Chapter 7
Grim
I push open the door to the small staff break-room and head straight for the coffeemaker.
It’s early. The first patient of the day is busy getting vaccinated. I have a few minutes before I’m needed again. Might as well get some caffeine in my system.
I place my insulated travel tumbler on the counter. The thing is beat to hell, dented and scratched, but it keeps my coffee hot, so it’s perfect.
I grab the cream from the small fridge and set it beside my cup, then reach for the coffeepot.
The door opens behind me.
I glance over my shoulder and see one of the nurses walk in. It’s Autumn. I know her name because I checked yesterday after my failure to make any kind of connection with Emma. I took two patients to Autumn yesterday, watched her work, and tried to gauge if she might be approachable.
I didn’t try to be friendly with her because I wasn’t sure I could pull it off.
Last night, like a colossal idiot, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror for twenty minutes, practicing smiling. Then, I did it again this morning after brushing my teeth. The result was the same both times: I look like a serial killer trying to lure children into a van with promises of candy.
My smile is broken. Completely fucking broken, like the rest of me.
So I’ve decided on a new strategy. No smiling. Just being kind and helpful and asking questions. Sally said it has to be authentic, and there’s nothing authentic about my nightmare-inducing smile.
Autumn is petite, with black hair pulled back in a braid. She moves toward the cabinet where the mugs are kept, but I clear my throat before she gets there.
“Coffee?” I ask, gesturing to the pot.
She stops and looks at me, surprise crossing her features. “Oh. Um. No, thank you. I only drink herbal tea.”
Herbal tea. Who chooses to drink herbal tea when there’s perfectly good coffee available?
I keep that thought to myself and nod. “Okay. Herbal tea, huh?”
No answer.
An awkward silence fills the room. She’s still standing there, and I’m still standing here, and I need to say something else. Something normal. Something that doesn’t make me sound like a complete idiot.
“Are you hungry by any chance?” The words come out before I can think them through. “I have a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in my car. You can have one if you want.” I point with my thumb toward the general area.
Why did I do that? I can eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches any time of the day, but it’s really a lunch item.
Her eyebrows lift. “Oh. That’s…nice of you to offer. But no, thank you. I don’t eat peanut butter.”
I’m not sure we can be friends.
I turn back to the counter. I have to do something…anything. I open the cupboard and take out my box of Lucky Charms. Perfect. Everyone likes Lucky Charms, right? They’re my favorite.
I grab the box and shake it, the sugary cereal rattling inside. “What about some cereal? You look hungry.”
Autumn is looking at me with that expression. The one I’m starting to recognize. The one I’m starting to fucking hate.
It’s the look that says, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“No, I’m good.” She takes a step backward. “Thanks, though. I already had my green smoothie. It was packed with micros you won’t believe.”
Micros? What the hell are those?
“You sure? This is really good. Have you tried it?” I shake the box again.
“I’m very sure.” She’s edging toward the door now. “I try to avoid sugar. Spikes your insulin.”
I think I look at her in much the same way she looked at me not so long ago. Nope, I don’t think Autumn and I can be friends.
What I want to do and what I have to do are two separate things. At least she’s being nice to me. She hasn’t run away yet, which is saying something. I have to try harder. There has to be some common ground.
What do people talk about? Sally said people talk about the weather. I’ll try that.
“So…” I set the cereal box down. “It’s hot today.”
“It’s always hot here,” Autumn says.
“Right. Yeah. Mmmmmmm.” I nod like this is some profound observation.
The silence stretches out again, somehow even more uncomfortable than before.
Autumn starts backing toward the door. “I should probably—”
“Do you need something?” I interrupt because I’m an idiot. “From the break-room, I mean. Surely, you came in here for something.”
She stops, her hand on the door handle. “I’ll just…I’ll come back later.”
Then she’s gone, and I’m alone with my coffee and my complete inability to function like a normal person.
I groan and thunk my forehead against the cabinet door.
This is a disaster. An absolute fucking disaster.
I’m no closer to befriending a nurse than I was yesterday. Emma thinks I have a screw loose. Autumn must think the same. The other nurse…um… Shit…I forgot her name. Crap! Yeah, it isn’t working with her either.
At this rate, I’ll never get access to those vaccinations. Drake is going to be so disappointed. Shadow is counting on me. So much hinges on this, and I’m inept.
Let’s face it, I can’t even offer someone a bowl of cereal without making it weird. Maybe offering someone cereal is weird in itself. I’m not sure. I think it’s okay, but then what the heck do I know?
The door opens again.
I lift my head from the cabinet and turn, ready to apologize to Autumn for being a complete freak, but it’s not Autumn.
It’s Wren.
And she smells incredible.
Like vanilla and something sweet that makes my dragon take note. The fucker can go back to sleep. This is not something he should be reacting to.
“Good morning,” she says, her eyes moving to the coffeepot.
I grunt in response.
She moves past me to the fridge, and I catch another whiff of her scent.
Yum.
She’s not wearing her white coat yet. Just jeans that hug her curves in a way that makes me want to groan, and a soft blue sweater that makes her eyes look warmer. Her brown hair is down today, falling past her shoulders in gentle waves.
I force myself to look away. To focus on pouring coffee into my travel mug.
“Oh!” Wren’s voice is bright with genuine enthusiasm. “I love Lucky Charms.” She picks up the box and shakes it. “I even love the sound the cereal makes inside the box.”
I grunt in agreement because I like it too. When she puts the box down, I take it and shove it back in the cupboard.
I don’t offer her any, even though I want to. Wren is a no-go. I can’t be friends with her either.
Not happening.
My coffee is ready. Time to get the fuck out of here.
Wren picks up the pot and pours herself a cup. “There is only one thing better than the smell of coffee in the morning.” When I don’t say anything, she goes on, “The taste of coffee in the morning.” Then she groans, the sound shooting straight to my cock.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I nod once.
She gives me a shy smile and then turns around toward the fridge. Then she opens it, leaning inside.
Holy shit! My eyes are instantly glued to her ass and the way those jeans mold it. I shift my weight, my pants feeling tight all of a sudden.
I need to leave, and right now.
Instead, I watch as she stands, a tub of strawberry yogurt in her hand. Her top is tight around her chest. Fuck me, but she has great tits.
She looks like the sweet female next door, but with a body that— I need to stop this line of thought. More importantly, I need to stop looking at her like a stalker.
I grab my travel mug and head for the door, keeping my eyes straight ahead.
“Have a good day,” she calls after me.
I grunt one more time and escape into the hallway.
I can’t befriend Autumn. I can’t befriend Emma.
And I sure as hell can’t befriend Wren, because apparently my body has decided she smells like heaven and my dragon wants to roll around in her scent like a damned puppy.
My dragon wants to roll around with her full stop, ideally with my cock inside her.
Fuck no!
I can’t!
Drake is going to kill me.
I’m going to kill me.
I head back toward the reception, where Sally is probably already lining up my next collection. I can focus on work. That’s something I’m actually good at.
Unlike making friends.
Unlike being nice.
I’m so fucked.
Drake is going to have to find someone else. I’ll resign and find another job. No! I need to pull myself together. I refuse to be a failure. It’s Day Two; I can’t give up so easily. I’ll figure this out. I have to.