Chapter 3 #2
SawyerRox4: Did you see that new preview of next week’s episode? I think Ali is finally going to find Percy in the west fort!
CastGamer55: I did not. I avoid spoilers.
SawyerRox4: Well, it’s a preview or teaser, not a spoiler
CastGamer55: All the same to me. I like to be surprised.
SawyerRox4: OK, OK. Next week we’ll see if I’m right then
CastGamer55: I actually was thinking Emily would find Percy first, but now I’m not so sure. See, you ruined the surprise.
SawyerRox4: Ah, you’ll just have to deal
CastGamer55: *arms crossed*
SawyerRox4: Is that you being petulant?
SawyerRox4: I could be wrong anyway. :( I often am.
CastGamer55: Stop. Nearly every theory you’ve shared on the boards has proven true or almost true.
SawyerRox4: So you’re basically saying I’m a Cast Afar fandom legend?
CastGamer55: It’s true though.
SawyerRox4: That’s what I like about you. You’re so direct. But you also think deeply about all the intricacies just like I do. For a fandom, some of the other fans are shockingly na?ve or shallow when it comes to the show.
Oh. No.
I just put my foot in my mouth again. Ugh, I just told him I like him. Not like that . Surely he wouldn’t think—
CastGamer55: I couldn’t agree more.
A flutter in my chest drew my attention away from the screen, and my hand reached up to touch my chest. What was that?
I’d never really experienced heartburn, but I guess there was a first time for everything.
I grabbed my water bottle from the coffee table and chugged down as much as I could.
That would help with indigestion, I hoped.
He still hadn’t replied, and his status was now idle. Frowning, I started typing a reply, my fingers hesitant on the keys.
SawyerRox4: Well, I’m sure you’d like to kick back and relax tonight after your long day. I don’t want to keep you …
I waited another minute, and my brows furrowed more deeply as I realized our chat was already over. I didn’t think I scared him away, but who could tell? He probably just had better things to do. Better people to talk to.
Anybody but you.
I bit my lip, knowing it was true.
But when I’d almost given up and decided to log off, the three dots appeared, indicating he was typing a response.
CastGamer55: I have an off-topic question for you, if that’s OK.
SawyerRox4: I love off-topic questions
CastGamer55: Do you like board games?
SawyerRox4: No, I don’t like them.
SawyerRox4: I love them!
CastGamer55: Ha-ha.
SawyerRox4: Juvenile, I know. But I like the adult games
SawyerRox4: I mean, games for adults!
SawyerRox4: Not “adult” like THAT. I just mean, not kids games
SawyerRox4: Sorry for being the most awkward person on the planet
CastGamer55: Surely not the most awkward. That would be hard. There has to be someone out there who’s more awkward than you.
SawyerRox4: gasp :0
CastGamer55: I was joking. You’re probably not as awkward as you think.
SawyerRox4: I am just going to go hide in the basement storage closet for the rest of my life now. Thanks .
CastGamer55: You might be the most dramatic person on the planet though.
SawyerRox4: OK, you got me. I am terrible at giving good impressions…
CastGamer55: Joking again.
CastGamer55: I might not be very good at joking around. So I’ve been told. I’ve been called harsh.
SawyerRox4: *shrug*
CastGamer55: Sorry.
SawyerRox4: You’ve nothing to be sorry for. Anyway, back to safer territory … yes, I love board games. Do you?
CastGamer55: Yes, particularly complex strategy games.
SawyerRox4: Oh, same! I’m not that picky, but the more strategy involved, the better. I don’t have a lot of people to play with though. Most of my friends aren’t into games.
Of course, I didn’t really have friends, but he didn’t need to know that. It was true, anyway, that I loved board games but rarely got to play. Hazel once invited me over, but I declined because it was likely just a pity invite.
CastGamer55: Have you ever thought about creating a game?
SawyerRox4: You mean an online game? Like a website or app? I don’t have coding skills, unfortunately.
CastGamer55: I’m referring to a tabletop game.
SawyerRox4: I always thought it must be really fun for the people who design board games. But no, I’ve never seriously considered it.
CastGamer55: I have.
SawyerRox4: Oh, wow! What games have you designed?
SawyerRox4: If you don’t mind my asking …
CastGamer55: No, I haven’t created any games. I have seriously considered it though. I’ve been thinking a lot about our show, and it would be a great premise for a board game.
SawyerRox4: Oooooh, what kind of game?
CastGamer55: Maybe a world-building game or survival game. Both.
SawyerRox4: That sounds really fun. I’d definitely play that!
CastGamer55: Would you design it?
SawyerRox4: Uh, what? ME?
CastGamer55: Yes.
SawyerRox4: Well, I don’t know the first thing about developing a game.
CastGamer55: You could learn.
SawyerRox4: I suppose … maybe. Why don’t you design a game like that? It is your idea. And a great one.
CastGamer55: I’d like to.
SawyerRox4: Oh, do you mean
I stopped typing but didn’t press Send. Was he hoping I would design a board game with him? Seriously? That couldn’t be right. He couldn’t mean that. Could he? But before I could finish my message, he sent another.
CastGamer55: I was thinking we could work together.
CastGamer55: If you’re not interested, that’s fine.
SawyerRox4: No, yeah, I might be. I just need a moment. It’s just a surprise, that’s all.
CastGamer55: Have you heard of Game Acres?
SawyerRox4: No, is that a gamer site?
CastGamer55: It’s a community of game designers. Game Acres sounds like Game Makers, right?
SawyerRox4: Oh, neat. You’re part of the community?
CastGamer55: I just joined fairly recently.
SawyerRox4: That sounds interesting
CastGamer55: It’s open to all experience levels, even complete novices.
SawyerRox4: It sounds great
CastGamer55: So you’ll join ?
My breath caught in my throat. He was asking me to create a game with him and join this game developer group? We knew virtually nothing about each other than our opinions about the show.
And yet, as my heart raced, I realized it was excitement, not fear. Not nerves. Well, maybe some nerves.
I wanted to say yes.
I could admit life had become stale lately. I’d known deep down for a while that I needed something new, something to stimulate my mind and my creativity … maybe even friendship. But this …
This could be both. I could connect with another person and do something intellectually stimulating.
Would it be ludicrous to say yes? He wasn’t asking to meet up in person. I didn’t even know where on earth he lived. It was just a different form of online interaction, channeled into something more creative. More fun. More … everything.
I had every reason to say yes.
CastGamer55: You still there?
But also every reason to say no. Because I wasn’t a person who just tried new things and chased excitement.
Just the opposite, in fact. Sure, maybe I was kind of a different person on the internet …
not in a deceitful way, but without the extreme shyness, I could be myself more.
But I wasn’t so different that I’d easily jump into something big and different with a near stranger.
Or maybe … maybe I was boxing myself into some stupid “type” of person. Maybe I didn’t need to. I could try this.
SawyerRox4: I’m intrigued. But honestly, we don’t know each other well. What if we clash constantly? What if I’m a pain in the … you know.
As soon as the words were out, I winced .
Way to sound really anxious and insecure. Guys love that.
I took a deep breath in and out and then started typing, but a new message appeared.
CastGamer55: I think we’d figure that out relatively early on, before we’ve invested much time or anything else.
SawyerRox4: True.
CastGamer55: Most likely if we were really unsuitable as partners, we’d have already clashed.
SawyerRox4: True…
CastGamer55: You’re probably overthinking this.
SawyerRox4: Also true, lol ... OK, I’m in!
CastGamer55: Excellent. I’ll share the link, just a moment.
My toes curled as a familiar mix of anxiety and curiosity swept through me. Had I really just agreed to this? I knew nothing about creating games—or about this man. We hadn’t even shared our names. Should we?
SawyerRox4: I don’t even know your first name. Should we share that?
CastGamer55: We could use fake but real-sounding names if that would make you comfortable. I could be, like, Danny or something.
SawyerRox4: Yeah, that’s a good idea. Uh, my name is Mindy, and it’s nice to meet you, Danny.
CastGamer55: Any significance in the name Mindy?
SawyerRox4: I loved the show The Mindy Project . Do you know it?
CastGamer55: Can’t say I do.
SawyerRox4: Mindy Kaling? Well, it ended years ago anyway. It was a comedy/rom-com that borrowed from a lot of classic rom-coms in really fun ways. There was a character named Danny ...
CastGamer55: Ah, I’m more into drama, as you might guess from our shared TV interest .
SawyerRox4: Interests plural … you liked Lost too!
CastGamer55: I did. Are you ready to join the server?
I chuckled a bit to myself. He could be somewhat abrupt sometimes, but still friendly. I kind of liked how direct he was, so I didn’t have to wonder what he meant by his words, as I so often do with others.
But what server was he talking about?
Oh. He just sent the signup link for Game Acres.
That was … fast. He must really want to do this. But my brow furrowed as negative thoughts started flooding my poor brain. Thoughts about how I’d probably disappoint him, mainly. I shook my head, trying to clear them out and forcing a smile.
I’d read somewhere that just the physical act of smiling can make you feel better. In my experience, it didn’t usually work. But worth a shot, right?
Then again, maybe I wouldn’t have to force a smile all the time because this might actually be fun. I loved board games, and game design was intriguing. And I had a chance to try it with this guy online who must think I’m interesting.
The next thing I knew, I was grinning without even trying.