CHAPTER 11 #3
“Okay, so it really is you, and not just someone who sounds like you,” Leif says, with a serious face that switches immediately after seeing our surroundings. “Oh, you’re on a B&E! That’s so cool. Are you in the server room yet?”
“Bjorn is currently trying to get the door open.”
CLICK!
“Bjorn the Intelligent has opened the door,” he announces, pushing it wide.
“Good job,” I pat his arm as we come inside.
“Right. So, about this call…” Leif continues. “You’re saying that you actually like someone? Dami… Are you being threatened?”
“Yes, I like him. No, I’m not being threatened.”
“Is this a bet?”
“No.”
“Are you dying?”
“What? No, Leif.” I open my awesome unicorn fanny pack, take out a USB with a program Alexios created and connect it to one of the main servers. “I’m also not drunk or hallucinating.”
“Okay. So you are saying… this is real… you like someone.”
“Like?” I laugh. “I might be falling for him.”
Leif hyperventilates with absolute excitement, and Bjorn bursts out laughing.
“A mini drug lord-sociopath! Great choice for a first love, man. Really keeping us on our toes.”
“He’s not a sociopath, asshole!” I glare at the Viking man.
“Aww! Did you see that, Bjorn? He’s already defending him.”
“Tease me all you want, Leif, but just help me with a problem.”
“Fine, but I have two conditions. One, I get to be there when you tell the rest of the team… And two, if you want my advice, no matter what I say, you will not call it cheesy or lame.”
Ahhh… that means it’s definitely going to be cheesy.
And probably lame.
“I promise,” I grumble.
On the screen, Leif props his phone up on a table and sits on his couch. “Okay, what’s happening?”
“Long story short: he’s incredible. He’s so much fun to be around, and at first, it was all just fun and work.
But after over a month of pretending, the fake dates became the highlight of my week.
Kissing him is indescribable, the fake touches became real, and I realized I wanted more.
” I sigh and check that Alexios’s program is downloading into the server.
“So I started touching him more and even asked him to be exclusive.”
“So are you officially dating now, or…?” Leif asks.
“No. He thinks we’re exclusive for the mission. Not because I don’t want anyone else touching him.”
“Because you don’t want anyone else touching him, huh?” Bjorn grins. “Wow, Dating-Damián is so possessive.” He elbows me, and I glare at him. “Hey, no hate! I think that’s hot.”
“Very hot,” Leif agrees.
“You hate it when your hook-ups do it, Bjorn.”
“No, no. There is an immense difference between a crazy, clingy, obsessed person who wants drama and a possessive man who wants to shove you against a wall and fuck your brains out.”
He says it so bluntly that, for the love of Dios, I blush.
“Well, well…” Bjorn smiles teasingly. “I see someone has pushed the hot mini drug lord against the wall and fucked his brains out.”
“Yes to the wall, no to the fuck.”
“Right…” He nods and winks at me.
“I’m serious, we haven’t had sex.”
“You haven’t?!” asks Leif, surprised.
“This is a mission, Leif, not a dating app,” I say, and they both look at me like, really? “Okay, I don’t know… We’ve been taking it slow.”
Bjorn bursts out laughing. “I’m sorry, I just think the irony is just… wow. You’ve spent your entire life seeking relationships based on sex and running away from anyone who wants feelings, and now the relationship you’re fighting to keep has nothing to do with sex and is all about feelings.”
“Ugh… when you put it like that.” I groan because Bjorn is right.
The fucking irony is almost comical.
“And what’s the problem?” Leif asks after getting a cold coffee from the fridge and coming back to his couch. “It sounds like you are doing great.”
“And we were, until I fucked up…”
“He really did,” Bjorn nods beside me.
“We had oral for the first time, and he looked incredible. I felt so comfortable that I just cuddled him and fell asleep.” I glare at Leif. “Which is entirely your fault, by the way. You’re the one who told me that cuddling after an orgasm binds the soul.”
“You were trying to bind his soul? Kinky.”
“Not the fucking point, Bjorn.” I turn back to the screen.
“It was the first time I’ve ever spent the night with someone.
Between that and the fact that I wasn’t prepared, and knowing it could’ve completely fucked up the mission, I panicked.
I jumped up, started getting dressed like a crazy person, and blurted out that I fucked up. He took it—”
“As if you meant being with him was the screw-up.” Leif guesses perfectly, and I nod. “Did you try to explain?”
“I didn’t get the chance. He got incredibly defensive.” I check the computer and see the USB is now extracting information.
Good.
“He probably thought you were just blowing him off. He’s definitely not used to his hookups doing that.”
“Maybe… but this felt more personal, like this hit him like an intense rejection and not just a bruised ego. He’s not even answering my texts.”
“Then give him space, and when you meet again, you explain all this.”
“And?” I ask, hoping to hear the magical part where Leif will explain to me how to fix the unfixable.
“And that’s it,” he says, and I am dumbfounded.
“You’re fucking kidding.”
“I’m not kidding, Dami. Just communicate your feelings, tell him you were scared, and then push him against another wall if you want.”
“That sounds… a little too easy,” I mumble.
“Relationships are easier than most people make them out to be. You just need empathy, patience, and communication.”
“Okay, I admit that was way simpler than what I thought,” says Bjorn, and I nod in agreement.
“Same.”
And then my brain decides this is the perfect moment to unlock a new fear.
Fuck… “But… even if we fix things and go back to touching each other, or even just having sex… Oliver sleeps with everyone,” I say, and just saying the words ties my stomach into knots.
“Even if being with him changed me and made me want more, it’s pretty much impossible that he went through the same change I did. ”
Bjorn pats my back. “Improbable, maybe. But never impossible.”
“Please stop,” I laugh, feeling, for the first time since I left Oliver’s place, as if everything might be okay. “It always freaks me out when you sound mature and deep.”
“That’s what Mor always says,” Leif laughs and Bjorn flips him the bird.
“Hey, no fighting. The download is done.” I remove the USB and pass it to Bjorn. “Anything else we need from here?” I ask him.
“Nope, but speaking of maturing…”
“Logan?” I groan, and Bjorn nods. “How much info do you want me to share with him?”
“Tell him everything. Just keep the Hallmark feelings and the dating talk to yourselves. Oh, and give this to Alexios.” I open my fanny pack and pull out the lipstick USB Oliver gave me. “Tell him the info we need is on the entire list.”
“The entire associates and shell companies list?” Bjorn asks, taking it. I nod. “Wow, not-so-fake boyfriend knows how to work fast.”
“Yes, he does.” I can’t help but smile.
“Aww, are you proud of your not-so-fake boyfriend?” Leif bats his eyelashes at the camera.
“Okay, enough. We gotta leave before the guards notice someone was ever inside here.”