Five
Five
The more time passes, the more I lose hope.
Finding a place to live in this city seems to have become an impossible task.
Four days have passed. Four days of exhausting research, and still I find myself staying at the Baker royal palace—a less than ideal situation.
Tiffany was right; her father is loading her up with all the pressure that, up until a few weeks ago, was on Travis’s shoulders.
And just as I feared, it doesn’t feel like her parents are thrilled about my presence at this particular moment.
Alex offered to let me stay with him as soon as I told him about the situation.
It’s not that the idea of moving in with him doesn’t appeal to me, but I’m determined to figure out something by myself.
I can’t continue to be a burden on my friends.
And I refuse to step foot back in Thomas’s dorm.
As lovely as it was spending the night with him, I have no desire to relive that awkward wake-up courtesy of Larry.
I struggle to put aside my familial and rental problems to concentrate on my reading group’s discussion, just like I do every other Saturday morning.
The novel we’ve chosen for this month is The Scarlet Letter .
A junior named Kate is reading a crucial passage: “‘No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.’”
The phone in my pocket vibrates, alerting me to a new text.
Where are you?
I grin; it’s from Thomas, or, as I’ve dubbed him, the Grinch.
I was going to save his number in my contacts under his actual name, but then I thought better of it.
I needed something different, something that represented him completely.
Something like Miscreant or Arrogant Broodster .
Then I had an epiphany: the Grinch! Surly and bad-tempered to anyone who tries to get close—the perfect nickname for Thomas.
At reading group , I answer.
Do you have much longer?
I look at the clock, which reads 11:37. Twenty minutes, tops.
Can you leave early? Like, say…now?
I shift in my seat, curious. What’s wrong, Collins? You missing me?
Come to the fifth-floor staff bathroom. I’ll meet you there.
I smother a smile. Students aren’t allowed in that bathroom.
Right you are. I can almost see the cheeky smile spreading across his face, delighted with his own response.
So why do you want me to come there?
I want to show you something.
Something?
I waited with bated breath until his answer comes a minute later: The sink.
Huh?
I want to show you how good you’d look bent over it… he adds.
A powerful blush spreads across my face, and I almost drop my phone. I clear my throat, looking around to make sure no one noticed my intense reaction.
I stare, wide-eyed, as the three little dots disappear and reappear on the screen before a new message comes in: …and make you feel just how much I’ve missed having you underneath me, being inside you…
I know I’ve turned entirely red. My hands are tingling, and my heart is pounding.
Is he serious? Am I? Do I really want to ditch reading group for a quickie with Thomas in the staff bathroom?
Jesus, the burst of arousal that moves through forces me to clench my thighs together as I try to get just a tiny bit of relief from the intense need that his proposition has kindled in me.
Well, my body’s answer is a loud and clear YES .
And it’s insane because the Vanessa of a few months ago would never have put a boy ahead of her studies or allowed him to distract her from her precious books.
I take a few deep, calming breaths before replying. I’ll let you in on a secret: I’ve always been fascinated by bathroom fixtures.
It’s marked as read immediately, and he responds within seconds with Good girl. I bite my lip, lock the screen, and stick the phone back in my pocket. Then I stand up, feeling my knees tremble as I do.
“Sorry, Kate,” I break in, interrupting her reading (which I long ago stopped paying attention to). “I’m not feeling so good; I think my blood pressure is low. I’m just going to go get some air.”
I can feel each of the book club members looking attentively at me.
“No problem, Vanessa, go ahead. We’ll update you later on the group.”
I nod, and as a trickle of sweat makes it way down the side of my face, I hastily gather my things.
In seconds, I’m out of the classroom and headed for the staircase that will take me to the fifth floor, and still I can’t entirely believe that I’m really doing this.
But then, as I turn the corner and prepare to climb the first step, I run into Alex.
“Hey, don’t you have reading group?” he says, grabbing my arm to keep me from stumbling.
“Y-yeah,” I stammer, caught red-handed. “I’m just…not feeling well today.”
“You’re sick?” He immediately puts the back of his hand against my forehead to check my temperature. After apparently establishing that it’s within the norm, he takes my books out of my arms, freeing me from that small burden.
“Don’t worry, I’m okay. I just needed some air,” I babble hastily, hoping to sound at least a little credible.
Lying to a group of fellow students is one thing; lying to my best friend is different.
He knows me so well that it would take him about three seconds to figure out I’m not telling the truth.
Fortunately for me, he doesn’t seem interested in analyzing my facial expressions or doubting what I’m telling him.
“You’re better now?” he asks me. As I nod, I feel my phone vibrate in my bag. I start and then dig the phone out, unlocking the screen to see a new message from Thomas: On my second cigarette now; don’t make me light a third. What happened to you, stranger?
My lower stomach tenses as I quickly tap out a reply assuring him that I’m on my way.
“Well, if you’re not doing anything else, let me take you to lunch,” Alex puts his arm around my shoulders and starts guiding me toward the canteen. “I’m awfully hungry, and I want to ask you for a favor.”
I hesitate, then eke out a small: “Right now?”
He cocks his head, confused, and looks at me. “Do you have another commitment?”
Well, sort of… Can the promise of getting bent over the sink in the staff bathroom be termed a commitment ?
I rub my eyebrow with my thumb and say, “No, I suppose not.”
Resigned, I text Thomas and let him know that I’ve encountered an unexpected situation. Then, with a tense smile, I force myself to follow Alex.
The scent of boiled cauliflower and floor cleaner in the cafeteria makes my nose wrinkle in disgust. Why can’t they ever make an edible meal instead of this vomit-inducing swill? On the plus side, the cafeteria is half empty, so we don’t have to wait in line.
“So what’s this favor?” I ask.
“In a little over a month, it’ll be Christmas and Stella’s birthday,” Alex explains after we load our trays with macaroni and cheese and sit down at one of the tables near the windows overlooking the lawn. “I want to surprise her.”
“I love surprises! What kind?” I inquire.
“I haven’t decided, which is why I need your help. I want something unforgettable.”
“Alex.” I look tenderly at him, moved by his sweetness. “I’m more than happy to help you, but I’m sure that, whatever you do, she’ll be happy.”
“I hope so,” he answers, emptying a can of Coke into his glass and letting it foam. “Either way, I was thinking about a trip.”
I look at him, wondering why he needs my advice. “That’s a great idea; I wish someone would surprise me like that.”
“Do you think it’s too much? After all, we’ve only really known each other for a few months.”
I hurriedly shake my head. “Not at all. In fact, I think it’s a great way for you two to get to know each other better. Do you have a destination in mind?”
“No, that’s where you come in. My first thought was Paris, but then I thought maybe that’s too much of a cliché, so then I considered Aspen or New York.”
“First of all, Paris is never a cliché, but flying to Europe would be a lot,” I tell him, digging my fork into the macaroni.
“Aspen has its own special charm, with all those wood chalets and everything. I gotta say, though, that the Christmas tree lighting at Rockefeller Center has always seemed like a really magical experience to me. I’ve always wanted to go skating on that giant ice rink, framed by all those enchanting lights,” I continue dreamily.
We finish lunch, evaluating the different potential destinations, and in the end, Alex takes my advice and decides that New York is the place for them.
When the cafeteria starts to get crowded, a few of his friends from his photography class invite him to sit with them.
He turns to me as though he’s going to ask my permission.
Since I don’t require a babysitter, I smile at him and shoo him away with a friendly shove.
I follow him with my eyes until, through the cafeteria window, I spot Thomas outside on the lawn.
He’s leaning against the trunk of a tree, one knee propped up, concentrating on smoking a cigarette with a copper-haired girl.
I feel a small trembling in my chest. That’s not his sister. It’s not even Shana. So who is she?
The girl hands him a flyer, smiling and resting her hand on his arm longer than necessary as she tells him something. I stiffen immediately as a burst of jealousy spikes in my chest.
A sick thought bubbles up in my mind: Is this someone he replaced me with when I stood him up in the staff bathroom?
Thomas drops his gaze to her hand. He looks almost annoyed but does absolutely nothing to distance himself from her.
God, I’m such an idiot. Did I really sacrifice my reading group time just so I could be present for… this ?
Dammit, Thomas.