CHAPTER 10 #2
A new wave of panic starts to crawl up my throat, but when Damián’s hands slide around the nape of my neck and his fingers tangle in my hair, gripping tight, the sudden, sharp sting and the raw, desperate eagerness in his hold give me the confidence I need, chasing away the fear right out of my brain, leaving only the burning need to go for it.
I look up into his eyes for one second, lean forward, and take him into my mouth.
A moan escapes my lips.
His warmth, the taste, the insane thrill it gives me to have this man entirely at my mercy. I use my tongue, trying my best to mimic the rhythm of my hand and take him as deep as I can.
And apparently it’s working, because Damián loses his mind. His hands tangle in my hair, his hips bucking upward to meet my mouth, and he talks in Spanish, words I can’t even understand as his control completely shatters.
“Ollie… nene, no puedo—” he gasps, and his fingers grip my hair tighter. “Así… I’m so close.”
He thrusts deep, his back curving off the glass, and then he tries to move away from my mouth, but I hold him tight, keeping him exactly where he is.
Damián cries out my name as he cums into my mouth. I swallow, holding him there, letting him ride out the intense high as the shower washes over us.
And I almost choke…
A few seconds later, Damián lifts me, turns off the shower, and wraps me in a towel.
“Dami—”
“Quiet, nene,” he says, and carries me to the bed.
I watch, completely mesmerized, as he dries off with a fresh towel before crawling onto the mattress with me. And right here, in my bed, a place I have never shared with anyone in my entire life, the most beautiful man I have ever seen uses his mouth to take care of me.
And just when I thought the day couldn’t get any better, there came the most surprising twist of all. Once we were finished, he pulled me against him, wrapped his arms around me from behind, and cuddled me.
The next morning I wake up to the sensation of something crushing my chest. With my eyes still closed, I try to move, but my body stays pinned to the bed.
What the…?
I rub my eyes, blinking against the dawning light, only to find myself curled under the sexiest tan body in the world.
Damián’s arm is thrown around my chest, his hand with the Harknett tattoo gripping my waist. And I can’t believe it takes my dumb, recently woken brain more than five seconds to realize that neither of us is wearing clothes.
Then, the memories of last night hit me…
Damián pinning me against the bathroom door, his naked body in the shower, me on my knees taking him in my mouth, him on my bed…
Oh, my God. I actually did that!
I actually did all that with Damián…
Ahhhh! OMG!
I’m so giddy and full of adrenaline that my entire body feels like jumping, but I force my muscles to lock the hell up, refusing to move a single inch.
No, no…
There is no way I’m moving or even breathing too deeply, because I’m terrified that the slightest motion will wake Damián up and break this beautiful moment I’m living in.
Because lying here, completely naked and tangled in his arms with nothing around but peaceful silence… It feels absolutely perfect.
But, because life hates me… I sneeze.
My body shifts slightly on the mattress, and instantly, the arm draped over my waist tightens. Damián rolls onto his back, pulling me over his chest.
“Whoa!” I gasp, placing my palm over his chest to hold my balance.
Damián opens his eyes, sees me, and smiles… and for a moment, I feel safe and think everything will be perfect.
That is, until a few seconds later, when his entire body goes rigid.
“Shit,” he curses.
Hello reality, goodbye beautiful dream.
Damián rolls to his side, letting go of me as he moves to the edge of the bed. He sits up and scrubs his hands over his face.
“Fuck. I fell asleep…”
“We kinda both did…” I say, trying to lighten the mood, but it doesn’t work.
“Fuck!” Damián stands up, and within seconds, he is already scanning the floor and gathering his clothes.
And that’s when I see something on his face I’ve never seen before: panic.
Ouch…
Was waking up next to me really this bad?
It’s not like I’m a client or that he’s taken… Why is he so bothered by it?
“Damián…” I call, but he doesn’t look at me.
I stay in bed, watching him scramble around, and something tells me this is probably exactly what he does every time he wakes up next to a hookup he’s done with, and that makes me feel… empty.
“Carajo… así o más pendejo estás, Damián…” he mumbles to himself and takes a deep sigh. “…I fucked up…”
Double ouch…
My heart breaks at the words “fucked up” in a way I never thought would be possible. How can someone be the happiest they’ve ever been only to be miserable two seconds later?
I pull the sheets up, covering my naked body, because being alone in this bed is making me feel completely exposed and hurt.
But all Damián does is fix his clothes and apply makeup to his Harknett tattoo, looking at the door, the windows, everywhere but at me.
“Fuck…” he mutters, annoyed.
Ahhh… that word again…
I feel rejected, unwanted, and used.
Because apparently, even if he’s so damn special to me… for him I’m just someone he fucked-up with…
He bends over to pick up his shoes near the nightstand, and my heart completely stops. Tucked neatly beneath the edge of the nightstand is my small silver tray covered in dusted white powder, next to a small, half-empty bag of cocaine.
Please don’t see it… Please don’t see it.
I really don’t have the mental capacity to explain all this shit to him, and I don’t want him to think I am a fuck-up and a drug addict.
Luckily, he grabs his shoes without looking under the table and sits on my couch to put them on.
“Fuck… I fucked up.”
Okay, now I’m just pissed.
“Oh, God, Damián, just shut up!” I snap.
He finally looks up at me, and the panic is still there in his eyes… If anything, it’s actually worse.
“I get it. What we did last night was a mistake,” I say, throwing the covers off. I get out of bed, grab a pair of underwear, and shove them on. “Can we just move the fuck on now?”
“No, Ollie, listen—”
“No, you listen. I don’t know if this—” I gesture at him “—is how you freak out every morning after you have sex, but you seriously need to stop it. It is one hundred percent unnecessary.”
“You don’t understand. What we did—”
“I understand plenty, Damián.” I close the distance between us, stopping right in front of him. “I get that this isn’t real. We’re only here because of a fucking job, and we both got horny. So please stop saying you fucked up.”
“No, you don’t get it. This has never happened.”
“Of course it hasn’t… this is my first assignment,” I hiss, fighting with everything I have to keep from crying.
“This isn’t about the assignment!”
“Then it’s personal? Wow, that’s sooo much better.”
“Oliver! Shut up and let me explain.”
And I should. I know I should let him say his piece and deal with whatever freak-out he’s going through.
But it took me almost thirty years to finally like someone enough to open up to them, and now, the very first time I feel like I might actually have something beautiful in my life, it gets called a mistake the morning after?
No. I can’t. I don’t think I can handle this.
Not right now.
“No. I don’t want to hear it.” I shake my head. “I’m sorry if we fucked up and made a mistake or whatever. I never should have started… that.”
Damián grabs my shoulders, his grip tight. “Why are you so fucking stub—”
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Damián and I both freeze and stare at the door.
“Who is it?” I ask, hoping whoever it is doesn’t come inside.
“Master Oliver?” Martin’s voice comes from outside the bedroom door. “Your father and the rest of the family are expecting you and your guest at the breakfast table.”
Fuck… looks like this day will only get worse.
“We’ll be right down, Martin! Thank you!” I call out, sounding completely normal when in reality, I’m freaking the hell out.
I turn back to Damián, and regardless of how I feel or if he regrets it or not, going to meet my father can be incredibly dangerous.
Especially without a damn plan.
Crap… I really shouldn’t have invited him… this is all my fault.
But like everything with my life, I can’t afford to let how I feel get in the way of what I have to do. So I take a deep breath, calm down, start dressing up, and get my shit together.
“Hey, look at me,” I say, stepping into his line of sight. “My father is going to test you; he tests everyone. Do not show weakness, and do not ever give him an inch.”
Damián nods, slipping his arms into a black shirt.