Chapter 9 #2
An iPad was what Gnorman wanted so that he and his wife, Gnancy, and his husband, Gnathan, and their children, Gnick, Gnora, Gnigel, Gnatalie, and Gnash, could watch the latest season of Stranger Things.
And because the closest outdoor electrical outlet was on the other side of the house, next to the garage, and because there’d be no way to use it inconspicuously, he also wanted a solar charger.
So, in exchange for leaving Martha’s flowers alone, Gnorman’s list of demands, in full, included:
three bunches, or hands, of bananas, containing no fewer than six midsize (approximately 118 grams, Gnorman was very specific) bananas each, delivered three times weekly in perpetuity
one thirteen-inch Apple iPad Pro with at least 512 gigs of storage
one waterproof, portable solar charger with USB-C ports
the Wi-Fi password for the Rustic Rooster Inn
The gnomes had agreed, upon completion of their handshake, to a temporary stay—they would traverse the tunnels beneath Martha’s flower beds with care. Upon payment, they would cease traversing those tunnels entirely and begin digging new ones.
Her hopes of finding a waterproof solar charger at Fannin’s Five she handed him two bags—one with the bananas she’d picked up earlier, and the other from Fannin’s, the contents of which he examined thoroughly before giving her a curt nod.
Extracting from him one final promise that the gnomes would begin digging new access tunnels posthaste, Effie told him the Wi-Fi password—cock-a-doodle-doo.
Once she was finished with her task, she picked her way through the tall grass, brushing the dirt off her knees as she came to a stop in front of a slack-jawed Finn.
“What now?”
He stared past her, over her shoulder, his eyes wide and wary. “What the hell was that?”
“What was what? You’re going to have to be more specific.”
“Either I’ve lost my mind, or that garden gnome was just talking.” He grimaced. “And seeing as you’re involved, I’m going with door number two.”
She narrowed her eyes, looking at him askance. Humans weren’t supposed to be able to see gnomes. “Tell me—what exactly do you think you saw?”
“I don’t think I saw anything, I know I did.” Finn held up his hands. “It was about yea tall, had a white beard, and was wearing a bright red hat and denim overalls. A garden gnome.”