Chapter 14 #3
She’d never talked to a therapist—that would be a trip, trying to navigate talking about her past without someone thinking she’d lost her ever-loving mind—but she was self-aware enough to know she had some flavor of PTSD.
Most demons did, she’d wager, they were all just—for reasons unknown—better at handling it than her. Better at hiding it than her.
She hated to call Bea a trigger, and she liked to think her breakdown was a onetime thing, that it had been the surprise of seeing Finn holding a baby that had made her spiral.
“I wanted to say that I was sorry about your friends.”
Finn smiled somberly. “Thanks.”
She worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “Where’s Beatrix right now?”
“Luella—you remember Luella, right?” he asked, and Effie nodded.
“She lives next door. When Grace is busy or not feeling well, sometimes she’ll help me out.
” He let go of her hand and rubbed the back of his neck, his brows drawn.
“I’m trying to find a more permanent solution for childcare when I’m at work. That’s what Daisy’s helping me with.”
“Oh?” She strived to keep her voice breezy.
Finn squinted at her. “Seriously? I kiss you and you’re still jealous?”
“I’m not…” She trailed off, the denial dying on her lips. It was a lie. She was jealous of Daisy, with her perfectly tamed curls and sweet disposition.
“All right, fine. You want to know the truth?” Finn had claimed that he wanted to know her, and what better way to start than by showing him exactly who she was, raw and unfiltered?
“She put her hand on you, Finn. Daisy put her tarty little hand on you, and I wanted to cut it off because there’s a part of me, however insane, that feels like no one is supposed to touch you but me.
Yes, I’m aware jealousy’s not the most attractive trait in the world, some people might even call it a red flag, but”—she shrugged—“I am what I am.”
She held her breath, waiting for him to balk, to call her crazy, to admit that for him, this was a bridge too far.
“I think…hmm.” Finn scrubbed a hand over his frowning mouth. “I’m…Okay, I—I’m not sure what this says about me? But I’m not nearly as bothered by that as I think I should be.”
Effie blinked owlishly at him. “Meaning what exactly?”
“Meaning”—under his short beard, his cheeks turned pink—“don’t go cutting off anyone’s hands, please, but I think I like you jealous.” His smile crooked to the side. “It’s kind of doing it for me.”
She snorted and smacked his stomach with the back of her hand. “Freak.”
Finn caught her hand and brought it to his mouth, where he pressed a kiss against the backs of her fingers. His eyes sparkled. “Says the girl who wanted to cut someone’s hands off for touching me. What’s next? Are you going to threaten to pluck someone’s eyes out for looking my way?”
He sounded oddly excited by the prospect, and it sank in that he really wasn’t bothered by her territorial streak. A streak that may or may not have been a fundamental part of who she was where he was concerned. But hey, if it didn’t bother him…
“I wouldn’t pluck out anyone’s eyes,” she said. “I’d befriend a murder of crows and have them do it for me.”
“I have no doubt you could do that,” he said, sounding fond. “But you know you don’t actually have any reason to be jealous, right? I’m not interested in Daisy. She’s helping me figure out childcare for Bea because she teaches kindergarten.”
Oh, goody. So not only was Daisy pretty and human, but she was also good with children.
She would slot perfectly into Finn’s life.
A ready-made little family. Because Finn could say Effie had no reason to be jealous, but she wasn’t going to be around forever.
She’d be gone in ten days, if not sooner, and yes, it made her a hypocrite because she was the one who was engaged, but the thought of Finn settling down with some nice girl like Daisy made her want to throttle someone.
“That’s convenient.”
He pressed his lips together, looking like he was trying not to laugh.
“She’s helping me navigate getting Bea into daycare.
A lot of them don’t accept infants, and the ones that do?
All have waitlists. Waitlists Bea should’ve been on when she was a, I don’t know, a zygote, apparently?
But Daisy is sorority sisters with the woman who runs a really nice full-service daycare in Dahlonega.
I’m not above exploiting whatever connections I have if it means Bea gets the best care possible.
Daisy helped me with the application, which felt more like a test, and now she’s working to get me off the waitlist.”
Oh. Her breath quickened and she plucked at the neckline of her top in an effort to cool off. Maybe she could get him to say exploit again. Maybe whisper it in her ear.
“For what it’s worth,” she murmured, her voice slightly husky, “I think Beatrix is really lucky to have you.”
He ducked his head, looking bashful. “Not to use your own words against you, but you don’t know me. Not really.”
“You’ve got a good soul.” She smiled and squeezed his hand. “I know that.”