Chapter 53 Jake
JAKE
Four days. Four fucking days since Tish dropped the pregnancy bomb, and I’ve been acting like a complete coward.
The word “pregnant” hit me like a slapshot to the gut, and instead of manning up I bolted. Not physically, I’m not that much of an asshole, but emotionally?
Yeah, I checked out faster than a puck flying into the net.
I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror of some dive bar downtown, water dripping from my hands as I grip the porcelain sink.
My green eyes look bloodshot, and there are dark circles underneath that make me look like I’ve been checked into the boards repeatedly. Which, honestly, is how I feel.
“Get your shit together, Sorenson,” I mutter to myself.
The past few nights have been a blur of clubs, loud music, and desperate attempts to feel normal again.
To feel like the old Jake, the playboy who could charm any woman into his bed without a second thought.
But every time some blonde or brunette pressed against me on the dance floor, all I could see was Tish’s face.
Those exotic, almond-shaped dark blue eyes that seem to see straight through my bullshit. The way her long black hair with those maroon highlights catches the light. The curve of her hips, the softness of her skin.
I tried. God, I tried to be the man I used to be. Last night, this gorgeous redhead practically threw herself at me, whispering all the dirty things she wanted to do.
My body should have responded. Hell, three months ago it would have. But nothing. Not even a flicker of interest. Because she wasn’t Tish.
The realization hits me like a freight train, just like it has every night this week. I’m in love with her.
Not just attracted to her, not just enjoying the incredible sex we’ve been having with Carl and Ash.
I’m head over heels, completely gone for Trisha Johnston.
And she’s carrying my baby. Or Carl’s. Or Ash’s.
The thought should terrify me. A few days ago, it did. I’ve spent years avoiding commitment, avoiding anything that looked remotely like settling down.
After what Lillian did to me—fucking my groomsman in the church pews on our wedding day—I swore I’d never let another woman get that close. Never let anyone have that kind of power over me again.
But Tish already does. She’s had it for weeks now, and I’ve been too stubborn and scared to admit it.
I splash more cold water on my face and really look at myself. I am excited, if I dig down and stop letting fear get to me.
The more I think about it, the more I can picture it. Tish with a rounded belly, glowing with pregnancy.
Teaching a little boy or girl how to skate. Watching them take their first steps, say their first words.
Being there for all of it, not just as some guy who helped create the baby, but as a real father.
I can share her with Carl and Ash. That realization surprises me, but it’s true.
There’s something incredibly hot about watching them pleasure her, about all of us working together to drive her wild.
The way she responds to each of us differently, the way she needs all three of us in different ways—it works. We work.
My phone buzzes with a text from one of my teammates asking if I want to hit the bars again tonight. I delete it without responding. I’m done running.
Twenty minutes later, I’m standing on Tish’s front porch, my heart hammering against my ribs like I’m facing down the biggest opponent of my career.
The house is quiet except for the soft glow of light coming from the living room window. I can see her silhouette moving around inside, probably cleaning up after putting Becky to bed.
I raise my hand to knock, then hesitate. What if she doesn’t want to see me?
What if I’ve fucked this up beyond repair by disappearing when she needed me most?
Only one way to find out.
I knock, three firm raps that echo in the cold February air. Footsteps approach, and then the door swings open.
Tish stands there in yoga pants and an oversized sweater that somehow makes her look even more beautiful than when she’s all dressed up.
Her long hair is pulled back in a messy bun with strands framing her face, and those incredible dark blue eyes widen when she sees me.
“Jake,” she breathes, and I can hear the surprise and hesitancy in her voice.
I don’t give her a chance to say anything else. I step forward, wrap my arms around her waist, and lift her off her feet, spinning her around as I bury my face in her neck.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper against her skin. “I’m so fucking sorry, Tish. I was scared and I acted like a complete ass.”
She’s stiff in my arms at first, but then I feel her melt against me, her hands coming up to tangle in my hair.
When I set her down, I cup her face in my hands and kiss her like my life depends on it. Her lips are soft and warm, and when she kisses me back, relief floods through me so intensely I nearly stagger.
“I missed you,” she whispers when we break apart, her forehead resting against mine.
“I missed you too. More than I thought possible.” I stroke my thumbs across her cheekbones. “Can we talk?”
She nods and leads me inside, closing the door behind us.
The house is warm and cozy, filled with the scent of whatever she made for dinner and the faint sound of a Disney movie playing in the background.
Probably Becky falling asleep to it.
We settle on the couch, and I pull her against my side, needing to feel her warmth, her realness.
She curls into me like she belongs there, which she does.
“I freaked out,” I admit, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “When you said you were pregnant, all I could think about was how I’m not ready to be a father. How I’m the team playboy and I don’t know the first thing about being in a real relationship, let alone raising a kid.”
She’s quiet, letting me get it all out.
“But these past few days without you… Tish, I couldn’t even look at another woman. I tried to go back to who I used to be, but I can’t. Because I don’t want to be that guy anymore. I want to be the man who deserves you. Who deserves to be a father to your baby—our baby.”
She tilts her head up to look at me, and I see tears shimmering in her eyes. “Really?”
“Really. I’m excited about this, Tish. Scared as hell, but excited. And I can share you with Carl and Ash. What we have together, all four of us—it’s special. It’s right.”
She smiles then, the first real smile I’ve seen from her since I walked in, and it’s like the sun coming out after a storm.
“I was so worried you’d changed your mind about us,” she admits, snuggling closer.
“Never. You’re stuck with me now, beautiful.”
We sit in comfortable silence for a while, just holding each other. Then Tish’s expression grows serious.
“Jake, I’ve got some great news! Mica’s back in prison!”
It’s like someone put a pin in me and the last bit of tension and concern flows out of me. Everything is starting to come together.
“Have you heard from Ash?” I ask after a while, though I’m pretty sure I know the answer from the way her face falls.
She shakes her head sadly. “Not since that night. I think…I think this might be too much for him. The pregnancy, the sharing arrangement. His religious upbringing.”
My jaw clenches. Ash is my teammate, my friend, but if he hurts Tish by walking away now, we’re going to have words.
“Give him time,” I say, though I’m not sure I believe it myself. “He’ll come around.”
But as I hold Tish close, feeling the slight changes in her body that hint at the life growing inside her, I can’t shake the feeling that our perfect foursome might be about to become a threesome.