Chapter Three
The hypnotic flow of the world outside the window and the smooth rolling of the tires made it difficult for Vinnie to remain alert.
She’d dozed several times, always awakening with a start.
Cyrus’s vehicle was much like his room—clean, tidy, and well maintained.
There wasn’t a piece of garbage or a stray receipt anywhere.
The dashboard gleamed and the floors looked freshly vacuumed.
She was lucky if her Chevy looked this good once or twice a year.
Between work and her son, her time was eaten up, forcing her to prioritize.
She’d bet a month’s pay that the engine was in as good, if not better, shape than the interior.
“You doing okay?” It was the first time he’d spoken since they’d gotten on the road hours ago, both lost in their own thoughts. Or maybe he was simply leaving her to hers.
“No.” Sighing, she rubbed her forehead. A couple of Advil and a long spell of uninterrupted sleep might help, but she was lacking the first and the second wasn’t going to happen until she’d found Adam.
“You should drink something. Josiah packed enough for both of us.”
Figuring the sugar might help her headache, she unzipped the cooler and drew out an orange juice for herself. “You want something?”
“Water. Please,” he added in what felt like an afterthought. “Tell me about Adam.”
She handed him a bottle and took a swallow of her own drink. “What do you want to know?”
Thinking about her son hurt her heart. That he hadn’t felt able to come to her with whatever was bothering him, had needed to be alone and away from her, was a blow.
“What does he like to do in his spare time? Who are his friends? How does he spend his days?”
She licked her lips and took a breath to settle herself. She’d get through this. “He’s quiet, a bit of a loner. He enjoys reading and isn’t a big fan of video games. He played football until this past year before quitting the team.”
Cyrus cut her a quick glance. “Why?”
Shrugging, she had more of the juice before answering.
“When I asked, he said he wasn’t interested, wanted to concentrate on his studies, which didn’t make sense because he’s a smart kid.
Barely has to study and gets top marks. I thought he might have had a falling out with his friends, but he denied it when I asked.
Not like I could force him to play. I figured it might have something to do with my mom’s death.
He and his grandma were close. I should have asked more questions, done more?
” she tilted her head back and stared at the roof of the vehicle.
“You did all you could.”
“You don’t know that,” she snapped. It had been pointed out to her by several people that maybe she didn’t know her son as well as she thought she did.
That, with her work schedule, he spent too much time alone.
Maybe since her mom’s death that was true, but she loved Adam with every fiber of her being.
“I was a teenage boy and raised six more. Trust me when I tell you, guys that age are moody.”
That was a revelation. “You raised your brothers?”
“Mama died when my youngest brother was born. Daddy passed on my eighteenth birthday.”
“God, Cyrus, I’m so sorry.” She couldn’t image how painful that must have been. She’d raised one child and had her mother by her side through most of it. He’d been responsible for six kids.
“Josiah was sixteen and Eli fourteen. We managed.”
It couldn’t have been easy. “How old are you?” It was a strange question to be asking, but they were virtually strangers.
“Thirty-eight. I was twenty-two that night we met.”
“You seemed so much older. I’m thirty-six, almost thirty-seven.” No longer the young woman who’d gone to the motel with him that night. “Whatever problem Adam is dealing with, he should have come to me.” That he hadn’t made her feel like a failure as a parent.
“Some things a guy can’t tell his mama.” Cyrus pulled out to pass an eighteen-wheeler. He was watchful of the traffic. In many ways he reminded her of her fellow officers or the active and former military personnel she’d worked with over the years—alert to everything happening around him.
She hit the back of her head against the seat several times, mentally cursing when it aggravated the growing headache.
Cyrus cleared his throat. “He ever ask about his daddy?”
“Yes. I was able to put him off when he was younger. Once he was a teenager, I sat him down and told him the truth. That I’d spent a night with a man I’d met.
That I didn’t know your name or where to find you.
” Memories bombarded her. “He was so angry,” she whispered.
“So disappointed.” And he’d had every right to be.
“If I could turn back the clock, I’d have stayed at the motel that night long enough to exchange information just in case. ”
“Why didn’t you?” His voice was rougher than normal. She’d hurt all three of them. Something she’d never meant to do.
“I was twenty and scared. I was a rookie with the department and had come off working a horrific accident scene.”
“That’s why you were at the bar?”
“Yes. So much blood and death.” To this day it haunted her. It was no longer the worst situation she’d dealt with at work, but it had been the first, and it had changed her forever. “I wanted to forget.”
“I hear you. I’d done a fugitive recovery and was on my way back to Kentucky. I hadn’t planned to stop, but I wasn’t ready to go home. I needed one night for myself.”
“So we were both doing something out of character that night.” Weird to think how it had changed both their lives. That knowledge had simply been put off a few years for Cyrus.
“Does Adam have close friends? Someone he might have confided in?”
She accepted the change of subject. Thinking about the past served no purpose.
What was done was done. “A year ago, I would have said Luke Miller and Jason Sayre. They were close once, but neither of them had talked to Adam in weeks. Not since school let out for the summer. They played football for years, spent a lot of time together up until my mom died. After that, Adam pulled away from sports and his friends. I knew a counselor through work, and I talked to her about Adam, about what I could do to help. She wanted to see him, but he refused. I didn’t see the point of forcing him and possibly alienating him further.
Maybe I should have pushed it.” Being a single parent meant questioning yourself almost daily.
“You did what you thought was best. That’s all anyone can do.”
Rather than easing her guilt, his understanding added to it. “You’re taking the idea of having a teenage son rather well. Does Adam have any other siblings out there?”
Cyrus yanked the wheel to the right and pulled off onto the shoulder of the road.
Traffic sped by them. “Would you rather I ranted about losing all these years with my son?” The low, cold tone sent a shiver down her spine.
Cyrus Sin wasn’t merely angry. He was furious.
He shoved the vehicle in “park” and swiveled in his seat to face her.
“And, no, he has no siblings. What happened with you was an anomaly.”
Had she been harboring some jealousy? Wondering about him with other women? “How was I supposed to know?”
“If you’d have stuck around that night you wouldn’t be asking that question.”
Talk about landing a blow right where it hurt the most. Score one for him. Now she knew he’d fight dirty. Well, so could she. “You knew where I lived if you’d cared to look.” It hurt that he’d never come back. They glared at each other, both filled with resentment.
His gaze narrowing, he wrapped one hand around the back of her neck, pulled her forward, and kissed her.
Heat exploded, rocketing to every cell of her body.
It was better than she remembered. They’d both been young the first time around.
She’d come to believe her memories were embellished by the passing years. If anything, they’d been muted.
His beard and mustache were a soft caress against her skin. His lips explored hers, his tongue sliding into her mouth. She made a hungry sound and kissed him, holding nothing back. This was what had been missing with every other man she’d dated since that fateful night. Not that there’d been many.
A horn blared. The SUV shook in the wake of a passing transport truck. They parted, both breathing heavily. When she licked her lips, his nostrils flared.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come looking for you.” He rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip.
Her breath hitched. “I’m sorry I ran away.” It was time to confess everything. “I came back early the next morning, but you were already gone.”
He made a sound of pain and swallowed heavily. “I left shortly after you did. I knew if I stayed, I’d hunt you down. I had too many responsibilities. There was no room in my life for a woman.”
Direct and honest. It hurt, but she understood.
“None of it matters now. Finding Adam is all that’s important.
” She thought for a second he’d disagree with her and held her breath.
Instead, he nodded, huffed out a breath, and sat back in his seat.
The raw emotion of seconds before vanished beneath a layer of icy calm.
He carefully pulled the SUV back onto the road.
****
Cyrus silently cursed himself for the next ten miles. There was no excuse for losing control. Didn’t matter that he was reeling from discovering he had a son. But when she’d asked if he might have other kids walking around, he’d lost it.
They’d both flung accusations, but the bottom line was they’d made mistakes.
He’d allowed pride and responsibilities to keep him away rather than face the weakness inside himself.
He’d wanted her too badly and knew it. She was human and he wasn’t.
There could be no happy ending for them.
Or so he’d thought. He was no longer so certain, but that was secondary. It had to be.
I have a son.