beat too hard in his chest, a loud thrum that echoed down his arms, into his fingertips, rattling him from the inside out. He clicked a button, joining the video chat that was waiting for him. His parent’s smiling faces filled the screen.
“You did it!” Meredith’s words were filled with laughter. She clapped her hands together, leaning forward as though it might give her a better view of her son.
“Wasn’t just me.” Kieran chuckled. “The guys all played a great game yesterday.”
“They couldn’t have done it without you.
” His father echoed the same sentiment that Kieran had heard too many times over the past twenty-four hours.
Kieran was still struggling to believe it, that he was in any way instrumental in the success of his team.
But he wanted to be. He wanted to be a player that they relied on, looked to.
“The tournament is going to be wonderful,” Meredith continued. “You guys have a real shot at the trophy!” A slight pause, a single moment, and Kieran saw his mother’s next words written clear across her face. “It’ll be a wonderful way to end your volleyball career.”
There was a question there, hidden in the tone of her voice. Would he do what his parents wanted? Would Kieran give up the thing he loved, the thing that had shaped his whole life and had led him to the people who had claimed his heart, all for the sake of his parents?
Kieran pulled in a steadying breath.
“It won’t be the end.” His fingers tingled, anxiety coursing through his veins. He hated that their conversation was happening with a screen between them. Video calls made him uncomfortable, made it too hard to read the other parties, to know when it was his turn to speak.
Meredith’s lips parted, astonishment coloring her expression. Grant’s brows pulled together, but he didn’t look mad. Where Kieran’s mother was taken aback by his declaration, his father seemed resigned to a decision he’d seen coming.
“What do you mean?”
Kieran clenched his jaw. His mother was playing a game he didn’t appreciate, acting as though what she’d wanted from him had been a done deal. “I’m playing next season. I’m signed on with the Cats for two more years.”
Meredith’s pale skin went red, frustration twisting her face.
“But we need you here. We’ve told you that we need you here.”
Kieran looked to his father for help, but Grant stayed silent as ever.
“You’re making a mistake.” Meredith was still going, a train off the rails, crashing toward Kieran with nothing to hold her back.
“Putting aside the fact that we need you, you have to think about the future. You’re not going to be able to play volleyball forever.
You need to start considering what your life will look like after that.
Money, Kieran! You’ll need something else to sustain you, and the farm is the answer. ”
Her voice was too loud, crackling through his laptop’s speaker. It grated down Kieran’s spine, claws raking along his skin.
“I am thinking about the future.” Meredith didn’t seem to hear him, spilling more words that pelted Kieran over and over.
“You’re making a mistake.” She leaned back crossing her arms over her chest, disappointment wafting off her. Grant mumbled something that Kieran couldn’t hear, a calming hand coming to rest on Meredith’s thigh.
Kieran’s anger was becoming a tangible thing, a creature that was desperate to crawl out of him. “I am thinking about my future. I’m saving money. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“We know your salary, Kieran.” Meredith pinched the bridge of her nose. “You’re not making enough to live off of forever, no matter how much you save. And what about us? You’re not worried about us? About your father?”
“I’m making plenty of money in other ways. And of course, I’m worried about you guys. But I need to make the right decision for me, and that decision is to keep playing for as long as I can.” Kieran’s voice was rising, control slipping from his grasp.
“Oh?” Meredith rolled her eyes. “And how exactly are you planning to make enough to support yourself later?”
The creature ripped out of him. Her dismissive tone pulled it forth, bringing his anger into the light.
“I have an OnlyFans!” Kieran spat the admission. His mother’s eyes flew wide. “I fuck people on the internet! And I’m making a shit ton of money doing it, so I think I’m going to be just fine.”
“Don’t talk to your mother that way.” Grant’s tone was dark, his frown cutting deep lines into his sun-tanned skin.
“But she can sit there and tell me how to run my own life?” A barking laugh tore out of Kieran. “I’m a grown ass man, and I’d appreciate it if the two of you started treating me like one.” Sniffling caught his attention.
Meredith was crying, devastation shining in her eyes.
“How could you do this?” She was gasping, sobs rattling through her. The theatrics of it only served to anger Kieran further. “You should be ashamed of yourself, using your body like that to make money! What if people find out? You’ll ruin your future, Kieran, much more than you already have.”
“Ruin my future? That’s great.” Kieran scrubbed a hand down his face, trying to calm himself and failing. “So you’ll say that to me but not to him?” He stabbed a finger toward his father on the screen.
“This isn’t about me,” Grant growled.
“The fuck it isn’t!” Kieran felt like he’d finally flown off the rails himself. “You’ve got someone who’s ready and willing to help, to take over the farm if necessary, and you won’t even fucking talk to him.”
“What’s going on between my brother and I is none of your business!”
“It is my business if it means you expect me to give up my life because you’re too stubborn to have one goddamn conversation with someone who cares about you.
” Kieran paused, sucking a sharp breath into his lungs, then another.
He couldn’t get hold of his emotions, the anger and disappointment overflowing until he felt as though he were drowning in them.
Grant’s face was red, rage contorting his features even as he was left speechless.
Meredith was still crying next to him, and Kieran couldn’t find it in himself to feel bad for reducing his mother to tears.
“I’m done talking about this with either of you.
If you don’t want to accept the choices I’ve made for my life, that’s your prerogative.
But I’m sick of you acting like I don’t have a say in any of this. ”
“You need to calm down and apologize to your mother,” Grant seethed and Kieran saw red.
“Calm down?” He let out a scoffing laugh. “Yeah, sure. Let me do just that.” One click of the track pad and the video ended. Kieran stared at the screen, heaving breaths rattling his chest.
He would regret it later. Probably. But for now, all Kieran could feel was a burning resentment. He’d known the conversation wouldn’t go well, that his parents wouldn’t like his decision. And he sure as hell hadn’t planned to tell them about his side hustle.
It was all out in the open between them, finally. Everything that Kieran had kept to himself all summer long. He figured that the hardest part was over. The saying it, putting his feelings to words and speaking them out loud. If he could handle that, he could handle whatever came next.
Kieran closed his laptop, leaning back on his small sofa with a sigh. He closed his eyes, trying to find the calm he wanted to return to. On his own terms, not because his father had told him to. Not because Grant couldn’t handle Kieran’s anger.
A knock sounded out. Kieran opened his eyes, frowning at his door. He wasn’t expecting anyone, and honestly didn’t want to deal with putting on a performance of being okay.
Another knock, one that was louder, sharper, and decidedly more persistent.
“Captain, we know you’re in there.”
“Let us in!”
“Guys, stop. He might be napping.”
“Napping? Like an old man?”
“Shut the fuck up, Bow.”
More knocking. Kieran rose from the couch, crossing the room slowly.
“There’s no way he’s napping.”
“Maybe he has a girl over?”
“Oh shit, what if that’s how he celebrates?”
“Maybe we should come back later?”
“No! He’s not celebrating, something was off last night. We need to check on him!”
Kieran swung the door open wide. Bowen, Eric, and Aaron all stood before him.
Eric had a six pack of beer balanced under each of his arms. Aaron carried several grocery bags that were overflowing with various snack foods.
Bowen had an old, pink Nintendo 64. He held it up as though it were a sacred offering.
“GoldenEye heals all,” he said solemnly. Eric and Aaron both nodded. Kieran quirked a brow.
“And I need to be healed?” Despite the mask of fine that he’d clicked firmly into place before letting them into his apartment, Kieran’s heart swelled. He didn’t know how, but his friends had showed up just when he maybe, maybe needed them the most.
The guys pushed past him, spilling the grocery bags onto the counter and sorting through the snacks.
“You weren’t happy enough last night,” Eric said simply, clearing space in Kieran’s fridge for the beers. “Quiet. Morose. Sad. Not exactly what one typically feels after earning a spot in a national championship tournament.”
Kieran frowned. “I’m happy.” All three men stared at him. Aaron’s lips twitched as he held back a smile. “Super happy.”
“Yeah, no.” Bowen threw the words over his shoulder as he crossed the room and began to set up the game system. “Not gonna work on us, you can stop pretending.”
Eric shoved a beer into Kieran’s hand before leading him back to the couch and pushing him down onto it.
“You don’t have to tell us what’s going on,” he said, taking the seat next to Kieran, pulling his legs up onto the couch as he sipped from his own beer.
Were those pajamas that he was wearing? A pastel red that brought out the rosiness in his pale cheeks.
They were covered in volleyballs, because of course they were.
Kieran finally noticed that all three of them wore clothes made for relaxing.
Bowen in gym shorts and a t-shirt, Aaron in joggers and a hoodie that made Kieran sweat just thinking about the summer heat.
“But we all worked hard for that win last night, and we deserve a day to celebrate.” Aaron plopped down onto the floor, crossing his legs as Bowen passed him a controller.
“You’ve seemed off for a while, and like he said”—Aaron pointed toward Eric—“you don’t have to tell us what’s up.
But you do have to let us try to make you feel better.
It’s in the team handbook, I’m pretty sure. ”
“Fuck that.” Bowen sat back, running a hand through his hair, leaving it a spiky mess. “I’m nosy, I want to know what’s going on.” Eric stretched a leg out and kicked him in the back of the head.
A lump formed in Kieran’s throat as the realization of what was happening washed over him.
Somehow, over the last two years, these guys had become his family.
They’d weaseled their way into his heart and taken root there.
Kieran’s nose tingled as he cleared his throat.
He took the controller that Bowen was holding out for him.
“Let’s play,” Kieran said. The words were shakier than he wanted them to be, his mask slipping in front of his friends. “And I’ll tell you all about it.”