Chapter 26 #3
“Why are you giving me the cold shoulder? You’re the one who left me alone in Las Vegas. I should be giving you the cold shoulder.”
He rubs his chin. “I left you a note. And I’m not giving you the cold shoulder.”
I toss my head back and give a mirthless laugh. “A note that barely had two words on it. And it’s so cold in here, I think it might snow.”
“What did you want? A fucking poem?”
“A little decency. I left LA to go with you. I forgot to call my father because you’d kept me up all night, and I slept in.”
“I didn’t force you to come with me, nor did I hear you complaining about the lack of sleep.”
He’s right. I wanted to go with him. And sleep was far from my mind.
I plant my hands on my hips. “That’s not the point.”
He mirrors my stance. “Then what is?”
“You didn’t have the decency to tell me you were leaving.” If I was five years old, I’d stamp my foot.
He takes two steps closer. “And I told you I left you a note.”
I close the distance a little more. “Not good enough.”
“It’s more than I’ve given to any woman.”
I roll my eyes and scoff. “Gee, thank you so much, kind sir. I feel so privileged.”
Another step and we’re nose to nose. “I told you not to expect anything from me. I fuck women. There’s no attachment. No ‘I’ll call you’. No ‘let’s do this again.’ I never fuck the same woman twice. Consider yourself lucky you had me multiple times and in multiple places.”
I burst out laughing. “Do you even hear yourself when you speak? You think you're God’s gift to women.”
“You called me God multiple times when I made you come.” He gives a crooked grin.
My face heats up. “That’s not what we’re talking about. The decent thing to do after asking me to go to Vegas with you was to be there the next morning or at least have left me a note that had some explanation as to why you had to leave.” I shouldn’t care so much about how he left me.
His shoulders slump forward. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I’m…” he clears his throat, “sorry.” From the uncomfortable expression on his face, I’m assuming they’re words he doesn’t say often.
“Why did you?” I ask.
“I had my reasons.”
I tilt my head to the side, trying to figure out why he is such a closed book. Getting anything from him is like walking up a slippery slide wearing only socks. You make it a couple of steps, then slide back down, only to have to start again. The result? Nothing but frustration.
“Anything you want to share?” I ask in the hopes that he may open up.
When I think he’s not going to respond, I say goodbye and make to leave again. If he doesn’t want to talk, I’m not going to force it.
“It was because of you.” His words make me freeze.
I slowly turn. “Because of me? What did I do?”
He drops his head. “Even though you agreed to a one-time thing, I worried you might’ve wanted more.”
My forehead creases with confusion. “What made you assume I wanted more? I never said otherwise.” Did my actions give anything away?
When I told him I didn’t want a relationship, I meant it.
A terrible knot twists in my chest, like it’s trying to tell me I’m lying.
That I’ve been lying about my feelings for Kade from the start.
“You didn’t need to say anything. It was just a feeling I got.”
“A feeling? That’s it? We had sex, Kade. I didn’t profess my undying love for you. If you got any kind of feeling from that night, maybe it was your own.”
An expression of horror flashes across his face. At that, my heart sinks to my stomach. Without realizing it, I was holding onto some hope that maybe there was a little more than sex that night.
“I’ll admit, I had fun, but I didn’t tie any feelings to us having sex.
” His words hit a little too hard because the more we stand here talking about that night, the more I have to wonder if what I said—not wanting anything from him—is a lie.
Do I have feelings for him that go beyond anything physical?
My heart flutters against my ribs. No… no…
no. He’s the wrong man to fall for, but the right man to have fun with.
The man is gorgeous. It’s lust. That has to be all.
I’m feeling this way because he’s the most excitement I’ve ever had.
No one has awakened my body the way he has. I’m confusing lust for feelings.
“Okay, then, we’re on the same page. We had fun with no feelings.” I stop myself from giving him a thumbs up.
“Good,” he says.
“Good,” I repeat.
“As long as it’s only ‘fun’, what if we do it again?” he suggests.
I cock an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t have sex with the same woman more than once?”
“I think we’ve already passed my rule multiple times. Once more won’t hurt.”
Maybe not for him. For me? It might tip me over the edge of trying to keep my heart out of it.
But when he looks at me, like he’s mentally stripping me naked, how do I refuse?
I want as much of him as I can get for as long as I can get.
Because soon it’ll be over, and I’ll be back to my normal life, where men like Kade don’t exist.