Chapter 17
O ddly, I didn’t spend the next week trying to come up with excuses not to attend Thanksgiving.
No, I spent the week trying to figure out why I wasn’t trying to get out of it.
On the big day, when I rang the doorbell after a pleasant, slow stroll in the short distance to Jeff’s house, Lila opened the door. She was wearing a very messy pink apron over her orange and yellow striped pajamas.
I smiled and greeted her. “How are you?”
She backed up and ushered me in. “I’m great! Do you like my jammies with Thanksgiving colors?” Before I could reply, she frowned. “I just wish we had snow for turkey day!”
I wrinkled my nose. “Snow? No, thanks. I love a warm, colorful autumn. It’s rarely this nice for Thanksgiving. We’re more likely to get snowed in during a blizzard, you know?”
She eyed me oddly and then shrugged. “I don’t know.”
I chuckled, suddenly remembering most kids didn’t care that much—or notice—weather trends. She led me to a seat at the kitchen table, a few feet away from where Jeff was cooking.
Clueless about what I should say or do, I just said the first dumb thing that came to mind. “You can cook, Jeff?”
He looked up, the steam from the stove creating tiny sweat beads on his face. “Yes. Most adults can.”
“I don’t know if that’s true.”
He shrugged. “Well then, yes, Roxy. I can cook.”
“Can I help? ”
“No. Just relax,” he said firmly.
“Roxy, get out of here! I’m helping Daddy. You’re the guest!” Lila exclaimed.
I laughed. “You don’t know what mad cooking skills you’re missing out on. But sure, I’ll just sit and wait.” My eyes immediately shot to the floor. I couldn’t believe I just said that. It’s, like, something sassy that Hazel would say. Not me.
But Jeff and Lila nudged each other, and I could almost swear I heard a masculine chuckle as he turned around to retrieve something from the refrigerator.
OK, maybe I hadn’t sounded totally awkward. Or had I?
I was examining a still-life painting hanging near the table where I sat when suddenly he was there, sitting next to me on a kitchen chair just a foot away.
I gazed at him and then back at the painting, not really seeing it this time. Awkwardness hung in the air for what seemed like hours but was probably only a minute. Why did he come over here? Did he have something to say? Why wasn’t he saying it?
I snuck a few glances at him, but he was silent, apart from asking Lila to stir something on the stove.
“She said she was pregnant.”
I turned to him, surprised. “Who?”
“Aileen. Nine years ago.” He paused, dragging a hand down the side of his clean-shaven face. “She was lying, but I didn’t know that until I finally realized she couldn’t have been pregnant for eleven months. After we married.”
I nodded sympathetically. “And you stayed for Lila?”
“Yes.”
“Ah, that explains a lot.”
He nodded. “So now you know. Lila doesn’t know any of that though.”
“No, of course not. I won’t breathe a word.” Ironically, my voice got slightly breathy at the end.
We locked eyes for a moment. “I just wanted to clear that up.” He abruptly stood up and strode away.
It wasn’t until a moment later when it dawned on me. As they’d shooed me out of the kitchen, he’d called me Roxy. Not Roxanne. Why?
And why was he telling such personal details about his previous marriage? Had something changed between us?
I tried to take a quick mental inventory as Jeff and Lila bustled around the kitchen. My thoughts weren’t cooperating though. I just … well, I was at his house for a major holiday. Maybe we were almost friends.
And that meant …
Maybe we didn’t hate each other.
Dinner was delicious but uneventful. Lila carried most of the conversation and actually blushed when Jeff told me she’d painted the beautiful still-life.
In the quiet moments, I realized this was one of the more peaceful, relaxing Thanksgiving dinners I’d experienced.
Usually I could barely taste my food because of all the loud, distracting voices around me, not to mention the tension and resentment that rear their ugly heads at least a few times every year.
My parents invite way too many people and serve way too much alcohol, and it’s all I can do to politely sit there for the full meal and then devise an excuse to head to my old bedroom.
“Daddy, when we finish cleaning up, can we watch a movie with Roxy?”
“That’s up to her,” he said, glancing at me quickly before draining his glass and looking back at his daughter.
She turned to me as I stacked the dirty dishes and brought them over to the sink. “Have you ever seen The Princess Diaries , Roxy?”
I smiled. “I have. But it was a long time ago.”
“Will you stay and watch with us? Please ?” she pleaded.
“Well, I …” I glanced at Jeff, who was loading the dishwasher. “I suppose I could. If your dad doesn’t mind”
“Yes! This will be so fun. Of course it’ll be fine with Daddy,” she said with a giggle. “I’m going to change into my pajamas, be right back? ”
I wanted to tell her not to be so sure about her father’s preferences in the matter, but I decided it would ruin the mood. Instead, I asked, “Wait, aren’t you already wearing pajamas?”
She giggled. “These are last night’s jammies. Dad said I could wear them all day if I change tonight.”
“Oh, that’s …” Unexpectedly sweet , I wanted to say.
Jeff wasn’t wearing pajamas, but he wasn’t wearing a suit or tie either. With his dark jeans and maroon fitted sweater, he looked so different. Like a normal person, not a robot. A normal person that was also effortlessly handsome.
Wait, what?
I shook my head to clear out the odd thoughts.
When Lila raced out of the room, Jeff turned to me. “You can say no if you’d rather go home.”
I shrugged, trying not to think about whether he was implying he’d rather I leave. “It’s fine. I don’t have any other plans.”
“Good. You’re welcome to join us then,” he said, his tone polite but not in the stiff way he usually spoke.
Before I could thank him, he walked out of the room to a hallway closet and retrieved a broom, handing it to Lila as she bounded back into the room with a neon pink and green nightgown and fluffy orange socks.
When I finished wiping down the table, I asked what else I could do to help.
“Nothing! You’re our esteemed guest. Go rest on the couch,” Lila said with a smile.
I smiled back. “Well, I like the sound of that.”
A few minutes later, she reappeared. “Would you like some champagne, Roxy?”
My eyes widened. “Oh, I … is your dad OK with that?”
“I think he’s having some.” Then, as though it should be obvious, she added, “I mean, he told me to ask you.”
“Oh. Then yes, please.” I wouldn’t turn down good champagne. Jeff didn’t seem like the type to buy the cheap stuff. “Tell your dad thank you. ”
Drinking with Jeff was weird. I’d never seen him drink before, but then again, I usually skipped the office parties.
We were almost done with Princess Diaries when I glanced over to ask Lila how she thought the movie would end. Her head was resting on Jeff’s lap as her chest rose and fell rhythmically.
My eyes rose to Jeff’s, and he was smiling faintly. “I knew she wouldn’t make it through the whole movie. She never finishes movies this close to bedtime.”
I returned the smile tentatively and then pretended to keep watching the movie. But the tension was driving me crazy, so after refilling our glasses, I ventured to ask, “So, Lila chose this over Cancun with her mother?”
“Yes,” he said after taking a sip.
“I’m honored to be here then,” I replied, trying not to sound sarcastic as I usually would.
He didn’t speak for a while as he swirled the champagne in his glass slowly.
“It was a whole ordeal. I asked if Lila could come here for once, and Aileen didn’t take that well. And she took it even worse when Lila freely chose to come here.”
I nodded. “I can imagine. It seems like she’s used to getting her way.”
After a brief moment of thoughtfulness, he sighed. “I guess you’re right. She is.”
“May I offer some advice?” I heard myself asking. And that’s when I realized I was a bit tipsy, because everything seemed upside down: Jeff and I were hanging out basically alone. We were talking about something personal, and I was offering advice. In no sober world would that make sense.
He glanced at me with the corners of his eyes crinkled and then put his feet up on the coffee table, careful not to disturb Lila. “Sure, let’s hear it.”
I wondered if I’d regret what I was about to say. Or this whole conversation. “Don’t be so passive with Aileen.” I paused and continued a bit shakily, “You shouldn’t let her walk all over you.”
His jaw tensed as he looked at me steadily. Finally, he said, “Go on.”
Inhaling slowly, I continued, “You should set boundaries, for starters. And some routines so that all three of you have more predictability, which is especially important for children with divorced parents. The word no will be your best friend.” I laughed.
“To her, that is. Don’t you dare tell me no . ”
Realizing what I’d just said, I immediately plunged into panic mode. I sounded flirty . I set my glass down, knowing I should’ve stopped at one glass. Or less.
But then the miracle of all miracles … he smiled. It wasn’t a full-on smile where your cheeks hurt, but it was more than a slight quirk of the mouth and lasted for almost two seconds. “Your ability to gauge all that from only a couple of meetings with Aileen is impressive.”
“Ah, I’ve met her type before.”
He rubbed his jaw a bit. “Right, you were a therapist. Sometimes I forget.”
“Yes.”
He didn’t say anything, perhaps waiting for me to elaborate. But that was the last thing I wanted to talk about. It wasn’t easy admitting I’d just quit . I try my best to avoid thinking about that whenever possible.
Finally, I cleared my throat. “Are you from Shipsvold originally?”
“No, I grew up in Superior,” he said flatly. “I had a friend here years ago, and he helped me get the job with Mariana.”
“Oh, does your friend still live here? Would I know him?”
Jeff’s mouth was set in a thin line as he shook his head.
“Sorry to hear that,” I said, unsure why I was apologizing.
“It’s nothing to be sorry about. The town is better without him in it.”
My brow was creased as I considered this. “Did you have a falling out?”
He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared at some distant object across the room .
I mirrored his crossed arms. “You can just say, ‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ you know.”
He glanced over at me, his face softer. “I know.” He sighed.
“Bart and I had been close friends forever. At times, he was my only friend.” He exhaled even more slowly this time.
“I caught him dating my sister behind my back. He convinced her not to tell me, but she eventually did. After I cooled off, I tried to be accepting of the awkward situation.”
“Sure you did,” I said with a chuckle.
“I know, it’s hard to believe,” he said wryly. “But that’s not the worst of it. He cheated on her.”
My jaw dropped as my eyes widened considerably. “No! He’s scum. What kind of person does that to their best friend’s sister ?”
“The kind of friend I didn’t want.”
“Of course, yeah.” I added softly, “Still, it can’t have been easy losing the best friend you’d ever had. That’s huge, Jeff.”
He touched the sleeve of his sweater over his forearm. “It was. But nowadays, I don’t need close friends or have time for them anyway. I don’t miss it.”
“I’m kind of the same,” I lied. Because it was actually my social anxiety that kept me from making many friends—not a lack of time. And not a lack of need.
Before he could ask any questions I wouldn’t want to answer, I searched my brain quickly for a new subject. “Lila is great, you know. And I have to admit, you’re a great dad to her,” I blurted out, feeling my cheeks heat up.
His eyes met mine for a long moment before he spoke softly. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I replied, offering what I hoped was a friendly smile.
His warm gaze stayed on me for a few more seconds before he looked down at Lila, sleeping with her head on his lap and snoring softly. He gently ran his fingers over the strands of hair that escaped from her ponytail. “I should probably go carry her to her room. ”
“Oh, I should—it’s probably time to go home anyway,” I said while hastily rising to my feet and nearly cursing at the numbness in one foot. I wiggled my toes and bent my feet as I waited for the feeling in my foot to return.
“That’s fine,” he said, a note of something in his tone. Was it reluctance or relief? He rose to stand in front of me. “Thank you for coming.”
I offered a warm smile. “Thank you for inviting me and cooking and … all of this. It was really generous.”
His brows furrowed. “Generous?”
“I mean, you know. Everyone felt bad for poor Roxy, so …” I trailed off and shrugged.
“That’s not—”
“It’s OK, really.”
“Listen, it’s really—"
“Let’s not end a nice holiday with arguing. Deal?” I smiled wistfully.
He stared at me and shifted one foot in front of the other. “Deal. Goodbye, Roxy.”
For some reason, my preferred name sounded different on his lips. Different how? I couldn’t decide, but it wasn’t different bad . But I had to get out of there because I was obviously tipsier than I realized.
“Bye, Jeff.”
After walking the short distance home in a daze and just barely dodging the neighbor Jenna going into the elevator, I entered my apartment and threw my keys and purse on the kitchen counter.
As I removed my coat and shoes, I tried to resist the urge to go open my laptop and check to see if Danny was around.
I’d already learned it wasn’t a good idea to talk to him while under the influence.
But after changing into my pajamas, I found myself opening the chat on the computer. He was offline but had left a message.
CastGamer55: I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving, Mindy.
I smiled like an idiot and typed back a similar response. He was thinking of me today! Even though he said he’d be busy all day with family.
Still smiling, I went to brush my teeth and wash my face. When my phone buzzed, I hurried to my bedside table where I’d left it. Scanning the text message, I found myself smiling again, but I was too tired to think about why.
Jeff: You forgot to bring home leftovers.
Roxy: You forgot to offer.
Jeff: Fair enough. Have a good night, Roxy.