Chapter 13 An Uncertain Turn of Events #2
I honestly didn’t think he had it in him.
“I just want to spend time with you, Monica. But you make it so fucking hard to do sometimes.”
“You are spending time with me right now, and how are you choosing to spend it? Fighting! That’s not on me.”
“Oh, so it’s on me for being upset that you’re leaving again ?”
Leaving? I’m sorry, what?
“It’s on you for making a big deal out of it when this is how it’s going to be for the rest of our lives! Work is my life and it’s what makes me happy. Why can’t you ever see that?”
There was a pause in their argument. Then, in a voice dipped in more sadness than I knew was possible for such a man, he spoke again.
“Why can’t I be enough to make you happy?”
On the steps where I sat, I gulped down a gasp of cool air as the impact of his words caved my chest in. Within that one sentence, my mind ripped back to a memory of when I felt the same way with the person I loved so much it hurt, and all they gave me in return was more unforgettable hurt.
I remembered hating not being enough for someone.
I still hated that feeling.
“You are enough. I’m happy with you, and I shouldn’t have to remind you of that every time I go on a work trip. You know that I… I love being with you.”
“If that was true and you wanted me to know that and to feel that, then you wouldn’t be leaving. You would have come inside today when we went to drop off dinner for your sister.”
My ears perked as they mentioned me.
“That was your idea, Ethan! I only came along because you asked me to. Isn’t that enough?”
“No! I want you to want to come. She’s your sister, Monica. I only suggested we go so that we could get out of the house and you could get off your goddamn computer for twenty minutes.”
Okay, so the initial gesture wasn’t as sweet as I assumed, but that wasn’t important.
“That’s it. I need a break.” Terror clenched my stomach in a tight fist as her words came through the door.
A break?
“I’m going outside for a smoke for a few minutes to cool down.”
The panic in my gut reached out and squeezed my lungs with a gasp as Monica’s footsteps neared closer to the door that I was currently eavesdropping behind. Two seconds later, the front door opened, my stomach lurched, and Monica walked outside.
Her stare immediately fell to mine. Somehow, I must have pulled off looking as ashamed as I felt for listening because she didn’t even question me or yell. She just sat down next to me.
My nose scrunched in anticipation as Monica flicked her lighter on, burning the end of her cigarette a bright orange. I never liked it when she smoked or when anyone smoked for that matter. She told me she only did it when she was really stressed, but I still wished she wouldn’t.
“How long have you been out here?” She pulled the cigarette away from her lips, blowing out a stream of smoke against the black night.
“Just a couple minutes. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
Looking over the bridge of my nose at Monica, she nodded slowly. “Sorry you had to hear that.”
“It’s really no big deal. Couples’ fight.”
“Yeah.” She took another drag of her cigarette. “Ethan and I always have the same fight.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s always about my job. Every fucking time. Like it’s the only thing he knows how to be upset about.”
Thinking back to that one moment with Ethan over a week ago in the kitchen and now this, I was beginning to see an unfortunate pattern between the couple.
“What about it upsets him?”
Monica chuckled and the sound of it was so cold, I held my arms around myself a little tighter. “Everything. The hours, the clients, the work trips.”
“But he’s working up to be in the exact same position as you? Shouldn’t he understand?”
“One would think!” She dropped her head back and looked up at the sky. My eyes followed hers so we were both staring up at a midnight sky where every twinkle of a star had been plucked dry. All we were staring at was a vast blanket of darkness.
And the night turned quiet.
I wanted to breathe in the sweet smell that always came with a crisp night like this, but I didn’t want any of Monica’s bitter cigarette smoke in my lungs. So, I just sat there, my neck craned up at a void of pitch black, breathing shallowly.
If it weren’t for the porch light, Monica and I would’ve been in total darkness.
“It sounds like he just wants to spend more time with you.”
Truthfully, how was that a bad thing? I would have loved it if Jonah begged me to spend time with him instead of escaping away as often as possible.
Monica shifted around, blowing her smoke off to the side. “He thinks being in a relationship means we need to spend a shit ton of time together, whereas I think it’s being there for the important moments.”
“Can’t it be both?”
“Not with my work. You know that. And he knew that too at one point. Just seems like he’s forgotten how hard I’ve worked to be where I am.”
I doubted that was true, but I wasn’t going to say anything.
“I’m leaving at the end of the week for a work conference in Washington.”
“I heard.” I paused, letting Monica finish her next pull of her dwindling cigarette before asking, “Is that why he’s mad?”
“It’s why he was mad this time. Who knows what it’ll be next time.”
Ouch.
Tonight I was seeing a whole different side to Ethan and Monica’s relationship.
One that every couple had, but liked to pretend didn’t exist outside the walls of their house.
Unfortunately for me, I lived inside of those walls and now had to face the fact that no couple was without their issues and that included my perfect older sister’s.
“How long will you be gone?”
“A week. Shouldn’t be any longer than that.”
I wanted to react as harshly as I felt and shout out that a week was a long time to up and leave suddenly, and that maybe Ethan wasn’t totally wrong to be upset about it.
I certainly was. I was actually really upset about it.
I wasn’t prepared for a week without my sister.
I wasn’t prepared for a week alone in this house.
I most definitely wasn’t prepared for a week alone with Ethan.