Chapter 5
Chapter Five
I don’t even know how to think about all of this. I mean, what am I supposed to do? I know there’s nothing new in my situation. I know girls my age have been dealing with this forever. I get that. But that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with for me. I’m pregnant!
You know the really crazy thing? When I was younger, like in ninth and tenth grade, I used to fantasize about having Brock’s baby. I used to imagine that sort of thing and just be completely gaga over these romantic fantasies of one boy, one girl, one big golden retriever, and a little house with a white picket fence.
I miss him.
I miss Brock so badly.
There are times when I think my mind is just driving me crazy. What I mean is that there are times I think that I never really had these kinds of feelings for Brock before the pregnancy and I’ve created some kind of an overly romantic and melodramatic version of things.
Of course, with the hormones raging through my body, why not?
The nurse steps into the room and asks with a smile, “How are we doing?” Tracy winces in my direction.
I keep from giggling. It’s a minor miracle. “They’re still pretty far apart, I think,” I say. The nurse checks all my vitals and then she’s gone.
Tracy says, “How hungry are we? How are we set for reading materials? What do we want to watch on television.”
I can’t help but giggle at that. “It doesn’t work when you could actually be asking about the two of us, dummy,” I say.
“You calling me a dummy?” she asks with a sarcastic smile. “Well, I guess I won’t shut up about how incredible the father of my baby is while steadfastly refusing to call him. Yeah, I guess that makes me a dummy.”
“All right. All right.”
“Oh, wait a minute! I’m not the one refusing to call the guy I obviously love and obviously need. That’s you!”
I groan and say, “Give it a rest, okay?”
“No,” she says, “but I’ll take a breath or two before I start up again.”
She winks and I chuckle at that. “Thanks for being here, Tracy,” I say.
“You think I’m going to let you have your baby all by yourself? Hell, no.”
“But there’s more. I don’t think I could have gotten through the semester without you. I don’t think… I mean, I’m not really going to be behind in my classes at all, and that’s because of you and how you helped me. And I have… I mean, the film. Because of you, it’s getting greenlit, and…”
“What are you talking about? You made that happen.”
“But Tracy,” I protest, “I only made it happen because you made it possible for me to make it happen. I really love you for this, for all of this.”
“Okay, listen up, Hannah,” she says, “I’m happy to help. I’m even giving you a little break in the harassment about Mr. Brock Perfect Man, whom you really need to call, beg to forgive you, and tell about his baby. But I’m happy to help and I’m taking a break. But if you think I’m going to fall in love with you and be your lesbian lover, you’re going to need to think again.”
I laugh out loud at that one. “A girl can try, right? Seriously, though. I do love you. You’ve been my rock through all of this.”
“Do you promise to remember that forever, no matter what?” she asks. “Even when you’re pissed at me?”
I laugh again. “Of course I do.”
“Good. Remember it right now, okay? I’ll be down in the cafeteria. I’ll be back in a few minutes to check on you, okay?”
“Um, okay. I wouldn’t suddenly be pissed at you because you need coffee.”
“No,” she says, “but you might be pissed because I called Brock and told him where you were.”
I think she’s joking but while I’m rolling my eyes, she walks past me. I turn around, and he stands right there in the doorway to the hospital room.
I stare in terror.
I mean, in abject terror.
“I… I’m…” I can’t finish.
“Hush,” he says. “There will be plenty of time for you to apologize. Hell, I’m going to spank you until you can’t sit down for a year but all of that happens later, a few months from now. Right now, we’re going to take care of you and that’s that.”
“And once he’s done spanking you, it’s my turn,” my father says, stepping into the room.
“Daddy!” I wail.
They both think I’m going to collapse because they rush to me and hold me up. My father says, “Don’t worry, baby. I blame my asshole best friend, not you. He doesn’t get to borrow my power drill for three whole weeks.”
I look at him and I realize the two of them probably had a much, much deeper conversation than his comments suggest. And then, I hear another voice. “Oh, leave the poor girl alone. In fact, you men go make yourself useful and get coffee for me and Tracy.”
“Mom?” I ask.
She smiles and says, “It’s okay, Sweetheart. This is your get out of jail free card. I always give on to all of my kids. They get to use it when they’re really, really, really, really stupid.” It’s amazing the amount of meaning she can fit into really .
The men leave. Mom and Tracy stay. The men come back. The nurses and the doctors come in and out and the world is suddenly a whole lot less complicated and scary as it was.