Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Knightly
“Are they honestly trying to open my door and just walk in?” His family had audacity, I’d give them that. “What are they thinking?”
Rhodes collapsed against me, forgetting for the moment he’d been trying to whore out his kisses for laundry. “Invaders don’t think. They just invade.”
I had to agree with him.
“They’re confident invaders, though.” I wasn’t sure any of them could’ve explained why trying to just walk into my house was a terrible idea. “I just wish they had a bit more smarts to go with all that confidence.”
Rhodes’s dramatic sigh said he was thinking the same thing. “I got an uncle who says I got all the smarts in this part of the family. He’s nice and he’s smart too because he lives on the moon.”
The moon?
Did he live on the other side of the world or was he some kind of astronaut?
“I think you’re very smart and cute, but I’m glad he could see it too.” I’d figure out the moon part later. “After we get our cleaning done, did you want to do a stay home date or an out in public date?”
I didn’t care as long as food was eventually involved.
“Hmm…” Rhodes made exaggerated thinking sounds as he wiggled against me because the faster his brain worked the faster the rest of him moved. “Yes.”
I managed not to laugh out loud but I couldn’t help the way my chest jerked. “I’ll figure it out then.”
I was going to have to see what food he had in his fridge and how long he stayed Little first. I wasn’t sure what kind of public places to take a chatterbox Little but the only things that were coming to mind were too far away.
He’d love something like the zoo or the aquarium, but those were full day trips, not an afternoon date.
Rhodes clearly liked that plan because I got a cute happy dance wiggle. “I like having a Daddy.”
Because they made decisions and chased off the invaders.
“I’m glad because I like having a cute little firecracker to play with.” That got a giggle from him but it quickly turned into a sigh as the doorbell rang. “At least they’ve realized they can’t get in with the door locked.”
And my gate also had a lock after an unfortunate incident with a neighbor’s child’s birthday party I’d refused to host because I wasn’t related to him in any way. Some people really didn’t understand that just wanting the bigger yard didn’t mean they actually got to have it.
“Invaders are naughty, Daddy.” He huffed and hid against me. “No spankings for them.”
Agreed.
“Alright. You run upstairs to my room and lock the door just in case.” I could see one of them slipping in and creating chaos. “I have a surprise for you. Go look under the bed.”
Giggling like a cartoon supervillain, Rhodes threw himself off my lap and flew through the house, clomping up the stairs so loudly every neighbor on the block probably heard him. “Mine. Mine. Mine.”
Shaking my head, I tried not to laugh because that just encouraged him. “Behave.”
I was going to have to tell his family the same thing but they weren’t nearly as cute as he was. My little firecracker made me smile but I frowned at the chaos horde as I opened the door about six inches and planted my foot firmly behind it to brace it. “Yes?”
I wasn’t sure if the current wave of bad decisions was because there weren’t any wives or even exes in the invading army, but it told me they’d escaped their keepers.
“We need to talk to Rhodes.” Axel was glaring at me like I was the invader, so I wasn’t sure what kind of crazy he’d concocted. “He’s not at home, so he’s probably hiding in your backyard.”
Huh?
I was really glad I’d locked my firecracker’s fence too.
He wasn’t going to be able to tell me that I might’ve been overreacting any longer.
“I’m going to need someone else to translate that for me.” I glanced around at the horde, focusing on the ones I’d actually talked to. Ranger and Cross had just glared at me during the barbecue, so I ignored them as I focused on the second-tier nuts.
Hmm.
Not any of Axel’s kids because they were weird too.
Matt’s barely subtle wink said I needed to find my wallet but I knew better than to bring attention to that. I’d need him in the future, so I was subtle and would talk to him in private.
Finally one of Rhode’s midrange brothers spoke up…
maybe Cross but they looked too much alike for me to be able to easily tell them apart.
“Rhodes actually thinks you guys are dating and it’s going to fuck him up when he realizes you’re straight.
We’re here to clear up that shit. Mom’s found a nice guy for him, and if it works out, they can get married in the fall. ”
For fuck’s sake.
We needed more money for Matt.
“Where did your mother find someone to marry him?” That probably wasn’t where I should’ve started but it was the weirdest.
What cultures still did matchmaking?
“That’s not the point.” Maybe-Cross was looking at me like I was an idiot, making me question reality for a few seconds. “She made us realize we haven’t been taking him seriously, so it’s time to find a guy for him. He likes sparkly shit so we found another one that likes that too.”
Oh god.
Two subs didn’t make a Dom… math just didn’t work like that.
Wait.
Did they think Rhodes was stalking me and hiding in my yard?
How were they justifying our behavior at the barbecue?
Hadn’t we actually said we were dating?
Reminding myself that I was smart and a fucking engineer, I tried to be subtle as I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then I told myself kids were present and I did it again. That didn’t help but I was going to try my best not to say anything too rude.
“Okay, first of all, who Rhodes goes out with isn’t anyone else’s business unless he brings it up. Period.” That should’ve been common sense but they were… really uncommon. “Second, he is dating me. I’m not sure how that got confused, but he’s important to me.”
Really, really uncommon… because they were all looking at me with heads cocked and utterly befuddled frowns on their faces.
Well, everyone except Matt because he was trying not to grin… he was going to have to work on his poker face.
“Third, stop trying to break into our houses. I will call the cops.” Hmm. “Think about what your wives will say if they have to spend money bailing your asses out of jail.”
Bingo.
Nods all around.
Okay, what else?
“Next, Rhodes will be very happy you were concerned about him and that you came over to check on him.” It was the only way I could figure out how to frame it where they didn’t sound like assholes. “Any questions?”
Great.
The other one who might be Ranger… or could actually be Cross… raised his hand.
“Yes?”
This was going to be good.
“He’s a guy.”
Huh?
When I just blinked because I just couldn’t process that level of stupidity, Matt cleared his throat. “Um. They’ve seen you dating girls. You go to their cousin’s bar when you meet girls. Um. Women. When you date women.”
God.
How was the kid the smartest person in the group?
Ten bucks said he knew what being bi meant but he couldn’t get the idiots to understand it.
“I like women and men.” More confused stares. “I’m greedy. I like everybody so I don’t have to pick just one team. I get to root for anyone I find interesting.”
And the lights finally went on.
Good grief.
They really did watch too much sports.
“That’s real? Like not just a Hollywood thing?” Indy turned to his tall kid who might actually be in college but I’d lost track of who went with what story. No one actually looked like their age and they all looked way too much alike for me to remember shit. “We’ll talk about that later.”
Oh.
Okay, Rhodes and I would come back to that at the next barbecue when I could figure out the kid’s name and how old he was. Just looking like some kind of linebacker didn’t give me enough information.
“You guys are going to go home. When I see Rhodes, I’ll let him know you were worried about him but I cleared things up. You will tell your mother he’s not getting married to anyone right now but that I have first dibs.”
That might’ve actually been the strangest thing I’d said in a long time, but the fact that it didn’t give me heartburn told me a lot.
“If you guys want to come over… call and we’ll figure out a time to do another barbecue.” There were just too many of them to do anything inside without better planning… and better locks. “We could also meet up at the bar if you want.”
Maybe?
It was just down the street from a few good first date spots like a fancy shopping center and a farmers’ market.
I’d just never thought to take a guy there because on those kinds of dates we usually did other stuff.
I’d never dated a buy a new purse and get flowers at the farmers market kind of guy.
Hell, even with Rhodes he’d rather go to a toy store and then McDonalds.
Hmm… a sparkly backpack would be cute, though.
When was his birthday?
No.
Stay on track, moron.
Heads bobbed as what I said finally made it through their thick skulls.
“Now, go do something fun or whatever you told your wives you’d be doing so you don’t have to lie.” The way all the men winced said lies had been involved. “Where do they think you are?”
Matt grinned. “Go-carts. We stopped by to ask Uncle Rhodes if he wanted to come.”
Not a bad plan… the kid must’ve come up with it.
“Have fun with the go-carts. Don’t run into each other.” There was definitely a longer list of things I should’ve told them, but I didn’t want to accidentally end up being invited. “Talk to you guys later.”
Shutting the door before they could say anything else, I quickly threw the deadbolt just in case and walked away from the door as loud as I could.
I was really hating that I hadn’t installed a doorbell cam yet and made a mental note to fix that as soon as possible. It was too quiet for several long moments before I heard their voices booming from the front yard as the chaos seemed to move away from the house.
Hiding by the stairs, I gave them about a minute before going back to the window in the dining room. It had the best curtains to hide behind and gave me a view of the yard. “Perfect.”
They’d actually gotten into their cars.
Three different vehicles because there had to be at least ten of them.
Which kids had stayed home?
Hadn’t there been more of them last week?
When they’d driven off, I let out a relieved sigh and headed up to find Rhodes.
He’d been very quiet while they were trying to invade, but I wasn’t sure if that meant I owed him a reward or a punishment.
He was mischievous enough that it could go either way, so I was prepared for anything as I got to my bedroom.
“The castle is safe. I defended it from the horde.” The invaders were weird but we’d made it through the wave without incident. “They were just checking on the castle inhabitants.”
Kind of.
Giggles coming from the other side of the door said he’d found something more interesting to do than worry about the horde. “Thank you, Daddy.”
What was he up to?
“Are you going to open the door?” The singsong tone he’d used said he was still Little but the wicked giggle said I was right about him being up to something.
“No.” More giggles said he thought that answer was hilarious. “Thank you for my present, Daddy.”
I was pretty sure I heard another litany of mine-mine-mine, but his voice had dropped so I couldn’t be sure.
He might’ve been sneaky and silly, but I was smart and devious, so I reached above the door and grabbed the tiny key-like poker the builder had left. Popping the lock was easy but stopping myself from moaning in shock was harder.
Yep, mischief.
“That present wasn’t under the bed, silly boy.” That had been at the top of my closet because I’d been going to surprise him with it another time. “Did you forget what under the bed meant?”
His giggles turned into a breathy moan as he shoved the banana-shaped vibrator deeper into his ass. “Yes. I’m… I’m silly. I got lost. Oh well.”
He was something alright… naked and hard as a rock to start.
My favorite part was the way he was cradling the art set to his chest while he worked himself hard with his other hand.
As soon as he saw me looking at the actual toy set I’d gotten for him, he tightened his hold. “Mine.”
“That’s right.” I was not going to argue ownership with a Little with a banana in his rectum. “They’re both yours.”
Possession confirmed, he smiled and his eyes closed as he made the banana vibrate faster. “You… you buy… you buy the best toys, Daddy.”
Eventually I was going to ask if he meant the coloring stuff or the banana, but for the time being, I just enjoyed the show.
I was never going to be able to look at bananas the same way again.