Chapter 21
NATALYA
Watching Anton drag Katerina away fills me with fear and something else. Gratitude, maybe? It settles warm and hungry just below my navel.
I hear him outside. The bass in his voice resonates off the walls like a drum. He hasn’t hurt her, barely put his hands on her, but the moment he walked in, she looked like she’d seen a ghost.
“What’s going on?”
I glance behind me to see Mikki coming down the stairs. He’s wearing the same clothes he had on last night—a torn dark muscle shirt and black pants—but his hair is slicked back and shiny wet. The faint smell of soap wafts off him as he approaches.
I don’t know how to answer his question, so I just say, “Some woman named Katerina. Claims to be his fiancée.”
His brow furrows deeply as he looks past me to the open door and the rushed voices just outside. He glances at me and says, “We should probably both make ourselves scarce.”
“You go ahead,” I tell him. “I know you’ve got to get to Iggy’s and everything.”
He nods slowly, then I see his eyes stop on the bruise on my forehead. Oh, dear. If he sees this, then Anton certainly saw it.
“I’ll be fine once she’s gone,” I tell him.
“All right. I’ll see you soon, then. I’m going to head out through the kitchen.” And with that, he leaves. I’m left to stand here and wait for Anton to return, and not gonna lie, I’m worried, but I have to talk to him. I have to know what the hell all that was about.
This woman just came in here and claimed Anton. Implied, even, that this house as hers. I rub my neck as I think about the cold knife against it and I feel the sting of the scar it left. She was actually about to kill me over him.
At least it’s pretty clear that Anton doesn’t want her here any more than anyone else. Thank God he showed up when he did. I dread to think what might’ve happened if she’d continued her rampage on me.
He finally walks back into the living room, straight to me. He reaches out to me and I flinch, stepping away from him.
“Are you all right?” he asks. I nod quickly.
“I’m fine.” It’s clear that he doesn’t want her. Isn’t it? Why did she call him her fiancé? Is there any truth to that? Is he about to tell me that she’s just some insane woman that he doesn’t even know?
He looks at me, lowering his hands. “Are you sure? That cut on your neck—”
“I’m fine,” I repeat. “She… she said she was your fiancée. Is that true?”
I’m waiting to hear him say no, to give me all the excuses that they always give once they drive some poor woman mad.
“Not anymore,” he says. “We were together a year ago. Now we’re not.”
“She doesn’t seem to think that’s true. She seemed pretty insistent that you two are still together.”
“She’s wrong,” he says simply. “And a bit delusional.”
I want to cry. I want to go into a corner and crumble to pieces. I can’t stand this feeling roiling inside me.
“Natalya, she will not come back here,” he says to me. “You have nothing to worry about.” He reaches out to me again, brushing my shoulder with his hand. I bat his hand away.
“Y–You said that I would be safe here.” My voice is cracking. Shit, where did those sobs come from? I swallow hard in an effort to contain this agony. “You said that you wouldn’t let anyone hurt me—”
“I never could have predicted Kat coming back here under any circumstances—”
“She attacked me, Anton. Did you know how violent she was? Oh, yeah, I mean, she was your fiancée, so you had to know what she was capable of. Why didn’t you tell your men out there to look out for her? Why didn’t you tell them to shoot her if she set foot on the estate?”
He just stares at me, his mouth tightening into a thin line. He doesn’t have an answer. Mr. Confidence can’t even answer that question for me. Maybe there’s a reason for that. Maybe under all that bravado, the truth is that he’d rather be with her.
“You were with her once, is that it?” I press. “She holds some special place in your heart—”
“She has nothing I want,” he says. “She’s been a bane on my life since I came home. If I had known she’d come here and threaten you like this—”
“Deep down, you knew. You knew that she would do something like this if she caught another woman in your house.” I cover my mouth as the sobs start to cloud my words. Oh, God, I’m going to disintegrate right here at the foot of his stairs.
“I did not know,” he says to me. “Natalya, I would never put you in harm’s way. That’s why I sent her away the way I did. She won’t come back like this again, I promise you—”
“Stop,” I say. “Just stop it. Please. I can’t do this.” The tears are coming down in torrents now. I just… I can’t… I…”
I don’t finish the sentence. I turn around and rush up the stairs and to my room, closing the door and locking it behind me. I stand with my back against the door, waiting for him to follow me and start banging on the door. He doesn’t. I’m left standing here weeping in my solitude.
I cry it out for a few minutes, then I go and lie down on the bed. I haven’t even been here longer than twenty-four hours. It’s got me wondering if I’m better off here than back with my father. I don’t want to have to worry about who’s going to kill me.
I curl up and wrap my arms around my stomach. She almost killed you, tiny one. I couldn’t even protect you from her. She could have killed us both. She still might.
I rub my hand over my belly, thankful that Katerina didn’t cause a miscarriage. If she did manage to get into this house again and catch me alone, how quickly could Anton come to my rescue? Would he even be able to?
I roll over and wipe my face on my pillow. What a crap situation this is. I wish I had somebody to talk to. Like, really talk to.
That’s when I spot the phone on the end table by the window. It’s a landline phone, something that up until this very moment has translated to decoration in my mind.
Do I remember Ilya’s number? I think I do. I get up and walk over to the phone, hoping to hear a dial tone when I pick up the receiver. I hear it before it reaches my ear.
Now… her number… let me think. I look at the numbered buttons, trying to visualize her phone number. It hasn’t changed in all the years we’ve known one another…
I start dialing, the numbers coming to me slowly. It takes me a couple of tries, but finally, I hear the line trilling.
“Hello?” It’s Ilya. Thank God.
“Lee? Hey, it’s me.”
“Oh, my God. Are you okay? I’ve been worried about you all day.”
“I’m fine… physically. Mentally, not so much.” I go into the events of the day, updating her on everything that happened after I left the apartment. She listens quietly, only uttering small grunts of acknowledgment as I regale her with my adventure.
I finish telling her about Katerina and she says, “Of course, he has a crazy ex-girlfriend. Boy, what a mess this is.”
“Tell me about it. I don’t know if I can stay here, Ilya.
What if she comes back? Or what if someone worse breaks in or something?
All this talk about protecting me. Anton wasn’t even here when Katerina showed up.
I was lucky that Anton came home when he did.
If he hadn’t…” I trail off, the sobs starting to build up again.
I swallow hard and push it back down into my stomach.
“Okay, take a breath. Chill out. We’ll figure this out,” she says. “First things first, though. How are you feeling? The baby?”
“I’m fine. The baby’s okay, too, I think. Thank goodness.”
“Thank goodness is right.” She pauses, and I already know what she’s about to ask me. “So, have you thought about telling him yet?”
“No, and I don’t plan to. My mind’s set on that, Lee.
There’s no way for me to know that Anton can keep us both safe or that he even wants to be a father.
I’ve really been thinking all of this over, and this baby has to be mine and mine alone.
I don’t want someone around who’s unable to parent his own kid. I’d rather just raise it alone.”
“But… you don’t know what kind of father Anton would be. I mean—”
“I can’t take that chance, Lee. I don’t know what kind of real monster he could be. What if I tell him and he decides to lock me up in one of these rooms until I give birth and then takes it from me and raises it to be his heir?”
“Do you hear yourself?” she laughs. “What do you think this is? Rumpelstiltskin? King Anton Romanov locking up the fair maiden until she either spins him some gold or gives him a kid? You sound nuts.”
I go to object, but I can’t. It does sound ridiculous.
I chuckle as I lean back on the bed. My head hits the pillow and suddenly, my anxiety starts to drain.
“I guess I might be being a little overdramatic. I just… I want to give this kid the best chance I can, you know? I don’t know if I can do that with Anton if I can’t rely on him. ”
“I get it.” She sighs. “You know, I’d say you can always come back here, but that might be a really bad idea considering. You know, your dad came by.”
“So I heard.” I twist up the curled cord with my fingers. “What did you tell him?”
“Basically, what you told me to tell him. I said that I didn’t know where you were,” she says, “which, at the time, wasn’t exactly a lie. I said that you left yesterday morning and didn’t come back.”
I relax a little. At least I can count on my father not being among the ones banging on Anton’s door to find me. “I’m sorry I got you into all this.”
“Into what? He believed me. All he said was to call him if I heard from you and left his number. He was actually pretty nice… It was weird.”
I snicker. “That is weird.”
“Yeah. He even smiled. Hope he didn’t sprain a muscle doing it. Pretty sure he’ll feel it in the morning.”
I laugh. It feels good to laugh. “Probably.”
We laugh together for a few seconds, and when it dies down, Ilya asks, “So, what’s next? If you’re that worried about staying there, what will you do?”
“I don’t know. I mean… if I asked Anton to let me leave, I’m sure he wouldn’t stop me from going.” I pause, and I’m pretty certain Ilya can hear the wheels of indecision turning in my head.
“Do you want to stay with him?”
I sigh as I turn the question around in my mind. Finally, I just say, “I don’t know how to answer that.”
“Well… Why don’t you pro and con it?”
I think about that. Whenever I couldn’t make a decision in the past, I’d write a list with one side stating the pros and the other side the cons. I don’t have any pen and paper handy, but maybe we can talk this out.
“Okay, so, what are the pros?” I smile as the very first thought pops into my mind. His hands on my ass. “He’s incredible in bed.”
“That and a pack of gum will give you fresh breath. What else?”
I sigh and think. My mind goes to the chess game this morning. The excitement of learning something new felt good. It was like a part of my brain was stretching its legs. “He taught me to play chess,” I say. “He opens doors and pulls out chairs for me. He talks to me like a person—”
“Oof. The bar is low, Nat.”
“Okay, stop. Those are great qualities to have in a relationship. I feel like… well, I feel like he respects me. Like I’m on his team instead of walking behind him, you know?”
“All right. That’s fair. What about cons?”
“Well,” I say with a heavy sigh, “He is one of them, you know. Part of the Brotherhood. He’s Bratva, and they aren’t exactly known for being soft, caring types. He’s got a hell of a temper when he’s angry. You should have seen how he manhandled Katerina.”
“To be fair, he did recognize that she tried to hurt you. That anger sounds well-placed. Imagine what he’d do if one of his rivals tried that on you.”
I bite my lip thoughtfully. I have no doubt that he’d probably kill them where they stood.
“Yeah,” I say. “He’s pretty protective. When he’s here. Not sure if that belongs in the pro or con section…” I take a second to think about it. “Everything he’s done for me, he’s done in the name of protecting me and making sure I’m comfortable. He even had one of his people get clothes for me.”
“So, he’s decent. That’s a good quality to have. Also sounds like another pro.”
I shrug. “So decent that he was once engaged to a certified psycho? It makes me wonder what I’m missing. What more don’t I know about him?”
She sighs. “Well, practically speaking, if there wasn’t someone actively trying to kill you, I’d say come back to the apartment to put some distance between you so you can figure things out.
Being that you’re probably way safer in the fortress of a Bratva Pakhan, it’s probably best if you figure things out there for the time being. ”
“Maybe,” I say in a small voice. “No one but my dad knows where I am except you, though. And he’s already been to your place. I could be just as safe with you. Besides, all my stuff is still there.”
“Yeah. So, what do you want to do? I’ll support whatever decision you make.”
I think it over for a minute. Do I stay or go? Is being with Anton worth all this insanity? I guess that’s the real question.
A loud knock interrupts my thoughts. From behind the door, I hear Anton say, “Natalya. Let me in, please. Let’s talk.”