Chapter 6 Bullseye
T o say that I was skeptical as Ethan parked the car in front of this particular establishment would only be a minor understatement.
“Did you bring me here to… kill me?” I feigned laughter that did a shoddy job at hiding that sliver of sincerity in my tone.
Ethan’s quiet chuckle filled the stiff air in the car. “Your sister said the same thing when I brought her here on a date once.”
I nodded along and unbuckled my seatbelt as he did, trying my hardest to picture Monica stepping foot in a place like this… and failing. She preferred the classic dinner and a movie or being taken to fancy bars with soulful music and live bands.
“How’d she like being taken here on a date?”
Ethan squinted into the sunlight, tilting his head with an admitting grin. “She liked the next date a lot better. I lost track of how many times she threatened to lob me in the head while we were here.”
“I didn’t even know places like this existed,” I commented as I stepped out of the car.
“A lot of people love coming here. It’s a great way to get out some anger or in your case, stress. That’s initially why I started coming here.”
“Throwing axes is your stress reliever?”
Slamming shut his car door, he smiled a mischievous smile at me from over the top of the car. “Among other things.”
Thank God the sun was so bright that day and Ethan was wearing sunglasses or else he might have seen the blush I knew followed his teasing comment. It was stupidly unfair how easy it was to make my face flush with any emotional state that wasn’t calm.
Damn my fair skin. Damn it straight to Hades.
I followed behind Ethan as he walked inside and stood behind him as he squared away the payment.
My fingers found busy work with themselves as I looked around the room at all the blades lining the walls that held my own petrified expression in their reflection.
I’d never been around axes and knives like this before, let alone in this quantity.
My stomach felt like I’d just stepped into a horror film and knew I wasn’t ‘final girl’ material.
“You ready?”
My stare flew up to Ethan’s as he spun to face me, and already, I could feel the unease sitting heavy in my eyes. Never in my life did I think I’d be throwing axes willy nilly, but here I was, and I wasn’t about to chicken out now in front of him.
A new life meant new adventures, right?
“As I’ll ever be.”
Ethan walked us back through a narrow hallway until we reached our very own blocked out space with walls on both sides and a fenced in wall behind us. About twenty feet away was a circular, wooden target.
“All right, so the goal is to get as close to the center of the target as possible. Seem easy enough?” Hesitation cut right through me as if with one of the many blades surrounding us.
“Can I watch you do it first?” I peered up in search of his stare, only to find him already looking down at me with a crooked kind of grin.
“Sure, but fair warning—” That crooked smile of his turned smug as did the glint in his bright eyes. “I’m stupidly good at this. Don’t be too intimidated.”
“Your humility is much appreciated.”
Before anymore could be said, Ethan was reaching for one of the axes on the table to the side.
He wound his long fingers around the base of the axe and unintentionally, I held my breath as I waited for his next move.
My breath was as steady in my lungs as his hand was that held the blade still.
His focus was admirable, like any one of the dancers I’d worked with.
If those dancers wielded life-threatening axes, that is.
In the next few seconds, I watched as he drew his arm back, lined up his target, and then the axe left his hand with so much force, I had to gasp.
“What!” I exclaimed, not even thinking about how rude I might sound as I looked straight down at the target.
Dead. Bullseye.
“How did you do that?!”
“Like I said,” Ethan swiveled his confident stare right over to mine. “I’m very good at this.”
“You’re like a lumberjack! Just without the beard or… flannel.”
Ethan’s teeth seemed to literally sparkle as he showed them off with a spectacular smile. “I used to have a short beard, actually. I still think about growing it out sometimes.”
“Oh no, Monica hates beards.”
His smile dimmed just the tiniest bit. “I know.”
“All right,” Ethan clapped his hands together and shared a look of excitement with me. “Your turn.” He walked down to the target at the end and yanked his axe out of the bullseye before strolling back and handing it to me.
My wrist bent as the weight of the blade pulled it down.
“Wow, it’s a lot heavier than I thought it would be.
” Lifting the axe back up to eye level, I examined the razor sharpness of the blade’s edge and my heart pounded just a little harder.
It was so sharp. It was deadly. I was holding a deadly weapon in my hand.
What the heck am I doing?
“Wow. This gives new meaning to a deer caught in headlights.” My head turned in the direction of Ethan’s remark with embarrassment furrowing through my eyebrows.
“You look terrified,” he laughed.
“I am! This thing could kill someone!”
“As long as you don’t chuck it at my head, I think we’ll be just fine.”
“What if it slips?”
“Hold on tighter.”
“My palms are sweaty!”
“TMI?”
A groan overflowing with annoyance vibrated through my chest as I let it out, dropping my head back and squeezing my eyes shut.
“Listen, this is supposed to de -stress you. Not stress you out more. We can leave if you want.”
I knew he wasn’t saying it to goad me on. Truly, there wasn’t even a hint of challenge in his voice as he offered to leave now. He wasn’t trying to push me, but his words were doing the job anyways.
If we left, it meant I failed. Sure, it was just some silly little axe throwing, but if I backed out before doing it, it gained so much more meaning than just that.
I’d failed a lot over these last three months.
I failed my relationship. I failed to keep the guy I was in love with in love with me.
I failed to stay strong enough to watch him love another woman.
Even today, I failed my first day at a new job.
I’d been nothing but a failure over the last many, many days.
I needed a win. However small or large, I needed a win today. I needed a win now .
Breathing air into my lungs, they expanded with a determination that reached out through my chest and locked in a tight grip around my hands that held the axe.
Lifting my eyes up, I leveled them right on the poorly painted bullseye down at the end.
My heart thumped to a steady beat that it, itself, composed as I raised my arms up over my head.
Waiting for the right beat, the right moment, I held myself still.
Then, with a tenacious battle cry, I threw it as hard as I could—
—and it flew about five feet in front of me, sticking straight out of the ground.
Ethan’s burst of hilarity went off behind me immediately following my humiliation.
Heat washed through every inch of my body as I stood there, staring down at the axe sticking half-way out of the dirt ground.
An ache pinched in my sternum, and I swallowed down whatever emotions were trying to rise up.
I wouldn’t cry. Don’t cry.
Ethan’s fit of laughter continued, and all I wanted was to run. I wanted to turn and run past Ethan’s mocking laughter, through the front doors of this place, and never stop running until I got somewhere safe. Somewhere that didn’t make me feel so small.
“That was epic,” Ethan managed through his unending amusement. “God, I wish I had a video of that.”
Feeling like I was either going to burst into tears or burst into flames my skin was so hot, I spun around without ever meeting Ethan’s gaze. I knew I couldn’t look at him without tears in my eyes, and I didn’t want him to see how upset I was over something so silly.
“Hey,” Ethan’s voice followed me down the hallway. “Hey! Alice, wait!”
“I’m just going to the bathroom really quick,” I threw over my shoulder and quickened my steps as the faintest of quivers stitched into my voice.
“ Alice .” A large hand wrapped around my bare arm and tugged me back around. Before he could see my face, I dropped my head as low as it could go. Already, I could feel the pity burning the backs of my eyes and hated myself for it.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah! Just, uh, needed to use the bathroom.”
A few seconds passed between us in silence.
“Will you look at me?”
His voice was so soft all of a sudden, tender even as he implored me to do the one thing I couldn’t do.
“I’m fine. Just needed a second is all.”
Tears pushed harder against my eyes as his thumb brushed over my arm where he held me. “Please look at me.”
Too many emotions to number swarmed through my stomach as I knew I couldn’t deny him a second time. Blinking as rapidly as I could to gather up any evidence of would-be fallen tears, I finally met his gaze.
Even though I thought I did a good enough job hiding the proof, I knew in an instant I was sorely wrong. As soon as Ethan’s eyes latched with mine, his entire face creased with open regret, and I was being pulled into his chest.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed,” he mumbled next to my ear as he hugged me into him, and that was all it took. Soon, my cheeks were wet with shame, and I buried my face into his shirt to hide the fact that it was happening at all.
“It’s okay! Really. I—” I hiccuped. “I’m being dumb. This really isn’t a big deal at all. I’m just being stupid.”
“No you’re not. I was being stupid by laughing.”
“No, you weren’t. It was funny!” I said, willing the tears to stop flowing with every fleeting second. “I would have laughed too. Really, it’s fine.”
“I feel awful.” God, this is humiliating on so many levels.