Thirteen
Thirteen
When I’m alone, I find myself struggling to cope with everything that Thomas has told me.
Part of me always knew there was a dark broken place inside of him, but I never imagined it went so deep.
I would like to think that his having finally found the strength to tell me about it is a first step toward overcoming that pain and feelings of guilt, but after watching him withdraw into himself again, I’m not so sure.
After last night, neither of us brought the subject back up, and I don’t really feel like pushing it any more.
I get rid of my towel and put Thomas’s clothes back on.
Then, I text Tiffany to see how she’s doing after our rough night.
She answers that, apart from a mild headache, she feels fine.
I take the opportunity to ask for another favor: Could she do the move for me?
Maybe it’s a cowardly thing to do but, right now, I’m not ready to go back to that house and risk getting into yet another argument with my mother.
Besides, even if I wanted to go out, I don’t have anything to wear here.
She agrees, so I ask her to fill as many boxes as she can (especially with my books) and bring them over to me.
I psych myself up enough to also call Alex and update him before asking him to give Tiffany a hand. Though skeptical about the new situation between Thomas and me, he doesn’t back out and assures me that they’ll bring my stuff over as soon as possible.
While I wait for reinforcements, I try to make the room a bit more presentable.
I carefully make the bed, collect some of Thomas’s clothes scattered here and there before folding them and putting them in the dresser.
Finally, I clean up the bathroom as well.
When I finish, I feel particularly satisfied as I admire the shiny results.
After a couple of hours alone, I hear a car horn from the frat’s front yard.
Looking out the window, I can see Tiffany parking her Ford Mustang.
Both she and Alex get out of the car, pop the trunk, and start unloading boxes.
Tiffany, in a short tight black dress and tall rain boots that make her look effortlessly chic, says something to Alex and gestures nervously while he does his best to cover her with his umbrella as she carries the first box in.
I slip on my Converse and go downstairs to lend a hand.
“Wow, did Collins paint his bedroom to match his heart?” Tiffany snarks when she enters the room.
“What were you expecting? Butterflies and unicorns?” Alex grins as he sets a box down on the desk and shakes out his wet hair.
It’s a little uncomfortable, hearing her say this. His heart isn’t black; it’s broken. But between those infinite cracks, there’s a light that not everyone gets to see.
“Thomas isn’t that bad,” I say defensively, trying not to take it personally.
“Of course he isn’t. We are talking about the same Thomas Collins who drives you crazy on a daily basis? Right, Ness?” Alex asks, exchanging an amused look with Tiffany as they both take off their muddy shoes.
I drop my box on the floor and stand up, tucking my hair behind my ears as I look my friends in the eyes. “You don’t know him. Not like I know him, and well, I am completely aware that he isn’t the easiest person in the world, but—”
“Hey, retract your claws, tiger,” Alex interrupts, coming over to me. “I didn’t realize you were so sensitive about him.” He puts an arm around my shoulders, hugging me and kissing my head before ruffling my hair with a jerk of his hand.
“Yes, hun, chill out, we’re just joking. Mostly…” Tiffany says with a smile and a wink.
“I’m chill. It’s just that…trust me, there’s more to it than you know,” I argue, shrugging.
To defuse the sudden tension, I change the subject, and we all end up laughing when I tell them about the morning welcome the frat boys gave me. Trying to sound casual as I unpack a few of my beloved books and put them on an empty shelf above the desk, I ask, “So…did you see my mother?”
They both nod, but only Tiffany answers. “Yeah. It was obvious that she wasn’t expecting us, and she didn’t say a word the whole time.”
“Playing the indifference card,” Alex agrees.
“Exactly. Before we left, though, she did ask me where you were.”
Alarmed, I freeze midair with a book. “And what did you tell her?”
“That you came to stay with me, which is true. I thought it would be better not to update her on subsequent developments.”
“You thought right,” I answer sadly.
“Are you sure everything is okay?” Alex asks me, thoughtful.
“I’m sure. I’m just tired of her and her childish games,” I confess, staring at the shelf, which is now nearly full of books.
“What games are you referring to?”
“Yesterday she came by the Marsy when I wasn’t there. Apparently she asked one of my coworkers to have me call her.” I shake my head bitterly.
“Your mom is consistent, I’ll give her that,” Alex says.
I sigh and let the topic drop.
After unpacking everything, we decide to reward ourselves with three delivery pizzas, which we devour sprawled out in bed while watching Fast and Furious .
“This is without a doubt the best pizza I’ve ever eaten in my life!” Tiffany says, chomping into her last slice.
“I don’t even know how you can eat that. What kind of psychopath puts cream cheese on a pizza instead of mozzarella?” Alex says indignantly. “If my nonna saw this, she would lose it.” As the grandson of an Italian woman, Alex is a bit of purist when it comes to Italian food.
“Before you bad-mouth it, don’t you think you should try it?
” Tiffany lifts the slice of pizza closer and closer to Alex’s face, before suddenly spreading it around on his mouth, chin, and cheeks.
The two of us burst out laughing, while Alex gets his revenge by tackling and tickling us.
We wriggle, between laughter and tears, and in all the excitement, my shirt rides up a little over my stomach.
Alex takes advantage of the exposed strip of skin to escalate the tickling.
Right at that moment, the bedroom door opens. We freeze. In the doorway, I can see Thomas and Vince. Alex’s head immediately swivels toward them.
“Hey!” we all exclaim at the same time, a bit awkwardly.
“Holy shit, people. Is this another one of my recurring sex dreams?” Vince starts.
Thomas doesn’t let out so much as a breath.
Paradoxically, it is this moment, when he shrouds himself in silence and restricts himself to merely slaying a person with his eyes (which is what he is currently doing to Alex) that all my senses snap to attention.
I bound out of bed and go over to him, straightening my T-shirt.
“So, how was your workout?” I smile at him and stand on tiptoe to kiss him, but he doesn’t smile back. He remains impassive with his lips pursed, arms motionless, looking sideways at me.
Alex and Tiffany also get out of the bed and pick up the empty pizza boxes before joining us at the door.
Tiffany gives me a smacking kiss on the cheek and bumps Thomas with her shoulder.
“Collins, a word of advice: repaint these walls. They’re disturbing.
Much like your face right now,” she jokes in an obvious attempt to lighten the mood.
“That’s what I like about them,” he says, lifting the corner of his mouth, and I can tell that he isn’t mad at her. The murderous look he gives to Alex standing beside me similarly leaves no doubt about his feelings there.
“Nessy, we’re headed out. Call if you need anything,” Alex tells me, trying to mask his unease with a sweet smile that warms my heart.
I nod, giving his arm an affectionate squeeze.
“Hey…man,” Alex continues, turning to Thomas. “I hope you haven’t gotten the wrong idea here; I assure you that we—”
“We’re not friends,” Thomas snaps, cutting him off, his voice devoid of any emotion.
“Thomas!” I say, taken aback.
Alex runs a hand through his hair. “That’s true, we’re not. But I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings. I just want to say, Vanessa and I are just friends,” he repeats.
“Friends,” Thomas repeats mockingly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Were you being friendly when you stuck your tongue down her throat at the pool party?”
This shocks everyone. I can see Tiffany cover her eyes, and Alex blushes.
“Wow, this shit is starting to get interesting,” says Vince, who is apparently enjoying the show. Too bad it’s time for it to end.
“Thomas, knock it off!” I order him.
“Relax.” Alex puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “It’s fine; I’d better get going anyway.”
“Yeah. You’d better,” Thomas answers harshly, ignoring my warning. He steps back to clear the hallway, never taking his eyes off Alex.
When Tiffany meets my anxious gaze, she mouths the word men .
Alex gives me a final nod before disappearing down the stairs with Tiffany.
Vince turns to watch her long slender legs go by, and when he snaps out of the trance they’ve put him in, he runs after her like an excitable little dog to see if she needs a ride home.
Thomas closes the door behind them, and as I stare back at him, I can feel an immense anger rising up inside of me. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me ?” he asks, his eyebrows rising.
“I come back here thinking I’m going to find you alone, and instead, I catch you letting that idiot feel you up in my bed.
Is this normal behavior for you?” He pulls off his shirt and throws it on the desk, revealing a powerful, virile body soaked in sweat.
I put my hands in my hair and clench my fists. I can’t believe he’s really going to make a jealous scene about this. “He wasn’t feeling me up; we were just messing around!”
Thomas steps toward me, and I can hear the anger in his voice when he says, “And while you were ‘just messing around,’ did it ever occur to you that you were wearing a fucking T-shirt with nothing underneath?” His dark gaze settles on my breasts.