Chapter 17
seventeen
DAISY
On Monday morning, I’m at my desk like normal.
Instead of designing this week’s newsletter, I’ve been googling nursing schools and their enrolment requirements.
After spending time with Natasha and watching the midwives taking care of her and Remi, the buzz for a profession I’d only dreamed of doing ignited.
Even though I’ve only watched them do the most basic nursing procedures like taking their blood pressure, listening to the baby’s heartbeat and taking their temperature.
It was more exciting than anything I’ve done in my administration role at the church.
I’ve asked them a million questions about their jobs.
A job I could tell, even though demanding, was something they loved and found rewarding.
My father walks out of his office, and I quickly click out of the school’s website.
“How is the newsletter going? Don’t forget to include the fundraiser. The time has changed to 1pm.”
I scribble a note on the notepad next to my keyboard. “I’m almost done,” I lie. “I’ve also sent the design for the fliers to the printers.”
He takes a seat on the opposite side of my desk. “Thank you. This office would fall apart without you.”
My heart sinks. Just as I thought, he needs me.
“How are things going with you and Evan? I really should invite him and his parents over for dinner.” How are things going?
I feel like we’re just friends. I’m sure it’s not what my father wants to hear.
“Speak of the devil. Evan, how are you?” My father says, looking over my shoulder.
He rises from his chair to shake Evan’s hand.
“Nice to see you, Jude. I hope you were saying good things about me.” Evan chuckles.
“Of course.” My father laughs back.
“What brings you into the office? Or should I say, who?” My father brightens with glee.
“I was hoping Daisy would like to join me for lunch. That’s if she’s not too busy.
” Evan grins at me. He’s so handsome. His smile lights up his face.
But it doesn’t set off butterflies in my stomach.
Not like one look from Kade does. I have to forget about Kade.
I haven’t seen him in days, and I’m hoping, with time, the thought of him will drift from my mind.
“I’d love to have lunch with you.” It’s the truth. I love spending time with Evan. Just not romantically. Maybe I haven’t given it a chance to move forward. I’ve filled my mind with Kade.
I pick up my bag, and we head outside. A light breeze blows through my hair, and the sky is darkening with gray clouds. Hopefully, we make it to the café before it rains.
Evan reaches for my hand, and without hesitation, I take it. When our fingers link, there’s no zap of electricity. No sparks flying up my arm. Whenever Kade touches me, I melt into a puddle at his feet. The energy between us is so hot and electric.
I mentally shake myself. Stop comparing Evan and Kade.
We stroll along until we find a small Italian restaurant tucked in a quiet street off the main road. During lunch, it’s the same as any other time we’ve spent together. We laugh, joke around and have so many things to talk about. He is the perfect guy. Why aren’t I falling madly in love with him?
At the end of lunch, we take a walk through a small park close to the church. In a quiet area, we stand by a pond watching ducks dive, looking for food. Evan turns toward me and rests his hands on my waist. This is new. We’ve never gotten this close before.
“I have a confession.” He’s looking a little nervous.
“What is it?”
“From the moment I met you, I’ve wanted to kiss you.” A little surprised gasp escapes my lips. “Would it be okay if I kiss you now?”
Now’s the time to test if there is anything more than friendship between us. And if the sparks are waiting for this moment to explode. I nod my consent. As he leans toward me, I close my eyes. Then his lips touch mine. The kiss is light, almost shy, and after a moment, we break apart.
Evan stares down at me with a slight crease between his eyes and a look of confusion. “That was… umm…”
I can tell the kiss didn’t knock his socks off either. “Should we try again?” I suggest. Just to be sure. Sometimes a first kiss can be awkward and takes a couple of tries to get it right.
“Definitely.” Again, he leans in, pulls me closer so our bodies are pressing against each other’s and kisses me.
The kiss has just the right amount of pressure.
Not too much tongue. He tasted good—no bad breath.
It should’ve been heart-stopping. A few moments later, we stop and pull apart.
Confusion is back on Evan’s face. “That was like kissing—”
“My brother, if I had one,” I say at the same time he says, “My sister, if I had one.”
After a second of stunned silence, we break into laughter. As much as I wanted this to be something, it just isn’t. If I have to force feelings, it’s never going to work.
I wipe a tear away from my eye and say seriously, “I’m so sorry.” For wasting his time. For not having the feelings I wanted to have for him.
Evan sighs with disappointment. “I’m sorry too.” He glances away for a moment. “I should have known this would never work.”
“Oh? Why do you say that?”
“Because every time you and Kade are in a room together, you can’t take your eyes off each other.”
I’m taken aback. “What?”
He slides his hands into his pockets. “The attraction is so obvious.”
Shaking my head, I say, “Kade is not my type, and I’m definitely not his.” Yet every time we’re together, that doesn’t seem to be the case.
It’s only physical. There’s no real deep connection.
“Are you sure about that? Because the way I’ve seen Kade look at you, I’d say you’re exactly his type.”
“It would never work. Our lives are so different. We don’t fit. And he’s not looking for anything serious.” How have we gone from kissing to talking about an attraction for another man? We really were meant to be just friends.
He gives me a sympathetic smile. “Well, if Kade isn’t for you, I hope you find someone amazing.”
“I wish that for you too.”
“Can we still be friends?” he asks.
“Absolutely.” And I mean it. I love Evan. Just not in the way I was trying to. I want him in my life.
He slides a hand into his pocket, then out again. He flips his wrist over and opens his palm. “Should we toss a coin to see who tells your father he has to stop planning our wedding?” He grins.
I drop my head into my hands and groan.
***
I lost the coin toss.
Yes, we actually tossed a coin to see who would break the news to my father. Evan was kind enough to suggest he come along for support. I denied the offer. This is something I need to do.
Back at work, I take a deep breath and enter my father’s office.
He glances up from the book he’s reading.
“How was your lunch with Evan?” I can see hope sparkling in his eyes.
I take a seat. “It was good.” Rain that threatened my lunch break taps on the window.
I take a moment to watch the water slide down the glass, trying to figure out how I’m going to break the news.
Leaning back in his chair, he says, “I’ll ask Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock over for dinner this week.” He opens his diary. “How about Thursday? Are you free?”
I twist my fingers together. “Dad, we need to talk.”
He raises an eyebrow, obviously detecting the seriousness in my voice. “What about?”
“Evan.” My father’s shoulders slump like he knows what I’m about to say. We’ve had a similar conversation many times before. “We decided we are better as friends. We both agreed we are more like brother and sister. There’s no reason to keep trying to make something work if there’s no spark.”
My father whips his glasses from his face and tosses them on the desk. On a heavy sigh, he says, “Evan is a perfect match for you.”
“No, he isn’t.”
“He’s intelligent, has a great career and comes from a good Christian family. What more do you want?”
“I want a deep connection. Someone I’m attracted to. I don’t have it with Evan.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut for a second. “Those things come with time. You never give anyone a chance. Not for the first time have I found someone suitable for you and our family. Why is it so hard to connect with any of them?”
“Maybe because you are choosing them for me. I’m a grown woman who can find my own partner.”
“You’re twenty-six years old. You should be married by now and planning a family.”
My mouth drops open in shock. “This isn’t 1955. There’s no timeline on marriage and babies I have to follow.”
“I have to say I’m very disappointed. I had hoped Evan was the one.”
“I’m sorry.” There’s nothing I hate more than disappointing my father. The two of us are the only family we have. “Can you please stop with the matchmaking and trust me to find my own boyfriend?”
He narrows his eyes and stares at me like he’s wondering if I’m capable. “Okay.”
Just like that? Okay? If I’d known it’d be so easy, I would’ve done this years ago.
I get up and round the desk, kissing him on the cheek and hugging his shoulders. “Thanks, Dad. I love you.”
He pats my hand. “I love you, too. You’re a good girl. I know you’ll make a sensible choice.”
A sensible choice to my father is someone like Evan and all the others before him.
If I don’t bring anyone home who measures up to that, he’ll probably go back to scouting eligible bachelors.
And to not disappoint him again, there’s a high chance I’ll go on a date with them when what I really want is to be swept off my feet by the dark, dangerous man who consumes my thoughts.