Chapter 35 Barely Surviving #2
“Uh…” In a thoughtless move, I looked to Ethan for help. He wasn’t looking at me though. He was too busy burning holes through the floor to be of any aid. “About a month ago?”
Why did it matter? Why did she care? Why wasn’t Ethan able to look at either of us anymore?
I turned my focus back to Mary, searching for answers and a way out of this conversation going nowhere good.
I wasn’t sure what I expected to see from Mary as I looked to her, but it certainly wasn’t the big wide smile that stretched across her face, aimed right at me. Bright, warm, confusing as all heck.
“These pictures are really beautiful.”
I blinked across the room at her, shocked by her sudden kindness. No. Kindness wasn’t even the right word. She was happy—elated, even.
“Thank you,” I breathed. “Your brother did it all though. He’s really good.”
“Yeah.” Slowly, Mary strolled over to Ethan, handing his camera over to him with a knowing light burning in her eyes. “He is.”
Ethan’s hand wound around his camera, clinging to it.
Mary’s hands settled over his, offering a comfort to her brother whose defeat petrified his body.
He was the epitome of crestfallen, and the cure for his sadness scorched through my veins, hot and demanding.
I could cure his sorrows with a couple words, a couple kisses, a couple sacrifices.
The cure singed my heart and I flinched, acknowledging its punishment for the fact that I would do none of the couple things I could to heal this heartbroken man.
Just as the tension in the air was turning uncomfortable, Monica’s voice came from around the corner, followed shortly after by Monica herself.
“Babe? My dad needs help getting the turkey platter down from the cabinets. He’ll never admit that he needs help, so you’ll have to sort of trick him into it.”
Ethan left to go help my dad, passing between Monica and I on his way out. In his absence, he left behind a cloud of discomfort that even Monica picked up on.
“Everything okay?” she questioned.
“Oh yeah.” Mary’s ponytail flipped onto her shoulder as she shook her head, almost like she was shaking the heavy moment with Ethan from her body. “We were just reminiscing about our dad and the lake.”
“What lake?”
The question came out of Monica’s mouth, and immediately, I wanted to run. The need to run as far away from whatever conversation was about to happen tingled through my body, all the way to my toes as they wiggled and stretched, preparing for my great escape.
Those tingles intensified to pin pricks jabbing at the heels of my feet as Mary’s mouth popped open, but no words came out.
She cocked her head to the side, eyes jumping to mine for the briefest and most nauseating second of my life.
In that miniscule connection, she managed to encapsulate the entire downfall of my existence as I knew it.
In the blacks of her eyes, she held the truth of my lies and the fate I could suffer for them.
Now I knew why Ethan walked out of here with defeat hanging his face and shoulders low.
Because Mary knew our dirty little secret.
Somehow, simple pictures from a lake ratted us out and now, I had no idea what Mary would do. Ethan knew his sister, but I didn’t. I had no clue what the strange glint in Mary’s eyes meant for me, and my heart slammed around my chest waiting for its reveal.
“You’ve never been to the lake?”
Mary directed her question to Monica, who poorly hid how uneasy Mary made her behind her glass of wine as she lifted it to take a distracting sip.
“I feel like if I say no, you’re going to murder me in my sleep tonight.”
“Oh, no.” Mary laughed Monica’s joke off with her, touching her fingertips to Monica’s shoulder. “It’s just that it’s Ethan’s favorite spot in the whole world and, to my knowledge, he’s never taken any of his girlfriends there before.”
The weight Mary applied to her revelation pushed down on my chest, making it harder to breathe. Ethan never brought anyone to the lake before, and then there was me. Unimportant, off-limits, hypocritical me.
Why did it have to be me?
“Oh well, Ethan didn’t do a lot of things before he met me.”
Monica’s tone implied a wink that I couldn’t see.
I couldn’t see her wink because I couldn’t see her at all.
In fact, I was trying my best not to look at anyone at all right now.
As soon as the first acceptable moment to excuse myself from this conversation arose, I’d snatch it up and go in search of some fresh air.
The air around me was polluted with clouds of deceit and palpable anxiety that burned my lungs, like I was inhaling fire instead.
Mary let go of a chuckle that vibrated with mocking humor. “Oh, I have no doubt about that.” Whether she was mocking me or my sister, I hadn’t a clue, but I didn’t like it either way.
“So, Alice,” With lungs quietly gasping for more than a shallow gulp of air, I looked to Mary. “Are you a part of the wedding party?”
Monica answered for me. “She’s my Maid of Honor. Though, the wedding is so small that she’s pretty much my Maid of Honor, Bridesmaids, and assistant wedding planner all wrapped into one.”
Mary’s gaze on mine, I watched as drops of sympathy splashed across the glass of her eyes. She looked genuinely sorry for me.
“Damn. That must be a lot to deal with.” And I heard her double meaning as she meant me to.
“Oh, she’s fine. The most she’s had to do so far was help put together the official invites and send them out. You and your mom got yours, right?”
“Yeah, I—Alice? Alice, are you okay?”
I nodded despite it being a lie. The lack of oxygen had filtered up to my brain and suddenly, the room was tilting to the side.
“Woah, hey!” Pricks of fingernails caught my arm, jolting me just the slightest bit back into focus.
My eyes tearing up to Monica’s, the worry painted across her face said I must have looked as bad as I felt.
Thoughts fought against each other, clashing in impacts so hard it rattled my brain against the sides of my head with each collision.
Pain spidered down my skull, sinking its nails in deep to the back of my neck and blurring my vision with spots of black.
“What-what the fuck is happening? Do you need to sit?”
“I-I’m okay. I just—” Eyes shut, I miss-stepped into the couch, reached my hand out blindly to steady myself.
“Ethan, get in here!”
“ No . I’m just light-headed. ”
Oh my god, please don’t pass out. Not here. Not right now.
“Have you eaten today?”
“Uh…” Think. Think. Think.
“If you have to think that hard, the answer is no.”
“What’s wrong?”
His voice came from somewhere behind me, curling over my shoulders to kiss my ears.
My body reacted to his presence with innate confusion, my heart trying to pull me back towards him while my empty stomach tried to bolt far away.
In the struggle, my stomach lurched and twisted itself, sending a spiraling wave of dizziness right up to smack my head.
A crowd of yelps cried out as my weight dropped backwards, the room turning to a blur as I fell.
Hands caught my waist and a wall of warmth cushioned my back, steadying me.
The familiar smell of fresh soap and embers hit my nose, spiking my mind with a pure shot of adrenaline as I pushed all the strength into ripping myself away from the touch of him.
“I’m fine,” I declared, the room blinking rapidly through my vision as I tried to rid the cluster of black spots that still remained.
“Alice, you’re not fine. You need to sit down!”
“Someone get her some water.”
“I’ll do it!”
Too many voices to catch whizzed by, spinning my head in their tornado of dizzying attention.
“I’m just gonna go…” My foot left the ground with every intention of stepping forward and leading myself upstairs to my bedroom to lie down. What I didn’t expect was to lose my balance in the exact same moment and again sink backwards.
“I got her.” For the second time, Ethan caught me with his hands around my waist and his head dipping beside my ear.
“I’ve got you,” he spoke, his words and tone softer than they should have been. “Just sit down, okay? Think about your ankle.”
“What about her ankle?” That voice belonged to Monica.
“She got hurt at the bar.”
“What? When?”
“Yesterday.”
Panic spread like manic wildfire across my chest with Ethan’s mention of yesterday. Yesterday should have never happened. I never should have exploded on that guy at the bar. Ethan never should have brought me home. We never should have given into each other and talked and kissed like lovers would.
“How did you know this and I didn’t?” Monica questioned.
No, no, no, no. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop.
“She couldn’t drive so I picked her up and took her home.”
The black dots in front of my eyes moved back between my ears and shoved themselves in deep. Their voices turned muffled, but their mouths still moved and Monica’s stare was locked on me.
Though their words were vocal blurs, the look on Monica’s face was as loud and sharp as a fire alarm.
Worry directed at me took over most of her expression, but beneath it lay a sliver of question that somersaulted my empty stomach into a tizzy of anxiety.
The black dots closed in, the fight in my muscles weakened, and the last thing I felt before I lost all consciousness was a lone tear sliding down the side of my face as I gave my last conscious breath to my sister.
“I called you first.”
And then everything went dark.