Chapter 18
TABITHA
Our wedding brunch is even better than dinner the night before. There’s biscuits and eggs and bacon and a delicious gravy I swear I could drink by the gallon. Uncle Eli even whips us up a batch of his frozen hot chocolate, which might be my new favorite thing in the entire world.
The best part, though, is that unlike last night, now I am actually taking the time to appreciate being part of such a large family.
Seated in my highchair beside Daddy—an unexpected change from being held on his lap last night, and one that almost got me spanked when I initially protested—I watch as the Thornes tease and laugh and share stories about each other.
Mostly about my Daddy, and I get the impression early on that they’re trying to embarrass him.
But he takes it all in stride, grinning and occasionally tossing out a rude comment in response.
After one such story, Auntie Gray throws her head back and lets out a loud, happy laugh.
“Oh my god, I thought Mama was going to murder the two of you,” she says to Daddy and Uncle Bram.
“She always swore she could tell you two apart no matter what, and the fact that you got one over on her pissed her off to no end.”
Daddy chuckles. “Nobody was more surprised than us that it actually worked. Totally worth the welts from Dad’s belt when he found out.”
“Do your parents live close?” I ask, delighted by the prospect of meeting the people who raised such a happy, tight-knit family.
But at my question, the table falls silent. Josie reaches for Uncle Bram’s hand, squeezing so hard her knuckles turn white, and my stomach drops to my knees.
“They passed a long time ago,” Daddy says softly. He’s smiling, but it’s strained at the edges and there’s a glimmer of tears in his eyes. “But they would have loved you.”
“I’m so sorry.” Even though I barely remember my own parents and what I do remember is tainted with fear and hunger, I can feel the love the Thorne siblings had for their parents and my heart breaks for all of them. “Was there an accident?”
Shoving away from the table, Uncle Eli stalks to the kitchen and my heart lodges itself in my throat. “What did I say? Did I do something wrong?”
“I’ll go check on him.” Uncle Ford pushes out of his chair and follows his brother.
Daddy runs a soothing hand over my hair. “You didn’t do anything wrong, baby. It’s just… not something we like to talk about.”
“But she deserves to know.” Josie’s voice is quiet, but insistent. “It’s not fair for everyone else to know the truth and not her. She’s family now.”
Another silence falls, this one heavier, more intense. I’m just about to insist it’s okay, that they don’t have to tell me if it’s too painful, when Daddy sighs. “You’re right, Josie. Tabby is a Thorne now, so she deserves to know about our past.”
“Your… past?” I whisper, my throat suddenly tight with fear. This is starting to sound like more than just a terrible accident.
“Yes.” Straightening in his chair, Daddy shifts, his dark gaze locking on me. “Our last name hasn’t always been Thorne. We were born into the Kincaid crime family, and our father was the leader.”
Ho. Lee. Crap. “You were in the mob?”
Daddy’s beard twitches. “Our parents were. Axel had just graduated college and started working in the… family business when our uncle decided to stage a bloody, violent coup. He got to our parents first, but somehow we all managed to escape. We fled our home, changed our names, and eventually ended up here in Colorado. Our friend Gunther helped us with a fresh start, forging the papers we needed for our new identities, with backgrounds deep enough to pass even the most stringent of checks. We made a home here, started a business, and eventually built something of a logging empire.”
“I’m so, so sorry. That must have been so hard for you. For all of you.”
Sadness flickers across his face. “It was. But like I said, it was a long time ago, and we’ve built a life here I think our parents would be proud of.”
The remaining siblings share a look so full of grief and love it almost feels like I’m intruding on something unbearably intimate just to see it. But then Uncle Eli steps back into the dining room holding a bottle of what appears to be milk, and the mood instantly shifts.
“Enough talk of the past,” he says firmly. “You still have one final Chivaree present, little one. This is from your Auntie Gray.”
Confused, I watch as Uncle Eli passes the bottle to Auntie Gray. Daddy unbuckles me from my chair, and I glance up at him as he carries me to the end of the table and settles me on his sister’s lap.
“Drink up, sweet Tabby,” Auntie Gray murmurs, her lips curving in a soft smile as she presses the rubber tip of the bottle to my mouth.
Just like with the pacifier, I give the nipple a tentative suck. Deliciously sweet, cold milk floods my mouth and I suck again, this time with more enthusiasm.
Auntie Gray grins down at me, and then up at my Daddy. “We really should talk to Maxwell about getting a couple cows for ourselves. Your little one seems to like their milk very much.”
“Oh, Daddy, can we get a cow?” Lanie pleads, her voice borderline desperate. “I’ve always wanted a cow! I love them so much!”
“Ah, well…” Uncle Axel clears his throat. “I’m not sure we’re properly equipped to care for these particular cows.”
“Why not?” There’s a hint of insult in Josie’s tone, as if she’s taking it personally that our family doesn’t have the capacity to raise farm animals. “It can’t possibly be that hard.”
Someone snorts, and from the corner of my eye, I see Uncle Ford drive his elbow into Uncle Dane’s side.
Honestly, I’m with my fellow Littles on this. Whatever kind of cows these are, I want as much of their milk as I can get. It’s delicious.
“It’s not about the difficulty, lovebug,” Uncle Bram says with a chuckle. “It’s about the cows themselves. They aren’t exactly your standard breed of cow.”
“Well what kind are they? I can do the research if the rest of you are too lazy.”
“Josie…”
Ignoring the warning in her Daddy’s tone, Josie throws her hands in the air. “What? I’m just offering to help!”
“What your Daddies are trying to say,” Auntie Gray interjects with a roll of her eyes, “is that the island cows aren’t actually cows. They’re women who have been brought to the island to live as cows.”
“Oh.” Lanie’s brows furrow for a moment before her eyes go wide as saucers. “Oh.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Voice pitching up to a high-pitched squeak, Josie looks from Auntie Gray to her Daddy and back again. “Are you saying we’ve been sucking down breast milk this whole time?”
“That is exactly what I’m saying, yes,” Auntie Gray says, seemingly completely unperturbed.
I should be horrified. And deep down, I sorta am. But honestly, the milk is so good I’m not really sure I care where it came from, as long as I get to drink my fill.
“I… I think I changed my mind about wanting a cow, Daddy.” Lanie’s voice is strained, and Uncle Axel chuckles as he lifts her out of her highchair.
“Probably for the best. I imagine it would get very cold in the barn for those types of cows.”
A loud knock on the front door interrupts the very, very strange conversation happening around me and Uncle Ford jumps up from his chair. “Thank god. I’ll go see who it is.”
“Just as well, this greedy Little girl has finished her bottle anyway,” Auntie Gray teases as she pulls the bottle from my mouth. “Do you want to burp her, Colt?”
Daddy lifts me from Auntie Gray’s lap, and to my horror, he does indeed hold me against one shoulder exactly like a baby. Before I can protest, he pats my back and a loud burp escapes.
“Oh my god!” Mortified, I bury my face in his shoulder. “That was so embarrassing!”
“Nonsense,” Daddy scoffs. “It’s a perfectly natural bodily function. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
He said the same thing upstairs when he forced me to pee in my diaper yet again, but it still doesn’t stop the humiliation from heating my entire body.
Luckily, I’m saved from my embarrassment by the reappearance of Uncle Ford, who is glaring darkly at my Daddy. “Did you buy all of Vegas, Colt? Someone just dropped off like ten boxes of stuff.”
“Oh!” I wiggle, trying to escape Daddy’s hold. “My clothes! Daddy, put me down!”
A hard swat to my diapered bottom freezes me in place. “Polite Little girls do not make demands,” he scolds. “Ask nicely and I will let you down so we can go open your boxes.”
Now it’s a whole new kind of embarrassment threatening to eat me alive. “Sorry, Daddy. May I please get down?”
“Of course, baby. Thank you for using your manners.”
The second he puts me on my feet, I take off for the living room.
“No running!” Daddy calls after me, and I force my footsteps to slow.
“Rexy!” I squeal, launching myself at the giant dinosaur that seems to take up half the room. “I missed you so much!”
“Holy shit, Colt. Where did you even find that thing?”
I don’t know which of my uncles has asked, and I don’t care. I’m much too invested in figuring out which of the many, many boxes holds the pretty dresses Daddy bought for me.
“Daddy, Daddy, can we open them? Please?”
Chuckling, Daddy kneels beside me. “Since you asked so politely, yes. Does anyone have a—”
Before he can even finish his sentence, Uncle Dane produces a pocketknife and hands it to him.
“Thanks, Dane.” Flipping it open, Daddy slices the tape on the smallest of all the boxes, a grin stretching across his face. “Ah, I was hoping these were in here.”
Leaning over, a brand-new excitement bubbles in my chest when Daddy carefully removes the sparkling globe from the box. “Oh! I forgot about those!”
“Do you want to give Lanie and Josie their presents?”
Uncertainty creeps up my spine. “Are you sure?”
“Of course, baby. You picked them out.”
I did. And at the time, they’d seemed so perfect. But now all I can think of is how silly they are, and how I should have spent more time picking out their gifts.