Chapter 12
COLT
Rage.
It consumes me, threatening to burn me alive as I hold my sniffling babygirl in my arms, helping her to calm down from yet another panic attack.
There is no doubt in my mind now that someone hurt her, very badly.
And I want nothing more than to find that someone and carve their spine from their body to remind the world what happens to spineless cowards who hurt helpless Little girls.
But right now, I have a babygirl who needs me, so I shove the rage as far down as I can and tighten my hold on my sweet Little girl. My family sits with us, worry on their faces as they watch her breathing slowly return to normal.
My own churning emotions calm somewhat when she sighs softly and snuggles into me. I press a kiss to her hair and give her bottom a gentle pat. “Let’s go get you cleaned up so Auntie Gray and your cousins can help you get ready for the ceremony.”
Without waiting for anyone to agree, I rise from the couch with Tabby in my arms, and carry her to the small bathroom off the kitchen.
Well, I suppose it’s only small compared to the other bathrooms in the house.
In reality, it’s rather spacious considering it has to contain not only a toilet and bathtub for emergency baths—which are more frequent than I’d thought they would be with Lanie around—but a changing table as well.
Sitting my babygirl on the wide counter of the sink vanity, I turn the faucet on, making sure it’s not too hot as I crouch to search the cabinet for a washcloth.
“Daddy?”
Her soft voice pulls my attention back upward. “Yeah, baby?”
“Are you mad?”
Fuck, she sounds so sad. Grabbing a cloth, I push back to my feet and cup her face, brushing at her tears with my thumb. “No, little one. I was never mad.” Not at you, anyway.
Her bottom lip trembles and fresh tears well in her eyes. “Promise?”
“Of course, little one. Daddy would never lie to you. Lying is very naughty.”
In a surprise move, her mouth twists up into a wry smile. “Kidnapping is fine but lying crosses a line?”
“Sassy little girl,” I grumble, narrowing my eyes at her while I wet the washcloth. “For the record, I didn’t kidnap you. You’re my wife and this is your new home. No kidnapping needed.”
“That’s not exactly how I remember it, but okay.”
Shaking my head, I swipe the wet cloth over her face, taking care not to press too hard. “You say kidnapping, I say taking care of what’s mine. Tomato, to-mah-to.”
A sweet, high giggle fills the room, soothing some of the rage still bubbling deep inside me. But then she sobers, her wide, wounded eyes staring into mine, and my stomach twists again.
“Do you really mean that?”
“Mean what, baby?”
“The part about taking care of what’s yours. Am I really yours?”
Setting the cloth aside, I cup her face in my hands, meeting her worried gaze head on. “You are mine, until death do we part, Tabitha Grace. And even beyond that, if I have anything to say about it.”
“But what if you get tired of me? What if I’m too naughty? What if—”
“Stop.” At my sharp command, she presses her lips together as if she’s physically preventing herself from speaking.
“Good girl. Now, like I told you before. There is no amount of naughtiness that could make me not want you as my wife and my Little girl. If you are naughty, Daddy will punish you. Sometimes that will mean spanking your cute little bottom, sometimes it will mean taking away privileges like being allowed to go outside and play. But it will never, ever mean me sending you away. Okay?”
“Okay.” Doubt still lingers in her voice, and I have to bite back a sigh.
Instead, I lean in, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Good girl. Do you have any other questions for me before we go back out to the living room?”
Perfect white teeth worry at her bottom lip for a moment before she nods slowly. “I can ask anything?”
“Yes. I promise to answer to the best of my ability.”
“Your family keeps talking about a ceremony. Will you tell me about it? I–I don’t really like surprises and I don’t wanna freak out again in front of everybody.”
An easy enough request. Hooking my hands beneath her arms, I lift her from the vanity and carry her over to the changing table, where I grab a fresh diaper and a bottle of baby powder. “My family has some… unique wedding traditions.”
From the table, she watches me through wide eyes as I sprinkle the powder over her private parts and slide the thick cotton beneath her bottom. “Like what?”
“Well, first of all, you won’t be wearing a wedding dress. You’ll only be wearing your diaper.”
Red floods her cheeks. “Oh, Daddy, no! I’ll die of embarrassment!”
“You won’t die, little one. And you’ll need to get used to people seeing you in various states of undress at some point.
There will be times when Daddy is busy or needs to go on a trip, and your auntie and your uncles will be responsible for taking care of you when I’m not around.
Which means bathing you, changing your diapers, helping you get dressed. ”
“I could do all that myself. I’m not really a baby.”
Once the tabs of her diaper are secure, I lean down so we’re nearly nose to nose. “But you are, my sweet little firecracker. You are Daddy’s baby and you will always be treated as such. Now, do you want to hear about the rest of the ceremony or do you want to keep arguing?”
Her eyes narrow slightly, making it clear she does indeed want to keep arguing. But then her bottom lip puffs out and she sighs. “The ceremony, please.”
“What good manners you have, little one.” Lifting her from the changing table, I rest her on my hip, bouncing her lightly as I continue my explanation. “Do you know what handfasting is?”
“Sort of. It’s a kind of wedding tradition, right? Where you tie each other’s hands together?”
“Close enough,” I say with a chuckle. “We have something similar, except it’s only your hands that will be bound with a special blue rope so you have your something blue. And Auntie Gray will do your hair so you can wear our mother’s wedding tiara, your something old.”
Worry crinkles her brow. “Oh, I couldn’t. It’s probably way too nice and I don’t want to ruin it.”
“You won’t ruin anything, little firecracker. And it’s our tradition, so I don’t want to hear any more arguments. Understood?”
Pouting again, she ducks her head. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Good. For your something new, Daddy has a pacifier you’ll wear during the ceremony, and for your something borrowed, you’ll carry Auntie Gray’s brush.”
Her nose wrinkles. “I don’t like that brush.”
“That’s very much the point. It’s to help remind you that your Daddy and the other grownups in your life will never hesitate to give you the discipline you need.”
Okay, so I made that last part up on the fly. Really, all of our “traditions” have been created pretty much the same way, with the exception of our mother’s tiara. That is one of the few things we brought with us when we fled our old life to build something new here in Colorado.
I don’t want to depress my babygirl with the details of our violent past, however, so I keep all that to myself as I carry her back toward the living room.
“Once you’re ready, Daddy will walk you down the aisle and we’ll say our vows.
” I hesitate, wondering if I should tell her the rest. More than once now I’ve promised to never lie to her, and a Daddy never breaks a promise if he can help it.
But I have also told her that sometimes I will need to keep secrets from her for her own good.
And this feels like one of those situations where not telling her about the final act in my family’s wedding ceremonies is certainly for her own good.
The last thing I want is for her to be panicking about what comes next while we’re pledging to spend the rest of our lives together.
So I smile and tap her cute little button nose. “And then we’ll have a big celebration with lots of cheering and banging on pots and pans, and you’ll be a Thorne, forever and ever.”
“Forever’s a really long time.”
There is still a tinge of sadness in her voice that has those violent tendencies stirring in my chest again. I squash them for her sake and press a kiss to her hair, inhaling the scent of baby powder clinging to her. “It is. And it’s still not long enough, as far as I’m concerned.”
It’s clear from the expression on her face that she doesn’t believe me. But that’s fine.
As I said. I have the rest of our lives to prove to her how seriously the Thorne family takes our vows.
Tabitha
Now that I know what to expect from this wedding ceremony everyone keeps talking about, my nerves have calmed somewhat. I’m still not thrilled about being stripped naked in front of everyone but arguing about it will only get me in trouble again.
There’s a quiet voice in the back of my mind telling me to do it.
To misbehave so badly they have no choice but to send me home.
But the idea of being sent away makes my stomach ache to the point I’m worried I might be sick all over myself.
For reasons I can’t even explain to myself, I want these people to love me as much as Daddy says they love Josie and Lanie.
What is wrong with me?
I don’t have much time to really think about why it’s so important to me to win their love before Daddy sets me on my feet in the middle of the living room.
“All right, little firecracker. Daddy is going to go upstairs and get dressed, and your Auntie Gray is going to help you get ready. I want you to be on your best behavior, because if your Auntie Gray has to spank you, Daddy will bend you over and take his belt to your bare bottom before we say our vows. Understood?”
His belt? The brush was bad enough, I can only imagine how much a belt would hurt. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Good girl.” His praise slides over my skin, a gentle caress that leaves me warm and tingly in its wake. “I won’t be gone long and I’ll be right upstairs if you need me.”
I want to beg him not to go, to plead with him not to leave me alone with these strangers. Even though he’s the one who kidnapped me, he’s also the only source of familiarity I have in this strange world I’ve found myself dropped into.
Some of my distress must show on my face, because he doesn’t immediately turn to leave.
Instead he drops to one knee in front of me, taking my left hand in his and running his thumb over the ridiculously large stone on my finger.
“Hey. Daddy isn’t going anywhere, little one. You’re safe here, I promise.”
“Not safe from Auntie Gray’s brush,” one of the other girls mumbles. The sound of a hand striking bare skin rings out through the room and I glance over to see Lanie rubbing at the back of her thigh as she pouts up at Auntie Gray.
“You’re about to be the one who isn’t safe from my brush if you don’t watch the sass,” Auntie Gray warns.
“Yes, Auntie. Sorry.”
Daddy taps my arm, drawing my attention back to him. “Are you okay, babygirl?”
“Yes, Daddy.” It’s not even fully a lie. I still don’t want him to leave, but I don’t feel like I’m about to have a panic attack, either.
A smile stretches across Daddy’s handsome face. “My big, brave girl. Daddy’s so proud of you.”
“You are?” I can’t remember the last time someone told me they were proud of me, and hearing it from him gives me a warm, fuzzy sort of feeling in my chest I’ve never experienced.
“I am. You’re being so very brave for me right now. And if you can keep being brave just a little while longer, Daddy will give you a very special reward.”
Despite my protests that I’m not actually a child, everything inside me lights up at the prospect of a treat. “Okay!”
Rising to his feet, Daddy presses a kiss to my forehead before turning to his sister. “All right, Auntie Gray. She’s all yours.”