Chapter 32 Admitting Defeat Never Felt So Good
I kissed Ethan with a freedom I never thought we ever would.
His lips unraveled the worries, the shame, and the will to ever stop. Never had I thought admitting defeat could feel so good, but every pull of Ethan’s mouth with mine proved me wrong. He kissed me and kissed me and I never wanted him to stop, not even to breathe.
We had each other now, and there was nothing in the room powerful enough to make us surrender our hold on this moment. We were nothing but skin, and sighs, and dreams come true.
I gave myself to every little moment Ethan created between us, memorizing each of them as they came and went.
Both of his hands wrapped the sides of my face almost completely, his deep, uneven breathing fanning across my face as he drank every bit of me.
His lips moved with mine, greedy and with his whole heart crafting each one of his kisses.
The feeling of his tongue sliding my swollen lips apart was almost too much, especially as a memory rushed forward from a time in this very apartment when I feared I would never get to taste this sort of Heaven again.
The memory of that fear pounded in my heart and I opened up to him, crying out as I touched my personal Heaven once again.
He was too perfect, and I was on a sensory overload of Ethan. His taste, his touch, his scent were all too intoxicating, and I was embarrassed to admit that I was barely keeping up. Thankfully, Ethan smoothed his mouth down my chin to pepper in hungry kisses across my jawline.
“You’re perfect, you know that right?” he whispered when he got to my ear. “You know how I know you’re perfect?”
“ Ethan .”
His name was a plea from my lips, begging him to stop with his nonsense before he spilled the tears that were quickly welling behind my eyes.
I tried to blink them away as fast as I could when Ethan pulled himself right in front of me, effectively drowning me beneath the waves of endearment roaring in his stare.
“I know because every time I see you, every time I touch you… everything makes sense again.” His thumb stroked down the edge of my face sweetly, as sweet as the look in his eyes directed right at me.
“Nothing’s confusing. My world isn’t spinning anymore.
It has a center and a bright light to focus on…
and how can someone who brightens the whole world not be perfect? ”
My heart was overflowing with a feeling I was too frightened to name, and that feeling grew stronger and more imposing the longer Ethan dared to look at me like he’d never been closer to perfection in his life.
Unable to take anymore, I dragged his lips back down to mine.
I would never think of myself in the perfect light that Ethan did, but the passion exchanging between our souls and through our lips was absolute, and that was a fact.
Our passions owned us, shackles and all, and the realization that I never had a chance at winning this fight came as swiftly as the acceptance of it. Ethan and I were on this unstoppable ride together, hearts clasped as we rode our way down to hell.
Tugging his body tighter to mine, a whimper of need fell from my lips as his erection pressed unashamedly against my stomach. If possible, I clawed myself closer to him, digging my nails into his back in any desperate attempt to tell Ethan how badly I needed him right now.
A warning rumbled in Ethan’s chest and in a punishing display, he tore his lips away from mine.
My eyes batted open and up to his, worried and sorry if I’d hurt him at all.
Though, staring down at me was nothing to be sorry or worried for.
Even though his noise sounded threatening, the show in his eyes was nothing short of aroused-
And promising.
“I know what you want, Slim.”
Big hands grasped my thighs and lifted my body up, securing my legs around his waist in a movement so brisk, I barely registered it until I was sitting at eye level with Ethan, his excitement pressing right against my pelvis.
“I want you to say it,” he spoke, hooded eyes waiting for my answer.
His command smacked right across my chest, exploding butterflies of nerves inside of me as I dropped my head into the crook of his neck.
“I can’t.”
For a moment, Ethan didn’t respond. With my face tucked into his neck, he walked until I was being lowered and comforting cushions pillowed my back as Ethan laid me down on the sofa.
He came back into view and I braced for the imminent displeasure that I was sure would be written into his face thanks to my shy response.
Yet, when I finally saw him, he didn’t look surprised or disappointed. He looked like that’s exactly the answer he was waiting for.
“I know.” He nodded, threading his fingers back and through my hair. “It’s because you’re pure.” His stare devoured every inch of my face that it could touch, his breath tasting of anticipation as he leaned in.
“You’re so fucking pure.”
Ethan touched a kiss to my lips before abandoning them to move lower.
The anticipation that he’d breathed into me swelled like the rise of a song as I peeked down, catching a glimpse of his dark head of hair traveling low.
His mouth was soft and determined, caressing open-mouthed kisses down my body, and every bit as skilled as I dreamt it would be.
He could create art with his lips alone, and my body was a willing canvas for his use.
My eyes slammed back shut at the feeling of his mouth just below my navel and so close to where I never thought he’d be. It wasn’t until Ethan’s fingers wound around mine and gave them a gentle squeeze that I even realized I was trembling.
“Do you want to stop?” His voice tickled the small goosebumps along my stomach.
“No,” I replied quickly, shaking my head.
Movement in front of my closed eyes fluttered them open, and as they did, I found him—the man I swore not to love—holding my hand against his cheek and staring down at me with affection bright in his eyes.
“Then why are you trembling so much?”
I matched his sincere affection with a batch of my own in a soft whisper.
“Because of how badly I want you.”
Euphoria fanned up across his face until it beamed, catching my stupid heart by surprise. I knew what a look like that meant, and it still didn’t stop me from letting him press a kiss to my palm and stain my skin with inescapable poison.
That poison pulsed through my veins and down to where Ethan’s hands pulled at the button of my shorts.
The button gave and next the zipper, letting Ethan drag them down my thighs with my underwear hooked around his thumbs.
He stripped me bare of the final layer between us, and the realization that I was naked from the waist down in front of Ethan slapped across my face like a punishing gust of wind.
The only thing keeping me from covering myself up was the man kneeling in front of me and the spellbound shine to his eyes as he took me in.
Ethan swallowed hard, a stream of breath blowing between his lips and hitting right across my bare core.
Tingles ran up my spine, arching my back with the feeling of even just his breath on me.
“Ethan,” I gasped his name, curling the sofa between my fingers. “ Please .”
I knew that I should have been ashamed by the unbridled desperation to my voice, but I wasn’t.
All I cared about was Ethan and how he touched me, where he would touch me, and how much longer I’d have to wait in this unbearable limbo for him to touch me.
Every other care I maybe should have had was a barely registered blip across a mind famished for the man I had all to myself just for now.
Ethan knew it, too. He knew we had to act fast before the bubble we created for ourselves burst and the consequences of our reality showered down on us.
Yet for now, in our little bubble, Ethan drug his lips up the inside of my thighs like there was no reality outside of ours and nothing in the entire world outside of the two of us.
My breaths had turned into wild panting as his mouth worked up my thigh, coming in closer and closer.
His fingers wound around my ankle while he tasted my skin, filling himself of his beloved cherry-scent while he lifted my leg up and over his shoulder.
I squeaked like a woman depraved as hot breath teased how near it was, prickling the pressure between my legs to something almost painful.
“Oh Go—” Ethan’s mouth ripped the rest of my sentence from existence as it finally covered me, and the line between us was effectively erased for good.
A graveled moan hummed in Ethan’s throat, his fingers’ grip around my thighs squeezing tight as he savored me for the first time.
My eyes screwed shut as his tongue slid against me, testing and teasing, taking his time unfurling our deepest desires.
A swirl of his tongue around my sensitive bud bowed my back against the feeling, and already, I could feel an ache growing in my lower stomach.
Sharp bites of breaths pushed and pulled between my lips as Ethan built me higher, quicker than anything I’d ever experienced before.
His mouth was relentless on me, sucking and licking and obliterating any expectations I might have had.
He flattened his tongue against me, lapping my heat and kissing it sweetly, devouring me like he’d starve to death without me.
“Ethan, I—” My shame nabbed onto the words I was trying to say to him and held them hostage, robbing me of any momentary bravery. Instead, all I did was arch my head back over the top of the couch like a coward and wordlessly enjoy the orgasm that was building inside me.
Ethan’s mouth disappeared at a sudden moment, and a needy whimper raised in my throat. Before I could protest, two fingers pressed at my entrance and I gasped as they squeezed inside of me, burning my need to climax deeper than ever before.
“Look at me, Alice.”