Chapter 10 Dancing in the Light
TEN
DANCING IN THE LIGHT
RYAN
I drove through the fields in Bessie, stealing glances at Cindy in the seat next to me, and trying to contain my excitement.
She was here with me, begging for a reason she should stay. With any luck, I wouldn’t blow this second chance with her.
With an almost full moon rising, the crickets sang out in full chorus. The air cooled off quick without sunshine, relief at last from the heat of the spring day.
Bessie’s windows were down, and Cindy’s hand rode the air current, catching a lighting bug or two. The smell of the hay overpowered anything else.
“Are you taking me to . . . Oh.” She peered ahead as the front-end of Bessie turned up, heading to the top of a small hill overlooking the hay fields.
“Our place? Yep. Only I think you might find I’ve improved it a little.”
We had dubbed it our place long ago because the old tree at the top of the hill had provided hours and hours of play time as we grew up. It was our fort, our house, our castle, our fire station, whatever our young imaginations needed it to be.
I parked at the crest, and left the lights on, tuning in to the local country music station.
Before she could exit, I ran around and opened her door, holding out my hand. “My lady. Welcome back to your castle.”
She chuckled. “Look at this. When did Dad build a pergola here?”
“He didn’t. I did. Remember our old tree? It came down during a lightning storm a few years back. This is just a simple pergola. I added the rocking chairs and picnic table.”
She walked around and inspected every inch, and I suddenly remembered she held a degree in architecture.
“Jeez. I guess you could have designed something prettier.”
“No, this is nice. I always pictured a gazebo or something up here,” she said, staring dreamily out at the land, taking in what she could under the moonlight and my truck lights.
From behind, I admired her backside, her hands tucked into her back pockets, staring out into the darkness like it was the great unknown. I liked the view of her here, where she belonged.
I stepped up beside her. “I’d bring Tom up here now and then. He’d sit in his rocker and watch me mow the hay, making sure I did it right. You know he hated the way the Kerrigan’s did it, so I mowed it for him.”
That brought out her broad smile. “Sounds like Dad.” Then it fell in her next breath as she faced me. “Ryan, you’ve done so much for him, and for us. My sister’s and I haven’t thanked you enough for everything—”
“No thanks needed. You know, he was more like a father to me than my own was. Rose loved him like a grandpa, too. She likes it up here, by the way. I plan on bringing her up here soon for her first camping experience. I mean, if that’s okay with you.”
“Of course it is. How sweet.”
“You could join us. Camp out like we used to under the stars.”
“Um, yeah. Are you sure though? She didn’t seem to take too well to me yet.”
“She will. It takes time.”
“What if she doesn’t?” The tormented expression returned to her face.
Now more intimately familiar, I placed my hands on her arms, drawing them down her smooth skin to her wrists. A tiny miracle she let me, considering how things started out between us since she’d been back.
“I get it, but the reality of me being a package deal with a daughter is something you’ll have to come to terms with. Trust me. She takes easy to people once she’s around them more, including you.”
My words were for me too, as I pushed the worry out of my head. Tonight, I simply wanted her to be with me, finally exploring how good we’d be together. We could deal with everything else another day.
If she stayed. Would I be enough for her this time? One thing was certain, I’d not give up without a fight. Long had I regretted not leaving with her to college, but after tonight, hopefully, all regrets would reach their expiration date.
“I feel Dad’s spirit here, like I always do with Mom’s at the pond. This is such a special place.” Her arms circled my waist and her head burrowed into my chest, nestled just right under my chin.
“Tom loved you, and worried about you the most, Cin, being in that big city.”
Just as I had predicted, her shoulders shook. My clothes had finally dried from the water fiasco, but my t-shirt was soaking again from her tears.
“I miss Dad. I should have been a better daughter and kept in touch more,” she cried. “Why’d I stay away? Because of some stupid vow to my mother?”
“Baby, let it all out. I’m here for you.”
The tears kept rolling until she struggled to stay upright. I carried her to my truck, setting her down on my tailgate. Her legs wrapped around my waist and she continued to cry into my chest.
“Now I can’t make it up to him. He’s gone, Ryan. What did I do?”
“Regrets will eat away at you. He wouldn’t have wanted that. I think both your folks would only want to see you happy. Find what makes you happy.”
“Being here with you right now makes me happy,” she whispered through sniffles, finally calming down. “Oh God, I needed that cry. Now I’m a mess.”
“Stay here.” In my truck, I rooted around in my daddy diaper bag, and returned with a package of wet wipes. “Here you go. Being a dad comes with some obvious perks. I’m always prepared for anything.”
She laughed and cried some more. And finally, when she’d recovered and cleaned up, an old but good song came on the radio.
“Every time I hear this song, I think of you. But here you are, in the flesh. Come on. Dance with me, Cynthia.”
By Bessie’s headlights, on the top of our hill, we swayed to the music while I hummed the tune.
We can dance to a song, under the moon,
My lips press to yours, swaying to the tune.
The last time we danced in the light like this, in each other’s arms, was prom night, but I refused to think this night would end how that night did.
When the song was over, her face tilted up to mine, and her green eyes dazzled despite the dark. Her mane of red hair, finally dried and wavy, added to the wild mystic of Cynthia. It was up to me to tame her heart.
Other than holding my baby girl the day she was born, things never felt more right than this moment.
“There’s something you should know.” I brushed her lips with mine. “I could never give my heart to anyone else all these years, because I was still stuck in this field, slow dancing to the lights of Bessie with my favorite girl in my arms.”
I kissed her lips, again and again, and in case she still needed convincing, I kissed her more. Breathless in my arms, I carried my girl to the back of my truck again. I laid down some blankets, then joined her there, hovering over her.
Her hand reached up, fingering my hair. “If we do this, Ryan, everything will change between us.”
“That’s the one thing I’m counting on,” I whispered on her lips before taking them and claiming them once and for all.