Chapter 39
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Beside him, Rissa tilted her head back, and Sin looked up with her.
The sky was a vibrant purple quickly fading to deep blue.
The few scattered clouds burned fiercely in crimson and scarlet, a few veins of orange still lingering.
While they both watched, the sun finally gave in for the night and the last traces of warmth left the sky, leaving behind only a deep, mesmerizing shade of blue.
"It's even more beautiful than I'd imagined," Rissa breathed.
He watched her eyes blink, the reflections of city lights and the night's first stars glinting like pin pricks in the silver. "Magical, huh?"
"And it's like this every night?" She shivered slightly as the temperature began to drop.
"Similar," Sin said, wrapping his arms around her. "Every sunset is different."
She tensed at his embrace. "Sin? You aren't supposed to touch me."
"I'm also not supposed to show you twilight, and you told me on the first day that touching you is often useful. Does it bother you if I keep you warm?"
"No." She stepped back against him. "I don't want to leave yet."
"I have all night," he promised, smiling at the top of her head. "Rissa?"
She tilted her head enough to see him. "Yes, Brother Sin?"
"Why do you wear the veils?"
She looked back at the sky. "Because of the enhancements. We're modified for efficiency, not appearance. OutLink has warned us that our clients will find our appearance disturbing." Her answer sounded rehearsed.
"Yeah, but why do you wear the veils around me? Even when we're alone?"
Her answer came back a little too fast. "Why do you wear gloves around me, even when we're alone?"
He sighed and rested his chin on the top of her head. "Because I'm ashamed of my cybernetics. They remind me how close I came to failing." He chuckled softly. "I've never told anyone that, Riss. They all think it's because of the first precept—and that's part of it—but mostly it's the memory."
"Did it hurt?"
"A lot, but the worst part was looking down and seeing my arm was just gone.
The entire outside was missing, my bones just hanging out there, blood everywhere.
I've seen a lot of blood, but none looked as red as my own.
" He sighed. "For a moment, I stopped thinking about my angel.
When I realized my back was broken..." He paused. "Sorry."
"Were you scared?" she asked softly.
"Terrified," he admitted. "God, Riss, I thought I was done, you know? Three bombs went off, and we didn't know how many more were out there. I couldn't walk. George was down, knocked out by the blast, and I couldn't move him. I thought I was going to lose my first angel."
"You've never lost a client?" she asked, shocked.
He wrapped his arms a bit tighter around her. "Never. I've been shot a few times, and everyone knows about the bombs, but I've never lost an angel." He turned her a bit. "See the moon rising?"
She made an appreciative noise and tilted her head back against his shoulder. "I wish I could do this every night."
"Me too." He reached up for the loose strand of hair, guiding it back under the veil. "You never answered my question, Princess."
She didn't need to be asked again. "I don't want you to see what I look like. That's why I wear the veil around you."
"Why?" he asked gently.
"I never realized the stars really do twinkle.
" Her silver eyes were wide, looking at the entire night sky.
"It's so pretty. Everything up here is beautiful, even the streets, you know?
" She turned to face him, her eyes watching him closely.
"You get to see this every day. You look at so many beautiful girls down there.
You walk through a garden and think nothing of it.
" She slid a hand to the side of her face, checking to make sure she was still covered.
"They dress us in elaborate fabrics covered in embroidery and beading. It's attractive."
"Rissa..."
She shook her head. "Sin, I'm covered in data ports.
My hair won't even grow on the sides of my head anymore because of all the enhancements.
I don't have curves. They supply us with sufficient nutrition to keep our minds operating at top efficiency, and that's it.
" She swallowed and turned back to the sky.
"You're handsome, and I'm disgusting. That's why I wear the robes. "
"You're not disgusting." He turned her face back to his.
"You have beautiful eyes, Riss. Like molten silver or a turbulent ocean.
Your voice is lovely, and you're one of the nicest people I've ever met.
I don't care if the lower half of your face is covered in black faux-skin; you're not disgusting. "
She tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let her. Instead, she lifted her chin. "I just don't want to see you look at me like I'm ugly."
"Never," he swore. "You're not just my angel, Riss." He pointed at the sky. "I don't bring clients up to look at a sunset."
She giggled. "Maybe I should post this on your fan site?"
"Don't you dare!" He laughed. "And what were you doing reading that filth anyway?"
"Learning about kissing," she said with a shrug. "I wanted to research the handler I'd been assigned. I didn't even know some of those things were possible." She paused, then giggled again. "I guess you didn't either, huh?"
He dragged his hand across his face. "No, I know about them. It's just trash, though, Riss. It's a bunch of lonely women—and a few men—daydreaming about forbidden fruit."
"Yeah." She pulled away from him and reached up to straighten her hood. "Sin, everything is forbidden fruit to me. Sunsets, twilight, kissing a man..." She sighed. "Is it wrong?"
"Is what wrong?"
A pace away, she turned back to him. "That I wonder what it would be like to kiss you?"
She stood there proudly, waiting for him to answer, but Sin didn't know what to say. She told him she believed she was ugly and then said that? "No," he said, finally. "It's flattering and a little embarrassing, but it's not wrong."
Something about her body softened with his answer, like he'd given the right one.
Then, in a perfectly choreographed display, she glided toward a bench overlooking the city and lowered herself onto it.
Her eyes were locked on the neon glow of advertisements and the dim specks of streetlights below.
He moved next to her, and just as he reached her side, she looked up at him.
"Have you ever kissed a girl?" she asked.
"Yeah." He sat beside her, their shoulders just touching. "A few. I wasn't always a priest, Riss."
"Did you like it?"
He thought about that. She was begging to know what she'd missed in life, so he wanted to answer her as truthfully as possible.
"Yes. I didn't always necessarily like the girl I kissed, but the act is pretty good.
Women are soft and gentle, with a strength inside that's hard to understand.
There's something primal about it, you know, putting your mouth on someone. It feels good."
"Is it hard to be a priest?"
He sighed and put his arm around her again, pulling her against his shoulder.
"Yes, but not like you think. I'm guessing what you really want to know is if it's hard to keep a vow of celibacy?
" She ducked her head, so he took that as a yes.
"Not as hard as I thought, actually. When I became a priest, I started looking at things differently.
I don't need physical comforts as much as emotional ones, and that's why I'd been screwing those girls when I was younger.
I thought that if they'd sleep with me, it meant I was worth something. "
"Really?" She looked up at him with wide eyes.
He nodded. "Figured I was a pretty impressive man if I could have any girl I wanted.
Thing is, I wasn't. Neither a man, nor impressive.
I was a dick to most of them. Said exactly what they wanted to hear, then as soon as I got off, kicked them out and never looked back.
I wasn't always like that, just usually.
There was one girl I was really fond of.
" He sighed at the memory. "Cassandra. Making love to her was different. "
"Making love?" Rissa asked. "Is there a difference between that and just sex?"
Sin chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, hun. Pretty big one. Sex is just about the orgasm. Making love is about the emotions." He squeezed her shoulder. "It's like this. You wouldn't let just anyone put his arm around you, would you? But because we're friends, it's ok to touch like this."
"I like it," she whispered. "But you can feel my ports."
He bent toward her ear and whispered, "Yeah, and I don't really care. I'm watching the city at night with my friend. You can feel my fake fingers, I can feel your data ports, and it's all ok, right?"
"I don't mind your synthetic skin."
"And I don't mind your data ports," he said.
"I don't care if you're bald and ugly, or look like a virtual model under that robe, Rissa.
We're friends, and I've never picked a friend for what he or she looked like.
" His hand closed gently on her shoulder.
"And we can't ever be any more than friends. "
"OutLink wouldn't allow it." She took a long breath. "We're suited for each other, though. I can't even enjoy a meal, and you've promised to do nothing except God's work. I'm just glad I finally have a real friend."
"Yeah, me too." He chuckled suddenly. "Riss, when I get you out of there, you're still my angel. I'm not going to let some guy break your heart. I'm not going to let you make the same bad choices I did."
She relaxed and rested her head on his shoulder. "Maybe I'll become a priest. If OutLink isn't stopping me, I could go to church and learn all about God and the Good Book. I could be devoted and..."
"No." Sin shook his head. "You'd make a great priest, Riss, but you need to live a bit before you think like that. Once you take the vows, you can't go back. There's no way to say, 'Oops, I was wrong, I take it back.' God doesn't work like that."
She went on like he hadn't interrupted. "I could be your partner, Sin. You could be the strong one, and I'd solve all the problems. We could handle this thing with the first precept and cure all of the enhanced."
He kicked his feet out from under him and chuckled at her daydreams. "Wouldn't that be nice? I mean, just think: if we could cure all of the enhanced, people's lives would be a whole lot better. Figure out ways to get them better-paying jobs, and shit like that."
"I know how to make the cure without a lab."
He froze. The words hung in the air between them glistening with hope. "What?"
She shifted to face him. "The Ingénue may have been treated with Pharmacon's alternate treatment. Supposedly it's a single-dose cure. The side effects are euphoria and intoxication, but it resets the immune system to acknowledge silicone-based molecules as 'self' so the rejection ends."
"Wait." He gestured at her face. "You've been cured?"
"I don't know. Maybe?" She reached up and grabbed his arm. "Sin, I've seen it in the data. That's all I need. I've seen it once, so I remember it, and I can make it better. I can make it with things that aren't even hard to find."
"Fuck." He closed his eyes and glanced away, his jaw clenched. "So how do we get this cure out there?"
Rissa giggled and reached up to make him look at her.
"Me! I saw it, Sin. That's what I'm trying to tell you.
I know how to make the cure. I've been researching every night, trying to find the proper chemical reactions.
" She laughed again. "And I can make it better.
I can cure the enhanced. I just need to learn how to ferment alcohol. "
"Alcohol?" He shook his head to make sure he'd heard that right.
Slowly, she nodded. "If the new Praetor's miracle isn't that impressive anymore, his power structure falls apart, weakening the arguments against the enhanced.
We may not be able to stop the division in the Legion, Sin, but we can make it pointless.
That's what I've been thinking about while you were mourning.
I know how to counter the split in your church. "
"You, my princess, are the most amazing woman in the world," he swore. "Fucking amazing. No wonder God wanted me to take care of you!"