Chapter 11
Night began to fall and with it a chill descended.
Theo watched the suns vanish from the sky and the dark purple spread of night turn black, starless and moonless.
Standing in the dark of the woods, no source of light, Theo closed his eyes and steadied himself.
It was stupid to be afraid of the dark. One of his true loves was the primordial being of pure darkness reborn, so why fear it?
But the abyss touched him in a way he could only describe as terror.
Loss, loneliness, fear, and isolation overwhelmed him, making him tremble.
The celestial realm, which Theo visited exactly twice, glowed like standing on a lightbulb.
He hadn’t stayed. The warm brightness, while welcoming, overwhelmed him instantly.
His coloring refracted rainbows off everything from a thousand directions and hurt his eyes.
Lucian remarked that it looked like unicorn vomit, which made Star laugh and tease Raphael about it, but Theo struggled to find a sense of home in the strange world he was meant to be a part of.
Oddly enough, very few fallen seraphim stayed either.
Theo suspected most sentient things were meant to find a middle ground between light and dark. Their evolution or fall as it might be, meant a rise in transitions between cultures, dreams, and entire worlds. What did that mean for this strange place?
He crafted a small glowing orb to help guide him through the dark, no destination in mind. What if it was all forest now? Where would he begin to search for Barney, and worse, how would he get back?
The light of his orb illuminated the bracelet Lucian made him. Crafted from an ore found on Dahna, it could channel magic in small amounts, and the spell on this one, Lucian called a locator spell. Meaning if Theo got lost, Lucian could track him.
“Trial by fire,” Theo said, staring at the bracelet.
“No idea how long you’ll last, but since we’re stuck here for now, let’s look for Barney.
” He could open a portal, but that would use up most of his minimal skills and it tended to link him either to the Celestial Realm, or some dark shadowy place that seemed desperate for his light.
He walked until his feet grew sore, passing endless colored trees. He heard chittering and shifted directions to follow it, but never came across anything.
Would the others miss him? Would an apology for not thinking this through be enough? Theo sat down, avoiding the bases of the trees or any bushes, and wished he’d packed a bag. Food and a blanket would be nice. Lucian’s arms and warm bed would be better.
Most nights they slept together, all four of them. Radu on one side, curled around Star, Theo snuggled up to Star with Lucian behind him. The thought was that someday Yuri would be in the middle, and their star would be complete.
Theo hugged his knees to his chest, shivering from the chill and contemplating releasing his wings to wrap around himself for added warmth.
Their brightness might attract attention, and he wondered if he should release the magic he clung to and create a fire for actual warmth.
But, that meant getting close to the plant life to find something to burn.
He rested his head on his knees. The shivering kept him from falling asleep though he could barely keep his eyes open. A doze nearly stealing him a few times until the chittering wandered through again. Never close enough to see anything, but it made him search for movement each time.
He heard a crackle, and a portal opened. Lucian stepped out in his full Onari King glory, blazing skin, horns, and glowing eyes. The portal snapped shut behind him, closing the instant he stepped free of the magic swirl.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Lucian demanded as he dropped to his knees beside Theo.
Theo released his shield and winced, fearing Lucian would be angry at him, but he pulled Theo into his arms and wrapped a blanket around them. Lucian’s warmth slid over him, though the shivering continued.
“S-sorry,” Theo stuttered, his teeth chattering. “I was trying to find Barney, but didn’t really think this through. My fault. S-sorry.”
Lucian curled around Theo. “Violet came to our door. She said she begged Michael to go get you. But he wouldn’t budge. I don’t have an anchor here…” He hesitated. “I have been avoiding the trip.”
“I think Barney came here because he had to create some stuff from the shadows. Violet said her fluffies turned into cats. I thought if I could find him, it would help you be happy.”
“I am happy.”
“You’re not. None of us are. Not until we get Yuri back. I understand that I’m not enough. I miss him, too.”
Lucian cupped Theo’s face, his skin radiating warmth and illuminating his face as their gaze met.
“I love you. You are enough and exactly what you need to be. Yes, we all miss and need Yuri. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
It means I’m angry at myself for not being strong enough to bring him back to us. ”
“You’re trying.”
“Yes. But I can’t help how I feel. I’m working through it.
Sometimes I just need to let it out and not feel like I’m burdening all of you with my frustrations.
It’s me I’m angry at. It’s me I feel is lacking.
Not any of you,” Lucian confessed. “Yes, I miss the damn barnacle. I would miss you more if you didn’t return to me. ”
Theo gave him a watery smile. “Sorry for being sort of dumb…”
“Not dumb,” Lucian corrected. “Emotions are complicated. And you think too much. Which is okay. But maybe talk to us before vanishing to seek answers on your own. We are a team, right?”
“Yes,” Theo agreed.
“Good.” Lucian sighed. “However, we’ll be stuck here for the night at least. I’ll need to recharge, and you’ve already used up a lot of energy just trying to keep warm.”
Theo’s cheeks heated at the idea of how Lucian usually recharged his magic batteries, but he didn’t feel at all sexy when he couldn’t stop shivering, even beneath Lucian’s warming touch. The Onari ran hot, and Theo wondered if he should be this cold.
“Sorry,” Theo repeated. “I don’t know why I can’t get warm.”
“It’s called hypothermia, angel. You’re mortal now, remember.
Hot and cold are a thing.” Lucian dragged Theo into his lap trying to cover every part of him with his own body for added warmth.
“We shouldn’t be out in the wind like this.
There’s more magic here than I remember there being, but not enough for me to create walls out of nothing. ”
“You’re warm. That helps,” Theo said pressing his face into the crook of Lucian’s shoulder.
“Then rest. I’ll keep you warm until the morning and we find our way out of here.”
Theo burrowed into Lucian’s embrace; the shivering unrelenting.