Dance With Me (Circle of Friends #3)

1. I Hate Weddings

I HATE WEDDINGS

TARA

New Farm Park on a sunny Brisbane winter afternoon has long been one of my favourite places. Mind you, I’m not usually dressed quite so formally when I’m here.

“You ready, T?” My best friend Kylie grins at me, her long brown hair cascading over one shoulder in expertly styled soft waves.

My own long, red hair has been tamed into a similar style, but it doesn’t have quite the same effect as it does on Kylie.

Probably because Kylie is stunning. Her floor length, single shoulder emerald green dress skims her gorgeous curves, making her tanned skin and green eyes stand out even more.

While I am pretty sure my fat rolls are sticking out of the back of my identical dress, and my pale skin is basically glowing, as usual.

How is it possible that Kylie now lives in one of the coldest cities in Canada but can still maintain a tan, while I live in Brisbane, the capital of one of the hottest states in Australia, and I still look like a ghost?

Having spent over a decade trying not to compare myself to my friends, I’ve always struggled with my weight and appearance, so it’s near impossible not to feel like the ugly-step sister.

Especially in circumstances like this one where I’m wearing the exact same clothes as two of them and don’t look even half as good.

Behind her, our friend Morgan smooths the skirt of her own dress, looking just as stunning, with her blonde hair styled the same as ours.

She’s always had the supermodel look going for her, but add in professional hair and make-up, and it’s a wonder her husband can concentrate on anything else today.

You know what? I hate weddings.

As a twenty-seven-year-old woman, I know I’m not meant to say that.

But when you’re the perpetually single one at every wedding you’ve been to, the over the top displays of devoted love just serve as a constant reminder that all of your friends are happily shacking up while you’re adrift in a sea of shitty tinder dates.

Growing up, I looked to my future with rose-tinted glasses.

But over time, the tint darkened. Every guy I was interested in had inevitably lusted after one of my friends or my older sister, and I became like the main character in that movie The Duff .

Relegated to friend status while they pumped me for information on whether the true objects of their affections were single and if they’d ever be interested in dating the nice guy.

I was lucky to be surrounded by a tight knit group of friends that included my sister, Annelisa, and her boyfriend, Will, who was like an older brother to me.

Then she up and left him brokenhearted, and I was once again cast aside, avoided by the one guy who had seemed like he would never treat me like the others had.

I’ve been single for pretty much my entire life.

Except for a brief three-month relationship in my early twenties with a guy who was on the rebound and eventually realised he’d rather be single like the rest of his mates than shackled to the woman who was ready to finally be in a committed relationship.

I have never had a one-night stand, so I’ve slept with exactly one guy…

At twenty-seven… Let that sink in for a moment.

My dildo gets far more action than I’m willing to admit .

So yeah, I hate weddings.

And the hardest part about this particular wedding is that the bride, Bri, is one of my best friends, which means I’m in the damn bridal party.

So I have had to paste on a smile for the last several hours while we’ve posed for the usual pre-wedding photos, and helped Bri get into her beautiful dress.

The torture is now about to continue while I walk down the aisle with Kylie, and her brother, Will.

Yep, the same Will who essentially ignored me after my sister abandoned him.

He’s now standing near the faux flower wall that hides us from view of the wedding guests, watching us both patiently while we gather our bouquets and do the last make-up and hair checks and wait for our turn to head down the aisle on the other side.

When the music starts, Morgan and her husband, Chris, take the first steps out past the wall, heading towards the groom - the last member of our circle of friends, Jake - who is waiting at the temporary altar next to the rose garden.

Bri’s Mum is a few steps behind them, holding the lead of Bri and Jake’s little dog, Maddie, who is their ring bearer.

Although my mood isn’t particularly stellar right now, I have to admit that is freaking adorable.

Making sure my expertly crafted fake smile is firmly in place, I nod towards Kylie. “Yep, let’s go.”

With a final look back at Bri, who gives us a nervous smile, we take our places on either side of Will, each slipping a hand in the crook of his elbows before stepping around the wall.

Will and I have reached an understanding.

We pretend there are no issues between us when we’re with the group, and I completely ignore him the rest of the time.

He tried to apologise for how he treated me in the wake of the break-up with Annelisa, however it was a case of too little, too late for me.

But because we’ve been putting on such a good show of being fine, Bri and Jake hadn’t thought it would be an issue to have the two of us walking down the aisle together on their big day .

At least Kylie is here to draw the attention off my tight, fake smile.

The three of us reach the altar, and Kylie and I join Morgan, while Will moves to stand with Chris and Jake.

All three men are extremely attractive. Each one of them is tall with varying shades of brown hair, and the black suits definitely work for them.

The nervous groom is staring intently at the flower wall, waiting for the love of his life to appear with her father.

The look of anticipation on his handsome face sets off a feeling of envy that I immediately force myself to squash down.

No use dreaming about something that just doesn’t seem like it is going to happen for me.

Despite my anti-wedding sentiment, I have to admit that my best friend is an absolutely stunning bride, and I hold my breath while I watch Jake’s face transform once Bri steps into view.

I’ve known the two of them my entire life, and aside from Chris and Morgan, I can’t imagine two people more perfect for each other.

For years, I watched, mostly silent, while they danced around each other, but I’d like to think that my encouragement helped Bri to finally make the move to go from friends to lovers.

And it was all worth it to see the look of pure love on both their faces right now.

Once Bri arrives in front of Jake, it’s hard to imagine a more beautiful couple.

Wearing a simple cream, figure-hugging lace dress, with her long blonde hair styled into a sleek bun behind her right ear, Bri is the picture-perfect bride, straight from the pages of a bridal magazine.

Coupled with Jake’s brown hair, tanned skin and blue eyes, the pair of them are basically Barbie and Ken brought to life.

There isn’t a dry eye amongst us by the time the ceremony is over, and everyone applauds when they are declared husband and wife.

Their kiss is full of emotion, which has me feeling both thrilled for them as well sad for myself that I’ve never had someone look at me like they are looking at each other .

Several hours later, once we make it through the photos and are finally at the reception, I can feel the cracks in my mask of happiness starting to show.

They’ve booked out the function room at one of the luxury hotels in the city, and it’s expertly decorated with tropical plants and flowers, fitting in with Bri’s love of gardens. Everything is perfect, but I’m reaching my limit.

“You okay?” Kylie asks, taking a seat next to me at the bridal table.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I smile at her, but obviously something on my face gives me away.

She cocks her head to the side. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I’m fine, I promise.” I reach out and squeeze her hand.

“You two look gorgeous.” Kylie’s boyfriend, Seth, slides in beside her.

Kylie grins at him. “Thanks, babe. You look pretty hot yourself.”

The tall Canadian definitely looks good in a suit. Well, he looks good in anything, really. Kylie and I met him and his best friend, Lincoln, on an under-thirties tour around Europe two years ago, and it was pretty much love at first sight for the two of them.

Bri and Jake had timed their wedding so that it was in the hockey off-season, which meant Seth, the captain of the Calgary Mounties NHL team, could come with Kylie, and it’s great to see them both together.

It’s been hard, having my best friend move to the other side of the world, but seeing her so happy makes it worth it.

It also just makes me wonder if it will ever be my turn to have someone make me feel the same way.

After making it through dinner, the speeches and the first dance, once everyone has entered party mode, I finally have the chance to step away unnoticed for a little while.

Slipping into the decadent bathroom, I stand in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection for a moment, wishing that the person staring back at me looked different.

Even with professional hair and makeup, it can’t make me love myself like I’m supposed to.

Years of being surrounded by women who may as well be super models has given me a healthy dose of low self esteem, something that I am working on.

But it’s not easy, and I wish I could meet someone who I wasn’t worried wanted to be with one of my friends or sister instead.

One of Jake and Bri’s friends from Stanthorpe stumbles drunkenly out of one of the stalls, and I turn, ready to catch her if she falls.

“Oh hey! You’re one of the bridesmaids!” she declares, and I stifle a laugh while I nod. “Which one of those fucking hot groomsmen are you going to be hooking up with tonight?”

Too shocked to hold the laugh in this time, it comes out in a splutter. “Um, definitely neither of them. One is married and the other is my sister’s ex.”

“Oh, well, better not let all the fancy hair and makeup go to waste. Plenty of other guys at this wedding for you to get laid,” she continues babbling on while she washes her hands, before touching up her lipstick.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to be happening. Been a very long time since any guy was looking at me for a tumble between the sheets.”

She pauses, the lipstick hovering over her lips while she looks at me in the mirror.

“Honey, that’s all the more reason to wake those lady parts up and rip the suit off of one of the single men out there. I plan on going home very satisfied after the trip to the city, once I work out which one is coming back to my hotel room.”

She shoots me a cheeky grin before heading back out to the party, and I shake my head, wishing I had even half her level of confidence.

Sighing, I push the door open and pass the hotel bar on the way back into the ballroom. I pause at the doorway, watching my friends dancing away happily. Even Will is smiling, although I’m aware he is probably feeling just as lonely as I am amongst the many happy couples.

A lump forms in my throat, and I can’t seem to make myself cross the threshold. I’ve had enough of playing pretend today.

Turning, I head back the way I’ve just come, and find myself standing at the door of the bar. I’ve never been much of a drinker, but after a day of too much lovey-dovey fun, I could go for a cocktail right now. The sweeter, the better.

I take a seat at the long bar, looking around for the bartender.

The room is almost completely empty, aside from a couple sitting in a corner booth with their heads together, and a rather attractive guy with wavy reddish-brown hair about my age sitting at the other end of the bar, scrolling on his phone with a beer in front of him.

The bartender appears from the door leading out the back and smiles at me. “What can I get you?”

I glance at the cocktail menu before closing it. “Can I have a pina colada, please?”

She nods and gets started on putting together the fruity drink.

“They not serving cocktails in that posh wedding?” I look over to see that the guy on his own has moved closer, standing just a few stools down with his beer in hand.

Up close, it’s hard not to notice how hot he is.

He’s wearing a blue button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and a pair of dark blue jeans.

His short beard, cut close to his jawline, seems to be something that I find attractive, based on how dry my mouth has just become.

I’m going to put my body’s reaction down to the fact that it has been far too long since I’ve had sex.

Usually I’m pretty oblivious, but right now, my lady parts have woken right up and are doing a little dance while I hold his gaze.

Clearing my throat, I shrug a little. “Maybe they are. I didn’t check. Just needed a bit of a break.”

“Not a fan of weddings?” He sits down on the stool beside me.

“Not so much. But when it’s your best friends, you gotta put on the big smiles and be happy for them.” I wave my hand over my dress.

“Ah, let me guess. Maid of honour?”

I shake my head. “No, thankfully. Her sister took that joyful job. But I got to walk down the aisle with my sister’s ex-boyfriend, so that was fun.” The bartender places the drink in front of me, and I wave my phone over the bank machine to pay.

He tilts his beer towards me, the universal sign to cheers him. I tap my glass to his and take a sip.

“Sounds like you’ve had a hell of a day.” He rests both arms against the edge of the bar.

“It wasn’t so bad,” I concede, feeling a little guilty about how bitter I sound.

“I’m glad it all went well for them. They are the sort of couple who deserve only good things.

Just hard being the single one at every wedding.

” It must be something about him being a complete stranger that has me speaking so candidly, but it feels good not to be pretending for a change.

“I get it. I haven’t really been to many weddings, but I was single at all of them. It’s hard watching everyone else live their lives when yours feels like it’s standing still.” He’s put into words what I haven’t been able to say out loud for a few years now.

“Yep,” I reply, the P making a popping sound, while I stare at the drink in my hand.

“Want a drinking mate?” he asks.

I turn to look at him, running my eyes over his face. He seems genuinely interested in talking to me, which sets off a swarm of butterflies in my stomach.

Attempting to appear casual, I shrug. “Sure… Why not?”