29. My Turn To Talk Now
MY TURN TO TALK NOW
AIDEN
Part of me is still waiting to wake up and find that this moment between Tara and I is just another case of my imagination running wild. Because there is just no way that this goddess of a woman is lying before me, her eyelashes lowered, while she looks up at me from the bed.
Something had come over me when we first started this, and I’d tapped into the confident side of myself that rarely shows its face. But now, knowing that she’s not been with anyone in four years, all I want to do is make it as enjoyable as possible for her.
Moving up her body, I settle between her legs and press a soft kiss to her neck.
She shifts slightly, rolling her head to the side while she raises her hand to run her fingers through my hair.
The urgency between us has shifted to something softer, and her breath puffs gently against my cheek when I slide a hand between us and ease my finger back inside her, a little gasp coming from her that is music to my ears.
I lean on my elbow and watch her face while I move my hand back and forth, learning which spots to press and how fast to go by how her eyes roll back in her head and what pulls those little moans from her lips.
“Aiden, please,” she whimpers, her eyes almost completely closed while she arches off the bed.
“I got you,” I reply, lowering my lips to hers to kiss her softly.
She kisses me back, and I guide myself inside her, easing in slowly. She’s tight, even after two orgasms, and I move my hips in slow, shallow thrusts until I feel her relax a little more.
She wraps her legs around my waist and pulls me in close while I pick up the pace, but still hold my weight off her, scared to hurt her.
“You won’t break me, Aiden,” she says, bringing her hand up to cup my cheek.
I let out a deep breath and begin thrusting harder. She meets each one of my thrusts, raising her hips and digging in with her heels. I groan and lean down to kiss her hard, my control starting to slip.
She throws her head back against the pillow and arches into me while a third orgasm rips through her, and she pulls me along with her and over the edge.
Moaning her name into her ear, I thrust a few more times until I’m completely spent, and we cling to each other while our hearts race together, and the enormity of what has just passed between us comes crashing down onto us both.
After I’ve caught my breath, I shift slightly to look down at her. “Are you okay?”
She nods, biting her lip. “Yeah, I’m okay… Wasn’t quite expecting the night to go like this when we came up here.”
She sounds wary, and I feel a prickle of apprehension. We’ve just crossed a line, and there’s no way we can go back now.
Moving off her, I grab my boxers on the way into the bathroom to discard the condom, giving her a moment to sort through the emotions that are running over her face .
Once I’ve cleaned myself up and pulled my boxers on, I splash water on my face and stare at myself in the mirror.
What is she thinking? Is she regretting this already? Shit, have I fucked everything up?
Letting out a breath, I steel myself for whatever reception awaits me on the other side of the door and head out.
Tara is sitting up now, having pulled up the sheet to cover herself, clutching it to her chest.
“Um… bathrooms free,” I say, immediately kicking myself for how lame that sounds.
She gives me a tight smile. “Okay… would you mind turning around?”
I nod, turning and grabbing my clothes while she makes a run for the bathroom.
Unsure whether she wants me to leave or stay, I take a seat on the couch after I pull on my jeans and stare at my hands while I wait for her to come back out.
After what feels like the longest time, she emerges, wearing one of the hotel robes.
“So… Um… What now?” she asks, looking as confused as I feel.
“That’s up to you… I can leave? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable…”
Please don’t tell me to go.
She bites her lip again, running her eyes over my face.
“Was it… Was I not good? You can be honest. I don’t have any expectations of you, I know I pretty much threw myself at you, and you probably felt like you had to sleep with me because I’m so pathetic and have only been with one guy my whole life,” she rambles.
I can see she’s working herself into a full on meltdown.
Getting to my feet, I move to stand in front of her while she keeps talking, seemingly convinced that it was just a pity fuck. She finally stops talking when I push her hair back behind her ear and cup her cheek, shaking my head.
“Okay. It’s my turn to talk now.” I place a finger over her lips and she stares up at me with wide eyes.
“Firstly. You were amazing. I don’t care how many men you’ve been with before me.
And you didn’t throw yourself at me, I kissed you first, remember?
I only said I would leave because I was worried that I’d fucked everything up between us and now you didn’t want to look at me again.
I’m feeling just as nervous about how you’re feeling as you clearly are about me.
So how about this? We get into that bed together,” I say, pointing to the bed, “and I hold you until you fall asleep? We can talk about what we both want from this like adults, and whatever happens, we don’t let this affect our working relationship? ”
She lets out a breath, like she had been holding it through my entire monologue, and nods. “Yeah… We can… We can do that.”
I’m not used to this side of her. She’s always seemed so certain of herself, but right now, the vulnerability on her face is almost heartbreaking. But I feel honoured that she’s letting me see it, without putting on a show for me.
“Do you want me to turn around so you can get into your pyjamas?” I ask, pointing towards the pile of clothes next to her pillow.
She lets out another breath. “Do you want to turn around?”
“This feels like a trick question… If I say no, are you going to call me a perve?”
That finally gets a laugh out of her. “No, Aiden. I just… I’ve never really been naked in front of a man properly before…”
I stroke my thumb over her cheek. “If you’re comfortable with me seeing you naked again, then I won’t turn around, but the ball is completely in your court. But just to be clear… I think you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I don’t want you to hide from me.”
Her eyes are wide, full of emotion while she swallows hard. She steps back and carefully pulls the sash of her robe, letting it fall open. Not wanting to make her feel even a little uncomfortable, I keep my eyes locked on hers, letting her take the lead .
She reaches up to slide her right arm out, followed by the left, and the robe pools at her feet. Now it’s my turn to swallow hard while she steps around me and moves to the bed.
I strip off, knowing that if I stay clothed, that will make her even more self-conscious.
I’ve never had a sexual encounter like this one, but this feels like the most important moment of my life.
Standing here with this woman who is trusting me when she’s at her most vulnerable.
.. Another man might crack under the pressure, but all I want to do is hold her and make her feel safe. And wanted.
Joining her between the sheets, I hold my right arm out, inviting her to cuddle up to my side. She hesitates for a moment before resting her head on my shoulder while draping her arm over my waist. I pull her closer and press a kiss to her forehead, relieved when I feel her relax against me.
After a moment, she lifts her head and looks at me. “Thank you.”
I stroke her cheek before cupping her face. “You don’t need to thank me for anything. I want to be here.”
Her eyes glisten for a moment, and I can tell she’s doing everything she can to hold back her tears. She nods and rests her head back down. I run my hand up and down her back.
After a few minutes, my curiosity gets the better of me. “Can I ask you something?”
She hesitates before answering. “Okay.”
“You mentioned you’d only been with one person before now but had never really been naked with anyone, and it was four years ago?”
“Yeah?”
I pause, trying to find the right words. “Was he not… Did he hurt you? Is that why you’re cautious?”
She shakes her head. “No. We were only together for a few months, and while he never hurt me, he had his own issues. We were only together a few times. I think he thought I’d been holding off on having sex until marriage, and felt like it was too much pressure.
But really, it was just the fact that no one else had ever wanted to sleep with me before him.
But he wasn’t in the right headspace for a relationship, so it didn’t last. And there’s been no one else since then because of the reasons I’d told you about that first night I met you.
Men only wanted to talk to me to ask about Bri or Kylie. ”
I let out a long breath, giving myself time to respond.
“I don’t know that I agree with that. I won’t pretend I know what it feels like to believe that no one wants me for who I am, but from my perspective, all I’ve wanted since I met you was to truly get to know you.
For who you are, not for your friends. And I can’t be the only man who can see how beautiful you are, both inside and out.
Bri and Kylie seem nice, but I was drawn to you.
Is it possible that, over the years, you’ve built up this belief in your mind that people feel that way? ”
She’s quiet for so long that I’m worried I’ve taken it too far.
Finally, she speaks, her voice contemplative. “Maybe you’re right… I’ve never considered that maybe it was my mindset that was keeping people at arm’s length.”
“Well, I’m not claiming to be an expert on how the human mind works, but if you ever need someone to remind you how amazing you really are, I’m your man.”
She laughs a little. “Thank you.”
I brush my lips against her temple. “You’re welcome, Love.” The endearment slips out, and I cringe, sure this is going to be the moment that she wants me to leave.
“I like it when your British side comes out,” she says, biting her lip as she smiles. Another minute or so passes before she speaks again. “Will you… Will you stay with me tonight?”
I pull her closer and kiss her temple again. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to. ”
Eventually, I feel her relax against me completely, her breathing evening out when she finally falls asleep. The lack of sleep the night before, along with our recent activities, has me exhausted, and I allow myself to drift off with my arm wrapped around her.