Chapter 25
TABBY
Nothing is working.
No matter how many times I get in trouble, no matter how many times I’m scolded for doing something reckless or dangerous, my heart remains stubbornly unconvinced that it actually means anything.
I’m wide awake again well before the sun comes up, trying to figure out how to convince my heart of something it refuses to accept.
I had another nightmare last night, the same one, and I woke with tears on my cheeks and an old, familiar ache in my chest. For some reason, my brain seems stuck on that single event.
And then it hits me, a truth so obvious I can’t believe it took me this long to realize it.
If that night at the beach is what my subconscious is so stuck on, then I need to recreate that night. Prove to myself, once and for all, that my family will react differently than my foster family did under the exact same circumstances.
My heart feels like it might pound right out of my chest as I slowly wriggle my way out of Daddy’s large bed. At one point, he rolls over, and I freeze, panic making my head spin as I watch him carefully to make sure he hasn’t woken up.
When I’m sure he’s still asleep, I slide off the bed, my bare feet silently pressing against the cold hardwood.
Dressed in nothing but one of Daddy’s t-shirts and my diaper, I creep toward the bedroom door.
I don’t dare risk going into my nursery to get different clothes for fear Daddy will wake up.
If that happens, I’ll get my butt spanked for being out of bed, but I still won’t know.
And I desperately, desperately need to know.
The fact that I’m able to slip from the bedroom completely undetected feels like a sign from the universe that I’m doing the right thing.
The only problem is, now that I’m out in the hall, I have no idea where to go.
In a house the size of ours, there are plenty of hiding places, but they’re all too easily discoverable.
In order for my plan to work, I need my family to think I’ve actually gone missing.
Frustrated, I stalk over to a window and stare out over the grassy area between our house and the woods. I could go hide there, maybe climb a tree or something.
But I’ve heard way too many horror stories of people getting lost in the woods in areas like this to take that risk. I want to prove that my family loves me, not actually risk getting lost forever or worse, come face to face with some kind of wild animal.
No, what I need is somewhere that’s out of the way but mostly safe. Somewhere my family won’t find me easily, without actually putting my life in danger.
As I’m staring out the window, an idea takes root. It’s risky, but not nearly as risky as hiding out in the woods with the bears and whatever else might be waiting to eat naughty Little girls like me.
With a glance over my shoulder to make sure I’m not in any danger of being caught yet, I flip open the lock on the window—which to my shock actually works, I half expected to need a key or something—and slowly push it open.
The roof is right there. Almost as if this window was built for the exact purpose of allowing someone access to it, which would make sense given how huge our house is. Heart pounding once more, I climb out the window onto a surprisingly flat section of roof.
Thankfully, even with the recent rain, the shingles are dry, and I easily find my footing. Until, that is, I turn to close the window behind me. My foot slips and I have to swallow a cry as I grip the window frame to keep from falling.
Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe I should go back inside, wake up my Daddy, and tell him all of my deepest fears.
But if I do that, I’ll still only have his word that he loves me and won’t ever leave me. That he will, truly, be heartbroken if I were to disappear. And I need more than words.
I need to know.
So I gather my courage and reach for the window, pulling it shut behind me. There. I did it.
Now to find somewhere to hide.
Colt
Sunlight warms my face, pulling me out of sleep and back to the land of the living. It’s Saturday, thank god, which means sleeping in.
And maybe a little time to enjoy my babygirl before we have to go downstairs for breakfast.
With visions of my little Tabby, her back arched and tears of pain and pleasure streaming down her cheeks filling my mind, I reach for her.
And reach, and reach, and reach.
Frowning, I crack open an eyelid to see where she is, only to find an empty bed.
I swallow the panic that rises in my chest as I sit up and scan the room. My babygirl is a naturally early riser, so it’s possible she went to her nursery to play for a bit.
Rolling out of bed, I make my way to the door that connects our two rooms. “Tabby?” I call out as I open the door.
But I’m greeted with silence, and a completely empty nursery.
Now the panic is harder to fight, but I do my best to keep a level head as I yank on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and hurry out to the hall.
I knock loudly on Bram’s door, and a moment later I’m greeted by my harried-looking twin.
“You better have a good goddamn reason for waking me up this early.”
“Tabby’s missing.” Despite my attempts to remain calm, my voice cracks as the panic begins to seep in. “She’s not in my room or her nursery. I can’t find her, Bram.”
“Okay. Just breathe.” My brother’s calm washes over me, easing some of the panic gripping me by the throat. “Let me get dressed and we’ll go look for her. She’s probably in the house somewhere, getting into some kind of mischief. You go wake the others.”
“Right. Yeah. You’re right.” He is. He has to be. Odds are we’ll go downstairs and find her climbing on the countertops again.
I swear if I find her doing something that dangerous one more time, I’m going to follow through on my promise to fuck her bottom every day for a week.
Bram disappears back into his bedroom and I make my way down our side of the house, waking Axel and Dane and before hurrying to the other side of the stairs to get Eli and Ford and Gray. Leaving my family to search the upstairs rooms, I race downstairs.
She’s not in the kitchen, or the living room, or my office. By the time the others join me, my heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of my chest with worry.
“Where the hell could she be?” Raking my hands through my hair, I pace the living room. “It’s a big house but it’s not big enough for her to hide from all of us.”
Gray’s gaze darts toward the window and a frown tugs at her lips. “Do you think she might have gone outside?”
“She knows better.” But even as I say the words, uncertainty settles like a lead weight in my gut.
Eli snorts. “She knows better than to climb on my damn countertops, but that didn’t stop her.”
Goddammit, he has a point. Without bothering to respond, I turn on my heel and race for the front door, pausing only to unlock it before throwing it open and hurrying outside.
“Tabitha!” I pause, listening for a response. A shout, a whimper, anything from my babygirl.
But all I’m met with is silence.
“Here.” Bram shoves a pair of boots into my hands as he strides forward, his eyes scanning the forest. “You’re no good to her if you slice your fucking feet to ribbons in the woods.”
Because he has a point, I take the time to pull the boots on while the rest of our family streams out of the house, with the exception of Eli and the Littles. Gray stands beside me on the porch, her hands fisted on her hips as she scans the wide expanse of land surrounding our house.
“We give it ten minutes. If we haven’t found her by then, we call Donnelly.”
Everyone freezes at that, turning to stare at our sister in stunned surprise.
Axel recovers first. “You want us to call the sheriff?”
Lip pulled back in a snarl, Gray all but growls at him. “I don’t want to. But if it means finding Tabby before something happens to her, then I’m not going to let my feelings for Reese Donnelly get in the way.”
Rising from the chair I’d sat in to put my boots on, I clap Gray on the shoulder. “Thank you.”
When she turns her head to meet my gaze, her eyes are blazing with determination. “If you really want to thank me, you’ll let me have a turn paddling her ass red once we find her.”
“Deal.”
Tabitha
I should have brought a blanket. Maybe a pillow. At the very least a coat. While it’s not freezing up here on the roof, it’s not exactly warm, either.
Despite the cold, I find myself nearly dozing off in the little nook I’ve found up on the roof. It’s not the most comfortable spot, but it’s got a place for me to lean against one of the dormers so I don’t have to worry about falling even if I do fall asleep.
My biggest worry right now is the fact that the sun has been up for what feels like an hour and nobody has come looking for me.
I don’t have any way to tell the time, so it might not actually be an hour but either way, my family is usually up with the sunrise, even on weekends.
The fact that nobody seems to have noticed I’m gone is—
“Tabitha!”
Daddy’s voice jolts me fully awake and I look around but I don’t see him. Other voices join his, too quiet for me to hear them, but it sounds like our whole family might be out here looking for me.
Okay, you got what you wanted. They noticed you’re gone and they’re clearly looking for you. Show yourself.
Maybe I should. But what if I show myself too soon? What if they just give up after an hour or so and leave me to my fate? How will I know if I end our one-sided game of hide-and-seek now?
No. Best to wait a little while longer and see what happens.
Just a little while longer.