Daisy Whispers (Return to Coal Haven #2)

Chapter 1

Daisy

Tonight wasn’t exactly a waste of a babysitter, but that was only because my mom was in town and she was watching my four-year-old daughter.

Sipping the pumpkin beer I’d been nursing all night, now lukewarm, I checked the time. Five more minutes and I would hit my socially acceptable amount of time spent at a pre-Thanksgiving Christmas party that was both fun and anxiety-inducing. The goal was to stay long enough that no one asked why I was leaving early.

My coworkers could be an adorable mix of clueless and nosy. They were chemists. They wanted definitive answers and would prod until they got one. While I was just as oblivious to some conversational nuances, I was extra sensitive to fielding too many questions. The urge to be fully transparent was too strong. TMI, thy name is Daisy .

I loved my coworkers. Really. We had a relaxed work environment in the petroleum lab of the refinery outside of Coal Haven. My boss, Raj, had brought the newest additions to his coin collection to show off. Two other guys I worked with were getting animated over the latest manga live-action show. The series sounded interesting, but since Laila was so young, if it didn’t have talking dogs and life lessons, we weren’t watching it.

My friend and coworker Violet Duke had taken off earlier. Lucky duck. She was quite pregnant. After getting pictures of her holding her baby belly with one arm and her other arm tossed over a barrel in the party room at the back of the local brewery outside of town, she ate some of the catered pulled pork, reminisced about how she met the love of her life in this very brewery, then called it a night. Said love of her life had picked her up, his eyes glowing with adoration and affection.

Gah.

I wanted that.

I’d had it once. Yet tonight, I was at the Christmas party as a single woman. A single mom.

I needed to find a new place.

Another check of my watch. Close enough.

I stood and stuffed my arms into my winter coat. The fabric rustled as I zipped it and wrapped a cream-and-purple scarf Violet crocheted me for Christmas around my neck and tucked the tails inside.

“You taking off?” Raj asked as he pored over his coin box, his fascination stamped into his expression as if he didn’t own the collection.

“Yep. See you all Monday.”

A chorus of “have a good night” and “have a good weekend” rang out. I waved and walked out of the party room. I steeled myself to enter the main bar I’d have to walk through to get to the exit. There weren’t a lot of people, but that initial discomfort of being noticed, of people looking my direction and having thoughts about me didn’t fade.

No one is paying attention to me. I’m not the center of their world. My mantra didn’t help, but it was so ingrained by now, I couldn’t not recite it.

I strode through, my sights on the heavy wooden door that looked more like it should be in a castle and not a restored train foundry and repair shop. There was a table of guys close to the exit. I focused on the door until the din around me grew quieter.

A man pushed away, and I glanced up. My stomach dropped. Damn.

Jason. My ex. He had a ball cap sitting low on his head and slightly askew. I used to fix it. He thought it was adorable while my annoyance was off the charts. Couldn’t he feel how off-centered it was? Why wouldn’t he fix it if he did?

His crooked hat was no longer my problem. A lot of the emotions my relationship with Jason incited were very much my problem, but none of them were his fault, which he failed to understand.

I dipped my head and kept going.

“Daisy.”

Shoot. I had almost made it to the exit. I stopped to face him. He tucked his hands into his jeans pockets. He wore his usual steel-toed work boots and the black T-shirt and flannel. Tonight’s choice was red and black.

“Hi, Jason.” The attention of his buddies, who were trying not to be obvious, prickled over my skin. Regardless that we were probably far enough away they couldn’t hear us, I hated being the center of attention. Just one of the many things Jason couldn’t understand. I gave him a tight smile. “Well, enjoy your night.”

I was turning to go, but he stepped forward.

“Daisy, wait.”

Crap. Did I sprint for the parking lot? Grit my teeth and smile through whatever he had to say, which was usually prodding me about what he’d done wrong? We were in public, and I refused to be a spectacle. “Yes?”

“Can we talk?”

My shoulders dropped. Not this again. I broke his heart. I had owned that, and we’d had some difficult conversations. At what point would that be over? When could he just let it be?

We’d had six years together. He was a good man. He loved our daughter, Laila. And as far as exes went, at least his attempts to talk after our split showed me he had cared. He hadn’t vanished from my life like our years together had meant nothing.

One of the ends of my scarf came loose. I tugged on it and let the stitches of the yarn run under my fingers. “What more is there to say?”

The rest of the guys at his table surreptitiously watched us. I glanced at them just as discreetly. We all failed at looking like we were minding our own business.

Jason’s hound-dog gaze intensified. “I know. I just…miss you. How’s Laila?”

He’d seen her a couple of weeks ago, but he probably missed her after getting to be with her almost every day. “She’s getting way too much candy from Mom.”

His smile was faint. “I’m sure she’s getting spoiled. Hey, uh, my mom called and was wondering if she could stay with them sometime over Christmas.”

Longing tugged at my heart. His parents lived in Minot, a little over two hours away. They’d take Laila and spoil her to the Nth degree, much like my mom. Only she’d have lots of little cousins to play with. Both of Jason’s parents would dote on her. A big, loving gathering full of good food and lively conversation. Jason’s family was one of those things I mulled over alone in bed at night. Were they one of the reasons I had stayed with him so long? The first being that we’d had a kid together. The second reason was doting parents who’d reminded me of another ex’s parents.

I shook the thought off. “Sure. Let me know when.”

Gratitude filled his eyes. “Great.” His brows drew together. “How are you?”

“Fine.”

He nodded, and I was tempted to take a step back, closer to the door.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking.” He scratched the scruff on his cheek. “I sealed the sink back in place and replaced the entry carpet. Maybe you wanted to take a look.”

I bit back a groan. He’d been such a sweet guy. He’d also been wasted on me. “Those minor repairs aren’t why I left.”

Despair rippled across his face. “Then why? I’ve tried working on myself. I’ve been lifting again.”

He’d had a few drinks, and he was getting melancholy. Still, I’d have to reassure him. Again. “It wasn’t your looks or your body, Jason. It’s not just a cliché when I say it’s not you, it’s me.”

“Daisy, I just miss you.”

I didn’t miss him. I missed the idea of him. The thought of having someone. I’d had that before, and I had the divorce papers to show for it. All I had realized was that it wasn’t Jason, and staying with him wouldn’t have been fair to either of us. “I’m sorry.”

He lifted his hat and ruffled his short brown hair. “I talked to my boss about other shifts.”

“It wasn’t your job,” I said with a sigh. Here we go.

“I could work less nights.”

“It wasn’t the nights.”

He furrowed his brow. “Where did I go wrong?”

“You are fine. You just weren’t fine for me .”

“We have a kid together,” he said stubbornly, as if Laila had been sent to Earth just to prove that Jason and I were soulmates, and that I hadn’t puked up an entire week’s worth of birth control pills when I’d gotten salmonella from a catering-gone-wrong wedding reception.

“Laila is perfect. And you’ll be the perfect guy for someone else.” I took that much-needed step toward the exit. My back was to the door, but the waft of cold air from someone who’d opened it caressed my legs.

Jason ignored the newcomer. “Was it the bedroom?” he asked, not as under his breath as he probably thought. How many beers had he had?

“No.” We’d been over this. Jason was insecure about his bedroom performance, and my main goal had been to weather this breakup without denting his self-esteem more.

“I’ve watched some movies.”

A sigh gusted out of me. “Porn isn’t the answer.” Please stop . Whoever had just entered was getting an earful.

“No. YouTube videos. How-to ones.”

I was ready to dart for the parking lot. My skin was growing too tight, and people were watching. “Jason, that wasn’t it.”

He held his arms out at his sides. “Then what? Was it the orgasms? I can do better.”

Frustration banged around in my head. “No.”

“I know I struggled getting you off, but?—”

“Jason, dammit. It wasn’t the orgasms. Or the sex. Or anything about the bedroom. I told you, it’s not you. I mean, I divorced a man who could get me off three times a night.”

“That’s true,” an all too familiar, and supremely pleasing, deep voice said from behind me. “She dropped me like a burnt potato. Even though a few times, we got to four times a night. Didn’t we, Daisy?”

Horror swamped me, squeezing my lungs together. Why couldn’t I work with a bunch of physicists who could time travel me back ten minutes? I’d wait to leave. I’d give Jason a wave and charge out the door. I’d have been gone before the man behind me had arrived.

I squeezed my eyes shut. This was not happening. I didn’t just belt out that personal of a detail and do it in front of him .

I spun slowly on the heel of my winter boot.

Yes. In fact, I had.

Because the person who had entered the brewery, who had caught the tail end of what should’ve been a private conversation with Jason, was a blast from the past, dressed in black slacks and a long wool coat that swirled around him like a cape. A man with neatly combed hair the color of strong coffee and touched with a few strands of gray at the temples. His flashing hazel eyes were painfully familiar. So was the humor in them. My heart wanted to wrench out of my chest and throw itself at the tips of his shiny black loafers.

Alder Duke. My ex-husband.

Alder

The gradual widening of Daisy’s pale blue eyes inspired a slow grin to spread across my face. After years of avoiding her, of trying not to think about the woman who’d had the audacity to call me on my bullshit and leave, she was here, spouting details of what had once been an enthusiastic sex life.

Her pink lips parted and a squeak came out of her, like her vocal cords had failed.

I drank her in, along with the glimpse of deep emotion in her eyes. It’d be gone soon enough, and she’d return to the guarded, almost aloof, girl I had known and fallen in love with during our freshman year. “Hi, Daisy.”

She snapped her mouth shut. An awkward beat of silence passed. The man behind her frowned, and his gaze jumped from her to me and back.

“Who is this guy?” he asked.

Daisy jolted like his words were pure voltage. “Oh, uh. Jason, this is Alder. My ex-husband.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said but stayed put. A handshake might escalate whatever had been going on here.

Jason took in my suit, the wool coat that I preferred on cold blustery nights like tonight, and probably recalling what I had said, he shrank right in front of me. “This is the ex-husband?”

She nodded, her gaze skating away and then right back. And away again.

Even after so long, I recognized the signs. A table full of burly guys in work clothing was gawking at us. A few other patrons were openly staring. Even the two bartenders were monitoring the situation.

Jason didn’t seem like a fighter. He hunched like Daisy had beaten him down before I arrived and kicked him for good measure.

This was her fiancé? Yet his pleading tone with the talk of sex snaked through my memory. He’d sounded desperate. Hopeless, while also being hopeful.

A thrill washed cold through my veins. I recognized his special brand of heartache. He was now an ex too. Getting left by Daisy wasn’t an easy event to endure. Dare I say, it’d been life-changing.

Did that mean Daisy was single?

She was shifting from foot to foot, her knuckles white as she gripped the ends of a scarf that matched her winter coat. Light purple had always looked good on her, but not as stunning as yellow. Just like her name.

I wiped those thoughts from my mind. Daisy was uncomfortable. She likely wanted to crawl into a corner and die. She’d relive this public exposure during future nights when she was trying to sleep.

“Were you just heading out?” I asked her.

She nodded and skirted around me. “Let me know about Christmas with Laila,” she tossed back to Jason.

His expression stayed crestfallen. “Yeah,” he said hoarsely. “Night, Daisy.”

I gave him a tight smile and followed her out. I didn’t care if he or anyone else thought I was chasing her. The two things I did know were that I couldn’t enjoy a beer wondering about the years Jason had gotten with her. Nor could I let Daisy go when she was distraught.

To the outsider, she’d look fine if a little embarrassed, but she was seething with feeling. I couldn’t just let her drive off.

She walked fast for being a short woman. Her boots crunched on the ice of the parking lot as she scurried to an obnoxiously yellow pickup.

“Where’s the Bug?” I called as I trotted and skated to keep up with her.

She stiffened and looked over her shoulder. “What?”

“Your VW Bug?”

She stopped. Her breath puffed out in a cloud of condensation. “I haven’t had that car in years.”

The vast distance of time landed hard between us. Fifteen years. Not quite a lifetime, but it might as well be. “Right.”

She started walking again.

I didn’t. “How are you?”

She stopped.

“What happened in there,” I said, “it had to be uncomfortable and that’s only what I caught.”

She yanked her gloves out of her pockets. “It sure was awkward, yes.”

“Can we go somewhere? And talk?” I closed the distance between us. The faint sound of engines on the highway that ran past the brewery was the only noise on a cold night. “Just to catch up? It’s been a long time,” I said softly.

When she finally met my gaze, my lungs froze. I’d never seen that level of uncertainty in her eyes. Even when she’d laid down an ultimatum I’d ignored, then followed through with it, there’d only been steely resolve.

“I don’t…” She sighed and looked around, those big blue eyes of hers searching for a reason. To accept or refuse? “Yeah. Why not?”

I repressed my grin. This wouldn’t be a happy reunion. She’d been through the wringer before I arrived, and once I did I’d practically jump-scared her like a ghost in a haunted house. Her determination was weakened and perhaps that was why she agreed to catch up. Years of avoiding each other had worn on me. Was it the same for her? “Great. Is there somewhere that’s open? Or your place?”

She shook her head, her chin-length blonde hair flying. “Not my place. No.” I was about to be insulted when she weakly gestured to the brewery looming over us in its stony glory. “The house was Jason’s, and the place I’m renting got sold. I’m moving again. Boxes everywhere.” She stuffed her fingers into her gray-and-yellow gloves. “There’s a bar downtown, but I’d rather not get stared at all night.”

“How about my pickup? It’s still warm.”

Her lips pursed as she thought about it. Small space. Me and her. We’d gotten up to more than talking in my vehicles before. Tonight, I just wanted to talk. To make sure she was okay. To soak in being in her orbit again. Would she want the same?

“All right,” she said, resigned.

Yes . I hit the button to start my vehicle. A row over, the engine roared to life and the parking lights turned on.

She lifted her brows when she saw my ride. Yes, it had cost nearly six figures, but unlike her, I didn’t have kids. Or a spouse. I didn’t even have a partner. Most of my money was invested, and the rest had gone into an expensive pickup.

I led her toward it and opened the passenger door. She climbed in, her coat crinkling from the cold, and I went around to the driver’s side. By the time I got behind the wheel, her lemon-vanilla scent filled the cab. My eyelids nearly drifted shut while I took a long inhale. Crisp and sweet.

I adjusted the heating vents. “How’ve you been?”

She snorted and yanked off her gloves. “You witnessed it. Along with half of Coal Haven.”

“That wasn’t half of Coal Haven. Only about a third.”

Her laugh was soft, but her expression remained sad. “What are you doing here, Alder?”

“I had a meeting today.” I’d come for a beer and to figure out how I could move back to a community where Daisy lived a life independent of me. “A final interview at the refinery, more of a hammering out of the final expectations on both sides.”

She nodded, then frowned. Her forehead developed the most adorable furrow. “You’re leaving King Oil?”

“Yes. I met with them to nail out the specifics, but I got the CEO position at the refinery.” It was as far out of Coal Haven as the brewery. A tiny city in its own right, its lights were a dull glow on the horizon.

Alarm flamed through her eyes. “You’re my boss?”

Thanks to my sister Violet, I knew she worked in the lab at the refinery. “Not directly.”