Chapter Thirteen
“Hey, isn’t that Myla?” Jeff said and pointed to where Myla was running down the block with a huge smile on her face. She threw herself into the arms of another man.
Kaleb stood on the street corner with his friend Jeff, across from her.
“Yeah,” he said, distracted. Fuck. This was his worst nightmare come to life.
It was midday on a Friday, so the streets and sidewalks were crowded with people out for lunch or shopping.
“He’s a cop,” Jeff stated.
“How do you know that?” Kaleb asked without taking his eyes off Myla.
“I saw a badge and gun under his jacket,” Jeff grunted. “She must just like cops.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Kaleb said as he watched them go into a café.
“Jeeze, the guy could be a fucking model.” Jeff grimaced when he caught sight of the expression on his face. He slapped the back of Kaleb’s shoulder. “Do you want to go meet him? I bet they’re just friends. I can’t see Myla wanting another guy.”
Kaleb sucked in a deep breath and shook his head.
“No. Let’s go get lunch.” Kaleb turned in the opposite direction, dragging his gaze from the front of the café.
He knew he was still alive because he was breathing, but the pain was close to overwhelming him, and he actually felt tears sting his eyes. Fuck it. He knew she was too good to be true. He should have broken it off a long time ago, before he let her make him feel this kind of agony.
He would take care of the situation after work.
****
Myla was just tossing her purse and keys down on the counter at her apartment when the buzzer sounded.
“Yes?”
“It’s me,” Kaleb said.
She frowned at the cold, distant tone of his voice.
“I’ll buzz you in,” she said and pressed the button to unlock the door.
She wondered if he had a bad day or if he was just pulling farther away from her. She felt a change in him over the last few weeks, but when she questioned him, he told her he was tired.
She unlocked the door and pulled it open when he knocked.
“Hi,” she said cheerfully as she watched him step into her apartment. She turned after locking the door. “I thought you wouldn’t be here until seven. I’m sorry, I’m not ready.”
He ran a hand down the back of his neck as he turned to her.
“Yeah, we did plan it that way.”
She took a step toward him and froze when he stepped back from her. “What’s wrong?”
He gritted his teeth. “Did you have a nice day?”
She narrowed her eyes in confusion. “Yes. How about yours?” she asked.
“Did you go out with your friends to eat? You talked about it last night?”
She nodded. “Yes, I did.”
His eyes narrowed on her as she started to fidget, and a look of guilt crossed her face. He ground his teeth together.
“With Rebecca? At least that’s what I thought you said.”
“Kaleb, tell me what’s going on,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. She wanted to tell him of her fears about being stalked, but she could sense he was growing more distant, and she didn’t want to add to his stress.
He wiped his mouth with his hand as he stared at her.
“It’s not working,” he said bluntly.
A frown pulled her brows together. “What’s not working?”
“Us.”
She sucked in a breath and blinked back the tears that instantly started to form.
“Why?” she asked, her voice trembling, and tightened her arms around her waist, trying to hold herself together.
“We don’t fit.”
“What the hell does that even mean?” she stammered.
His expression turned thunderous. “We’re like that fucking cartoon, Beauty and the Beast, and I don’t want any part of it.”
“Is this about your scars?” she spat out angrily.
“No, it’s about you being too good to be true.”
Her mouth dropped open and then snapped shut. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“It does when you’re standing in my shoes.”
Frustrated, Myla turned her back to him and walked to the window in her living room.
“You don’t have to make up shit, Kaleb. If you don’t want me, just say it.”
“Turn around,” he growled.
She watched him cringe when she turned and knew he probably caught sight of the blatant misery in her eyes.
“I’m not sure what happened,” she stated, and then stopped, swallowed, and looked down at the floor. “I wish you would just tell me. You’ve been slowly closing yourself off from me for a few weeks. If I did anything to hurt you, I’m sorry. I never intended to do that.”
“Look, I’m sorry about springing this on you. I just think it’s best we chill. I never intended to get so involved with anyone.”
“Is this because I told you I loved you?”
He was surprised by the spear of pain that lanced his heart. He wanted more than anything to have her love, but it would cost him too much when she left.
“No, it wasn’t that. Listen, I’m going to head out.”
She took a shaky step toward him. “So, this is it?”
He ran a hand over the back of his neck. “I think it’s best.”
She took a deep breath and made herself walk to the door. She could see her hands shaking as she disengaged the locks. She slowly pulled the door open and then looked at him.
“Thank you for saying it to my face. I’m sorry about whatever happened, Dadd ... I mean Kaleb. I can’t take back telling you I loved you, and frankly, I don’t want to, because I do. Just know I’ll pray for you,” she said softly and looked down. “And I hope you’ll be safe.”
“Call me if you ever need me.”
“What if I told you I need you now, and I always will?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Maybe we should just cut everything off now. It might be easier.”
She stood, staring at her wood floor without seeing anything. Her focus was to keep from screaming out at him. She never imagined pain that went this deep. All she wanted was to burrow under her covers and let the tears fall and hopefully relieve some of the pressure in her chest.
“Look at me,” he demanded.
She shook her head. “No. If you’re going to leave, please go,” she whispered.
“I want you to look at me first.”
She felt her stomach constrict as a slice of pain shot through her. “You can’t tell me what to do anymore. You just gave up that right. Please leave.”
****
The thought of never seeing her again was making him physically ill. But he couldn’t get rid of the thought of her being with another man. A perfect man.
Kaleb stood staring at her, willing her to look at him.
He knew she had sensed his withdrawal, but he had hoped he’d get past his insecurities.
But seeing her that day solidified his decision to break it off now because he wouldn’t be able to take it if she left him after he put any more of himself into the relationship.
She already had his heart, but he’d kept a part of himself—a deep part of his soul—protected from the pain of losing her.
He felt tears sting his eyes. He walked to the door and froze next to her. He had to fight the urge to pull her into his arms and never let go. He gritted his teeth when she wouldn’t look at him, but he’d done enough tonight without making demands.
He growled under his breath, turned, and walked out. He waited to hear her engage all the locks on the door. He just about lost it when he heard her trying to stifle the sobs that burst from her. The crying dimmed as she walked away from the door.
He wiped away a tear. The pain he felt at that moment was unbearable. He wanted to pound on her door and demand she let him in, or put his fist through a wall, or scream at the top of his lungs just to release some of the manic pain that wracked his body.
He turned and made his way down the stairs and out the front door. He stood on the sidewalk and looked up at her window. He frowned when the light went off in her living room, and her bedroom light stayed off. All he saw was a dark void, and it somehow made him feel worse.
He got in his truck, stared up at her place for a long moment before putting his vehicle into gear and driving off. He looked in his rearview mirror and thought it was the last time he’d see the area because he wouldn’t be able to go back for a long time.
His last thought was he’d finally found his little and then lost her. He knew in his heart he’d never have another, and that pain added to the rest, making it hard for him to breathe.