Five #3
Ever since everything happened with Logan, Thomas has been more evasive than usual. I get the feeling he’s hiding something from me, and I’m not sure I want to know what it is. All I know is that there’s no point in pushing with interrogations and demands; Thomas won’t talk about it.
“I’ll wait,” I confirm, smiling faintly because what else can I really do? He gives my thigh another squeeze and then walks away with his friends. Blake doesn’t even bother saying goodbye. Dick.
In contrast, Vince gives me his second wink of the day and snickers at the look of annoyance on Thomas face. I think I understand his game now: He’s not actually hitting on me; he just likes winding Thomas up.
“Hey, who were those guys?” Alex asks me, returning to the table with an empty tray.
“Thomas’s friends,” I answer, walking with him to return our lunch trays. A few feet ahead, we spot Tiffany, focused on loading her own tray with chicken and a salad, so we beeline for her.
“Have you had lunch already?” she asks, selecting a bottle of water.
Alex and I both nod. Then I check the time on my phone and see that it’s half past one. “I’m waiting for Thomas to come back so I can go check out some apartments,” I say.
“Really?” says Alex. “I’d like to come along, if that’s not a problem. As your friend, I have a moral obligation to make sure that you at least choose a safe place to live.”
“Don’t you have more classes today?” I ask.
“I’ve got a global warming seminar at five, but I’m free until then.”
“That’s perfect, then.”
“I would come too, but I have film club after lunch. Today we’re watching a new true-crime documentary, and I can’t miss it.
But keep me updated. Send pics, okay?” Tiffany adds as we walk her to a free table to keep her company.
“By the way, were you able to talk to the financial aid office about a loan?”
I nod. “I had a meeting with them this morning. It looks like a loan is my only solution right now.”
“Welcome to America, ladies and gentlemen, where money buys every privilege, but if you’re poor, you’re screwed.
” Tiffany exclaims angrily to Alex’s nodding agreement.
I’d like to point out that both of them are far closer to the first category than to the second, but we are interrupted by the sudden appearance of Leila.
“Hey, folks! Do you like snakes?” is what she opens with, sitting down next to us. “There’s an exhibition at the Corvallis Museum next Monday, and they have a discount for OSU students,” she explains, handing each of us a flyer.
“Blech, no, God forbid,” Tiffany says with a repulsed grimace on her face. “All those scales, the forked tongues, and the way they slither all over everything…” She shudders and squeezes her eyes shut. “God, it’s disgusting. It’s like I can feel them on me!”
Alex and I, however, politely thank Leila for the flyers. This would be a good opportunity to better introduce her to my two best friends. The first—and last—time they met, we were surrounded by the chaos of the basketball game.
“Hey, Leila, do you remember my friends?” I ask her. “Alex and Tiffany?”
“Yeah, of course. You’re the photographer guy, right?” she asks, pointing at Alex. “You took a ton of pictures at the last game.”
“Yep, that’s me,” Alex says, shaking her hand with that easy way he has of making people feel comfortable.
He and Leila continue to chat about photography, also drawing Tiffany into the conversation, until Thomas appears in the cafeteria door.
With an unlit cigarette waiting between his lips, he props the door open with one foot.
He acknowledges his sister from across the room and invites me outside with a jerk of his head.
“He’s here. I’ll let you know how the appointments go.
Later!” I tell Leila and Tiffany, before heading off with Alex in tow.
When Thomas notices his presence, his jaw immediately clenches, and he crosses his arms over his chest. I’m willing to bet that the next words out of his mouth will be something like, He’s not getting in my car.
So I pick up my pace to get to the exit before Alex.
I launch myself at Thomas and manage to silence him by throwing my arms around his neck and covering his mouth with a kiss that clearly takes him by surprise.
“Please be nice to him?” I murmur.
Thomas jerks his head in annoyance but still doesn’t take his lips off of mine. He pushes my mouth open with his tongue, kissing me deeper. He runs a hand over my butt before squeezing it hard, causing an explosion in my body. Under my clothes, every inch of my skin is burning.
Behind us, Alex clears his throat, and I instantly come back to earth. Embarrassed, I detach Thomas’s hand. “We’re not alone,” I say into his mouth. I lower myself back onto my heels and press my hands to his chest to put him at a safe distance.
He looks from Alex to me; then he wraps a possessive arm around me and pulls me back to him, as though trying to establish the boundaries of his territory.
“If I want to touch you, I’ll touch you,” he tells me, soft but firm.
“And if your little friend doesn’t like it, he can leave.
This is the second time today he’s cockblocked me when all I want is to be alone with you. ”
“Uh…how about I wait in the parking lot for you two?” Alex breaks in, clearly uncomfortable.
“Stop calling him my little friend; it’s demeaning,” I murmur, disheartened, as I watch Alex walk away to leave us alone.
“He’s my friend, my best friend. We’re a package deal.
So I would really like you to make an effort to get along with him or least to accept our bond.
” I plead with my eyes, and Thomas gives me an indulgent look.
I smile gratefully at him, and the three of us walk to the car and leave.
***
I didn’t have any great hopes for the apartments I was seeing, but reality somehow undershot my expectations. The visits were all complete disasters.
The first place was a good price, but it was a house share with bunch of musicians—punk musicians—who may or may not have been high on something, considering that in the twenty minutes we spent with them, none of them was able to put together a single meaningful sentence.
The second place was also shared, with a guy, a detail which had not been specified in the ad.
Thomas’s answer, before I even had time to formulate one of my own, was unequivocal: “Not a chance.” He grabbed my wrist and dragged me out to a soundtrack of Alex’s soft laughter.
The studio near campus, on the other hand, was really nice. The common areas were well cared for, the internal walls were red brick, and the layout was sensible. But it was too expensive.
So here we are, back on campus again, dropping off Alex for his last class of the day.
I’m dying to take a shower before work, and Thomas offered to let me use his bathroom at the frat house.
He didn’t have to ask me twice. I like occupying his space even when he’s not in it. It gives me a feeling of familiarity.
We park in the space reserved for students and climb out of the car. Thomas locks the doors and then hands me his room key. “Please actually lock the door this time,” he teases.
I take the key and roll my eyes. “That was just an oversight, sweetie,” I say, dragging a smile out of him. Though, honestly, I almost die of shame every time I think about how Finn saw me half naked in Matt’s room.
With one sudden movement, Thomas sweeps me up off the ground and sets me on the hood of his car. He positions himself between my legs and rests his palms on either side of my hips, on the still-warm chassis.
“An oversight we don’t wanna make again,” he says, rubbing his nose against mine. I can feel his warm breath against my lips as I wrap my arms around his middle.
“Worried someone else might see me in my underwear?” I tease in a whisper, letting my gaze fall first to his Adam’s apple, covered in ink, and then to the breadth of his shoulders in his black sweatshirt.
“If that were to happen…” he warns, bringing his mouth to my neck, just below my ear.
He kisses me softly there, teasing the sensitive skin.
I shiver and press my eyes closed, savoring the jolt of electricity that courses through my body.
“I couldn’t be held accountable for my actions,” he continues, his voice raspy, his hands sliding around to the back of my pants.
He squeezes my butt and pulls me harder against his hips, all while continuing to lay a trail of kisses along my jawline.
“You’re too jealous,” I answer, burying my fingers in the fabric of his sweatshirt. He shakes his head slowly, but a small half smile gives him away.
“I just protect what’s mine.” He takes my bottom lip between his teeth and softly bites it. His deep-green eyes stare into me. “And you are mine.”
I’m his?
Maybe.
But not in the way I’d like.
Somehow, without realizing it, I’ve gotten myself entangled with him, and it suddenly feels so natural and right for me to be here, in his arms, that I stop thinking entirely.
I squeeze his hips with my knees as we kiss, our tongues seeking each other out and intertwining.
My heart feels like it’s doing backflips.
I’m getting short of air, but I don’t want to pull away from him, not even to breathe.
It’s been too long since we’ve been together, and my body reminds me of that fact every time he gets close to me.
Maybe his does too, because Thomas grabs my legs impulsively and wraps them around his waist. I let him do it, feeling almost drunk on him, on his greedy kisses and his incandescent touches, which burn my skin even through my clothes.
He slips a hand along the side of my face and into my hair while I clasp my fingers around the back of his neck and pull him closer to me.
I can feel the hardness beneath his jeans, pressing between my thighs.
A wave of devastating desire crashes down on me, but I force myself to put on the brakes.
“Thomas…” It comes out as a soft laugh. I can taste the mint gum he’s been chewing all afternoon.
“We’re out in the open. People get arrested for this kind of thing, you know?
” I lay my hands on his chest, forcing him to regain a modicum of self-control as well.
He detaches himself from my lips with considerable reluctance and his heavily lidded eyes stay locked on my mouth, devouring me with his gaze. “You’re a big problem, Ness,” he whispers, his breathing heavy and his mouth red from kissing. “A huge problem.”
Then, he helps me down from the car and walks me to the frat house. Standing on the front porch, I am suddenly overwhelmed with sadness at the thought of saying goodbye to him.
What a nitwit.
If I told him anything I was feeling, he would call me a whiny little baby. “Well, see you around…” I shift from one foot to the other, nervously playing with the door key and keeping my eyes down so he can’t see what’s going on inside my head. Thomas, however, gently tilts my face up.
“If you don’t feel like staying with your friend tonight, you can come back here.
I won’t be here, but the boys aren’t planning any parties, so you’ll be able to rest.” He smiles, and I swear I would smile right back at him, were it not for that phrase “ I won’t be here ,” which is playing on an infinite loop in my head.
Is he going to be out all night? I try to chase away all the negative thoughts, though I feel the urge to pepper him with questions and advice.
I want to tell him to be a good boy, to not get drunk and wind up between someone else’s legs.
To neither touch nor be touched. I’d also like to ask where he’ll spend the night and with whom, but all of those are girlfriend questions, and damn it, I am not his girlfriend.
He is free to go where he wants when he wants and be with whoever he wants, and he doesn’t need to tell me anything.
My God, this is already driving me crazy.
“Don’t worry,” I tell him, trying to appear unruffled. “Alex offered to let me stay with him, at least until I find another solution.” Something in Thomas changes radically with my words. His eyes grow dark under his furrowed eyebrows.
“Alex?”
I nod. “I told him how things aren’t that great at Tiffany’s house and that I’m planning to find a place on my own but, in the meantime, I need somewhere stable to crash.”
“You had a stable place to crash,” he says, his voice suddenly hard. “My dorm. But you said no.”
“And you know why. I have no idea how long it’ll take me to find a place; it could be weeks, and Larry can barely stand my presence. Plus, he’s right when he says that I’m a squatter. I can’t risk getting expelled, and I won’t make you risk it either.”
Thomas doesn’t answer. He just stares at me, grinding his teeth before taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.
The phone in his pocket rings, distracting him from who knows what grim thoughts.
He doesn’t take the call, but the air between us has grown heavy.
I’d like to kiss him one more time before we go our separate ways, but now he feels too far away.
“Whatever you want,” he says flatly. And then he leaves and I’m alone, trying to deal with the strange heaviness in my gut. I watch as he walks down the steps, lighting a cigarette and turning down the path that will take him off campus, his phone pressed against his ear.