Chapter 39
The lights inside Rendezvous came on just as Bente opened the door. The staff were already busy. Ellie was behind the bar arranging glasses. Tonight they were open only for friends and employees.
Bente hadn’t yet worked out what she was going to do with the place, and still hadn’t given Hanna a definitive answer one way or another.
In Bordeaux she’d thought she’d decided, but over the past few days she’d received multiple inquiries about appearing on various TV shows, and she felt incredibly flattered.
She was reluctant to say no now that a new TV career was knocking at the door.
If she was going to run the bar for Hanna, she wanted to do it wholeheartedly.
As she walked over to the bar, her mother popped up from behind the counter. She had found a bottle of vermouth, which she set down with an air of triumph. Hanna emerged from the kitchen carrying a bundle of paper straws, and a moment later dropped one into a ready-mixed cocktail.
“Hi.” She smiled at Bente. “I’m trying to persuade Ellie to let me mix cocktails here once a week. A kind of guest appearance. She’s just tasted my Manhattan.”
“I have,” Ellie said with a somewhat strained smile.
Hanna passed her mother the tall glass with the straw. Agneta closed her eyes and took a sip. “So. Delicious.”
Ellie gazed at the two of them, then looked at Bente. “I’m amazed that you managed to become a sommelier with those genes.”
Bente grinned at her friend, who slipped behind the bar and took a bottle of sparkling wine out of the refrigerator.
Bente picked out two ordinary wineglasses—they both loved to drink their bubbles that way.
Ellie opened the bottle—a crémant from Alsace that was going to be their house fizz.
She filled the glasses and they toasted each other.
One of the kitchen staff put on the opening-night music playlist, and then the first guests arrived—Lydia, as well as Uno and Mirja, who were happily reunited.
A few minutes later, the place began to fill up with families and friends of the staff.
There were light bites on offer, along with bubbly, wine, and beer, plus Hanna’s cocktails.
When Elnaz walked in wearing a black sparkly long-sleeved dress, Hanna whistled appreciatively before greeting Elnaz with a kiss on the lips. Bente knew they were dating, but she had no idea how serious it might be at this stage.
Elnaz came over with flowers for Bente, and gave her a hug.
“You look fabulous,” Bente said.
“Thanks—I’m going on to TV24’s summer party. You’re not coming?”
“No, I wasn’t invited.”
“Would you like to come with me? I have a plus-one—my sister was supposed to come, but she dropped out.”
“I don’t know . . . Maybe I ought to be here.” Bente gestured with her arms wide. She didn’t really want to leave the celebration now, and of course she knew that Didrik would be at the party.
He had called, had left a voicemail message saying he wanted to see her and talk. He had something important to say. She hadn’t called back. Hadn’t wanted to talk. He was the one who had asked for time to think, so time to think was exactly what he was going to get.
Then she had received a text message yesterday.
I’m back in Stockholm, have been trying to call you.
She assumed that he thought she wanted to go to the party, and had found that quite hurtful. So she had ignored his text. And she had no intention of going to the party. If she saw him there, she wouldn’t be able to keep her distance, which she was determined to do.
Hanna drifted over and served Elnaz a Manhattan, which she accepted with apparent reluctance.
“I’m trying to drag your sister along to the TV24 party.” Elnaz took a cautious sip.
“Good idea—Didrik will be there, won’t he?” Hanna grinned.
“I assume so.” Elnaz looked inquiringly at Hanna.
“It’s just that Bente has been very down since she got back from Bordeaux.”
“Why? I thought the research went really well. All the material you sent was fantastic. I’ve already got a team cutting together your video clips to make a little teaser.”
“That’s not why she’s down—it’s because of Didrik.” Hanna sounded serious, but there was a mischievous glint in her eye.
“There’s something going on between the two of you, isn’t there?” Elnaz asked.
“There was. I don’t know . . . We broke up in Bordeaux.”
“But why? You’re perfect for each other.”
“I don’t think so. He’s popular, loved by the public, he’s got a fabulous TV career. And he really wants children.”
“Okay, so he’s popular with the audience, but he’s a perfectly ordinary guy, which is what I like about him,” Elnaz said.
“I’m not . . .”
Was Elnaz right? She knew Didrik, possibly better than Bente did, and Bente was well aware that she could be a little stubborn sometimes. After all, Didrik had only said that he needed time to think.
“Look, why don’t you come to the party? It might be good to do a little networking with people in the industry.”
And Didrik, Bente thought. She would have the chance to see Didrik. She’d been avoiding him. But what if he wanted to tell her something good, something she wanted to hear? She didn’t have to start dating him again . . . But if he was there, she could at least listen to what he had to say.
She smiled at Elnaz. “Okay—why not?”
Two hours later they arrived at the venue Cirkus in the Djurg?rden district, where they were met by velvet drapes, happy party guests, and twinkling lights.
Everything seemed to shimmer—sequined dresses, spotlights, jewelry, shiny hair, and smiles fired off toward the clatter of flashing cameras.
Bente searched among the faces but couldn’t see any sign of a historian in tweeds and round glasses.
She stayed close to Elnaz as they made their way to their seats for the evening’s entertainment and awards ceremony.
They had a good view of the stage, and when a young guy who Bente vaguely recognized from a children’s show went up to receive the award for TV24 profile of the year, the audience’s enthusiasm seemed boundless.
Drawn in by it, Bente applauded energetically.
It was clear that the winner was very popular, but she had very little idea of what he’d actually done.
At that moment she realized how far she had drifted from this volatile, ever-changing world.
New stars had come along, others had disappeared.
This was not the place for her anymore, not really.
During the intermission, Elnaz was swallowed up by a gang from the production company.
She introduced Bente to them, but once Bente had finished talking about her show, she couldn’t think of anything else to say, and started to wonder how the evening was going at Rendezvous.
Had a lot of people shown up? And what if Hanna and Mom were engaged in some kind of cocktail-making competition.
That was a terrifying thought—they would scare all the clients away. No one would come back.
She kept on looking around, hoping to spot Didrik. Had he changed his mind about coming? What the hell was she doing here anyway?
Was it too late? What if he’d given up? She should have dropped her guard long ago, let him get close to her instead of keeping her distance. Standing in the middle of this crowded room, she suddenly knew just how much she missed him.
All at once the hum of conversation grew louder. There was movement farther down the room, and Bente tried to see what was going on.
Then she saw the suited figure making his way through the crowd.
Her heart began to pound. Not a hint of tweed, but instead a dark-blue, well-fitting suit.
The thick hair had been combed, but was still doing its own thing.
This was definitely Didrik, confidently entering the venue like the popular star he was.
He met her gaze, and a shudder of pleasure ran through her entire body. She stood there frozen to the spot. She couldn’t stop staring. He was looking straight at her, no one else.
He was beaming as he hurried over. “Bente! I hoped you’d be here. I’ve called you, messaged, I—” He broke off, took both her hands in his, and looked her up and down, from top to toe. “You’re so beautiful. Unbelievably beautiful.”
Her cheeks were on fire, she looked away. “Thank you.”
He put his hand under her chin, tilted her face up to his. “I want to apologize for . . . everything. Above all I want to say that I don’t know what I’m doing.” He drew her closer. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her forehead.
Seeing him like this, hearing him like this, made every last scrap of anger melt away. Her whole body felt soft. She just wanted to be hugged, to inhale the intoxicating smell of him.
“I don’t know what I’m doing either,” she said. “What we’re doing.” She laughed, then became serious. “I don’t want to change you. You’re perfect just the way you are.”
“I know you don’t want to do that. I know, I know.” He took a deep breath. “And that’s why I’m so in love with you. Because you want me exactly as I am. And it’s not just that—you’ve made a real effort for me. Opened up, shared your thoughts and feelings with me.”
He placed his hand over hers. “What’s so fantastic about you is that I don’t have to pretend.
I can just be myself. I thought I needed to change and look to the future so that we could be together.
But the thing about you is that you give me space, all the space I need to be myself.
You bring out the best in me, Bente.” He glanced around, seemed not to notice all the curious looks.
“I apologize for all the dumb things I said. About the party.” He closed his eyes.
Shook his head as if he were trying to erase the memory of his stupid question.
“I was searching for some way to validate the insecurity I felt. I don’t even know why I asked the question.
Maybe because I needed to focus on some practical detail, because I couldn’t bear the thought of us splitting up.
I can be kind of pragmatic and solution oriented sometimes—I need to work on that. ”
He smiled his wonderful smile and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, causing her to shudder with pleasure at his touch.
“Bente, will you please continue dating me? My life is richer than it’s ever been when I’m with you.
I have never been more sure of myself and what I want.
Every day I spend with you is a fun day.
Until now, I’ve been blinded by all kinds of expectations, by how it seems things ought to be.
With you I feel so secure, even though I never know how the day is going to turn out.
Children aren’t important—being with you is important.
We can take every day as it comes. The main thing is that I get to be with you.
” He spoke quickly, desperate to get the words out, then fell silent.
Bente smiled. “You’ve said everything I need to hear.”
“Everything?”
She nodded. “I’ve also been carrying my own insecurity; it’s blinded me, held me back.
That’s why I’ve been on my guard, but when I opened up to you, I felt .
. . safe.” She paused. “I felt safe because I knew you could help me, and you have. Taking that first step was tough, but once it was done, I felt a sense of calmness, because I knew you’d handle things in the right way. Because I thought you’d stay around.”
“And then I said I needed time to think . . .” Didrik said.
“And then you said you needed time to think.” She smiled. “But that’s okay. You’re here now.”
He rested his forehead against hers as she continued talking.
“During the last few days I’ve done a lot of thinking, too, about how I want to live my life,” Bente told him. “It’s been so hard to find my place. But now, with you . . . I think I know my place and where I ought to be.”
He looked into her eyes. “So what is your place?”
She gazed around the room. “Not here, anyway. It’s been there all along, I just thought I needed something more, when in fact I’m perfectly satisfied with what I have right now. Especially with you.”
Didrik kissed her, deeply and for a long time. Then he said: “Let’s get out of here.”