Chapter 11 Toeing the Line #2
“Yeah, so? I don’t see why that’s important.”
At this, Ethan’s eyes fell back down to mine and paused there for just a moment. Within that small moment, his concentrated stare burned up any oxygen left in my lungs and left me breathless.
“Just is.”
He severed his overwhelming eye contact as soon as he started it, directing his attention to his phone as he pulled it out of his back pocket. “Shit.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Monica’s sick. She needs me to come get her.”
“Oh no. Is she still in the bathroom? I can go get her.”
“No.” Ethan slid his phone back into his back pocket. “I really don’t think she’d want her little sister seeing her like this.”
And there it was. The subtle reminder of my place. Sure it was true, but that didn’t mean I enjoyed being called anything with ‘little’ in the name
“Here’s my card. Just go cash you guys out and I’ll meet you out front.”
“Uh, okay.”
I took his card between my fingers, holding it uncertainly to match my increasing feeling overall. Ethan gave me just a quick glance before heading off in the direction Monica left in, leaving me all by myself.
Being alone was never something I’d been good at. The anxiety was already balling up in the center of my chest with the unrelenting sensation that everyone in the club was now watching me.
I walked up to the bar, flagging down one of the bartenders and gave them Monica’s name.
We already had a tab open and Ethan giving me his card was pointless even though I was too stunned to say it at the time.
I was only up at the bar for twenty seconds at most before the feeling of everyone staring at me became two sets of stares zeroed in on me in that restless kind of way that makes you squirm in your shoes.
“There’s no way you’re here alone tonight,” the first of the two men off to the left of me said. I glanced over at him, giving him a polite smile.
“No, I’m here with my sister.” Then I steered my attention back down towards where the bartender was, willing them with my mind to cash me out faster.
“No boyfriend?”
This was the second of the two men, and there was an unavoidable excitement to his tone.
Crap.
I hadn’t gone out much since Jonah and I broke up, and he’d always been my buffer between creepy men. I didn’t even think to make up a lie about being here with a boyfriend like I should have. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
All the alcohol I’d taken in tonight soured in the pit of my stomach as the two men split, one taking up my right side and the other closing in on my left. Both of their colognes mixed in front of my nose, suffocating me with their scent of aftershave and desperation.
“You cashing out for the night? I think my buddy here would love to buy you another drink.”
“Yeah. I’ve got an early morning.”
“How about you stay just a little bit longer?”
My body stiffened up the spine as the man on my right came in closer to mirror his friend on my other side.
I was trapped. I was literally trapped in by these two strangers and no amount of longing stares sent towards the bartender only fifteen feet away was doing me any good. Thinking quick, I nabbed my phone out of my purse.
“No, I have to go home. Thank you for the offer though.” Another kind smile handed to each of them.
Under the bartop, I opened up my phone and scrolled until I found his name.
“Come on .”
I couldn’t fight down the gasp that escaped as one of them knocked their shoulders into mine. Trying to do so without drawing attention, I scooted my leg so it wasn’t touching his and typed a quick message on my phone and sent it.
“I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me tonight so my buddy brought me out for a few drinks.”
“I’m trying to prove to him that not all women are sluts,” his buddy took over talking. “And then we run into you and you, well…” I didn’t have to look. I could feel his stare on my body like a leech, unwanted and pulling my nervous blood to the surface of my skin.
“You’re drop dead gorgeous and so much hotter than his ex.” He laughed and on the bar, he inched his hand closer to mine. “You’re a lot hotter than either of our exes, I’m pretty sure.”
“Uh, thanks.”
Now, I was visibly uncomfortable and I knew they could tell. They had to be able to tell, right? Where was Monica? Where was Ethan? I’d always had someone to rescue me from these situations. Now, I was alone and totally and utterly helpless.
“If you don’t wanna stay here and drink, we could always go back to my place. It’s not far at all.”
“I’m okay. I’m just gonna go home.”
“Well, where’s home? We could go with you,” one of them suggested.
By now, it wasn’t a question of if they could tell I was uncomfortable, but a fact that they were just ignoring it.
Every inch of my body was crawling with high-sensitivity nerves, and I just wanted to go home.
I hated how close they were. I hated how little they cared that I’d said no several times by this point.
I hated that I still felt like I had to be polite to them no matter what they said to me.
My spirit soared as soon as the bartender walked my way and slid the bill to me on the bar. Picking up the pen, I signed a tip and Monica’s name and that was it.
“I’ve gotta go. Sorry.”
Turning around to leave, my heart dropped through my stomach as one of the men stepped in front of my path to leave.
“Come on, we’re just having fun. One drink? Then you can go home.”
“No, my ride is waiting. Excuse me.”
An audible gasp sucked between my teeth as an arm snaked around my waist and they pulled my body into theirs. Fear was now an authentic emotion inside me, clawing up my throat in the form of an awaiting scream as I turned my head to come face to face with the man who had me in his grip.
“How about a goodbye kiss before you go then? To mend my broken heart?” His face was so close I could smell the whisky on his breath. Desperation pumped through my veins as I turned my head to the men, my breathing coming out in fast pants.
“I have to go now. Please.”
“Just give me that kiss and I’ll let you go.”
The man who had me in his tight grip smiled a sinister smile and then, as his face neared in is when the fear inside of me exploded out.
“NO!” I screamed and thrashed my body, not caring an ounce how much attention I drew or how much I embarrassed myself. “Let me out! Now!”
The arm around my waist slipped free and the man in front of me stepped to the side, holding his hands up in surrender with a horrified look on his face. I nearly fell away from the bar I ran away from them so fast.
My ears picked up a ‘crazy bitch’ as I was making my escape from those two, but I didn’t stop to correct them. I didn’t stop until I was outside the club, in the night air, and next to Ethan’s car.
“What took you so long?” Ethan asked the moment he saw me.
Monica was already in the car, her head up against the window and mouth open as she slept. Still trying to catch my breath and draw a line between the dots of what just happened, I just shook my head.
“Nothing. Lets go. Now.”
I took Ethan off guard by the looks of it at my clipped request, but he didn’t question it. We both got in the car, him in the driver’s seat and me in the back, and we drove home in silence.
The entire ride home I was holding in my emotions.
This was the first time I’d gone out in this city. The first time I was left alone for just five minutes on a night out. Five minutes of no one watching me. No one to turn to when I needed help. Not a boyfriend or best friend to save me from the advances of other men.
Tonight… I missed Jonah.
Admitting to myself that I missed Jonah was a new low that I didn’t even know existed.
I never thought I’d actually miss him, but tonight I did.
I missed having him there by my side, keeping me safe.
No one messed with me when he was around.
Tonight, without anyone there, those two men grabbed me and harassed me like I was there to be their play-thing.
I was powerless against them, and on my own, I was useless.
When we arrived home, Ethan’s attention was all on Monica as he got her out of the car and into the house. I followed behind them both, helping where I could and not saying a word. Ethan carried Monica to their bedroom and I went to mine, sitting on my bed and began taking off my shoes.
A gentle knock on my open door pulled my attention.
Ethan stood there with an indiscernible expression bowing his features and his phone in his hand. “Are you okay? You were quiet on the ride home.”
Swallowing down the ball of emotions that had formed in my throat, I nodded. “Just tired.”
Ethan stayed staring at me but said nothing for a moment. His expression turned with worry as he lent his gaze to his phone in his hands.
“Why’d you text me ‘Can you help’ when you were in the club?”
The ball of emotions I’d jammed down seconds before formed once again and expanded, taking over almost all of my ability to speak.
“It’s nothing.”
“Did something happen?” he pushed, his tone deeply serious.
Feeling the tears pressing against the backs of my eyes and knowing I wouldn’t be able to keep them away for much longer, I got up off of my bed and went over to my door.
Everything inside of me was crumbling, dropping blocks of pain and sorrow into the pit of my stomach, and each one hurt more than the last. I was mere seconds away from a complete breakdown.
Placing my hand on my bedroom door, I fixed my eyes to Ethan’s. His beautiful stare was speckled with worry as I stood there, knowing he could see the tears that had already found a home in my eyes.
Something had happened and he knew it now. Still, how my voice sounded next didn’t give away anything. In reality, how I sounded when I spoke was like the color white—when every color in the world is mixed together it creates a total vacancy of color.
When you do the same with every emotion known to man, you get the same result, only the emptiness of color is in your voice like it was in mine as I responded to him.
“Nothing happened.”
And then I shut the door.