Chapter 16 #2
I want to punch him, to scream, but all I can do is wrap my arms around myself and back away, step by step, until the green closes over and I can’t see his face anymore.
I walk until my legs give out. I shed so many tears there on the cold, wet ground.
For every time I let him touch me, every time I let myself believe he was different.
I want to dig my nails into my skin and scrape out every ounce of him.
I want to go back to before, to when I was numb and could at least pretend I was untouchable. But even here, pain finds me. Even on an island at the end of the world, I can’t outrun this.
I think I stay there, sitting on the cold jungle ground, for hours. I can hear Aggie and Tatiana calling for me, I wonder if they know? Or if they’re just worried that I haven’t come back. Did Ace and Kellen have the guts to tell them the truth, or are they waiting for me to do it for them?
Eventually I stand. I wipe my face, and I pick some coconuts and start the walk back. Because I have no fucking choice. Out here, survival is the only option.
The camp is gold-stained with sunset when I make it back, clutching the coconuts in a death-grip.
My skin is sticky from tears and whatever comes from breaking when the inside of you is finally, actually, irreparably damaged.
Aggie and Tatiana are hunched by the fire, cooking something on the pan.
Rachel is helping Adrian, adjusting his bed again so he can sleep.
I clack the coconuts on the trunk at the edge of camp, and they all spin in my direction. One look at my face, and Aggie is up and at my side, fingers on my elbow, trying to read my face. “Jesus, Grace. You’re—you’re a mess. What happened?”
I can’t find the words.
“Where are they?” My voice is not my own; it has dropped to a gravelly flatness that, for once, makes the whole camp listen.
Aggie shrugs. “Fixing up the raft. Didn’t say much. Didn’t even eat.”
A silence lodges itself between us. Even the fire seems to pop more quietly.
“They’re not coming back tonight,” says Tati, her face twisting with confusion. “They said they’re camping on the boat to keep working on it, but I’m guessing that isn’t why.”
“Sit down,” I croak. “There is something you all need to know.”
It’s amazing how quickly three battered, sunburned girls can rearrange themselves, shoulder to shoulder, ringed around a fire like it’s the only thing holding us to this planet.
Rachel blinks slow, like she has seen a ghost, and the other two just watch me, waiting for me to break something to them that will change their entire lives.
So, I tell them.
I tell them every bit of it, from the overheard words in the jungle, to the truth embedded in Ace’s face, to what it meant, what they had been paid to do—what my father paid them to do.
I finish, and there is nothing but the pop of the fire, and the crash of the distant surf, and the rush of blood in my ears. No one moves for a long time.
Aggie eventually breaks the spell. “No.” It’s small, but so full of emotion it makes my heart skip a beat.
“They... they were taking us to be sold?” Tatiana whispers.
I nod.
Rachel just stands, anger raging in her features as she shrugs off the blanket and stands, her hands trembling by her side. When she turns, her lips tremble, her whole face a mask of fury and betrayal. “So what? Now we’re fucking stuck here with them? What the fuck!”
Her voice is loud, high-pitched and hurt.
I look at her, and she looks back, and for a second, I swear she looks like she might hit me.
Instead, she drops back down, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Tatiana reaches out, taking her hand, her face pale.
Aggie is the one who finally pulls us all together.
“We aren’t going to get off this fucking island if we can’t get past this. ”
“We’ll never trust them again,” Tati whispers, shaking her head.
“No, and we don’t have to. But we do have to survive because I didn’t come this far to fucking die out here.”
Aggie has this way of bringing strength when we need it, even if she’s hurting inside.
“She’s right,” Rachel whispers. “We have to get through this. We are all each other have.”
“I vote they fucking go somewhere else,” Tati mumbles. “I never want to look at their fucking lying faces again.”
We all stare at her, mostly shocked by her swearing, but she makes a point.
The ache in my heart is so heavy, I can do nothing but nod and sit down between them, letting Aggie and Tatiana take my hand. We sit like that, hands locked, shivering but stubborn, until the moon comes up and the only light is from the fire. Nobody speaks about what comes next. Nobody dares.
But I think that whatever waits for us—together or alone—I will never again be owned by anyone. Not by my father. Not by Ace. Not by my own fear. That is the promise I make myself under the mostly full moon, on a beach at the end of the world: The only one who gets to decide my fate, is me.
And there is no one left in this universe who can take that away.
TO BE CONTINUED.....