CHAPTER 20
Nirah
WAKING UP WITH a pounding headache, I irritably groaned, turning over onto my side.
I laid still for a while before sitting up with a defeated sigh. Rubbing my forehead, I froze, seeing a glass of water, a glass of orange juice—my favorite—and two painkillers. Oh. How thoughtful.
I dragged my body out of bed and headed straight into the bathroom.
I got ready for the day and downed both painkillers before heading to the kitchen.
I plopped down on the kitchen stool and could smell Rosalia and the rest of the staff cook up a literal feast.
“Mr. Antonio wants you to eat before you go and see him,” she said, and my stomach dropped.
“He wants me to ‘go and see him’?” I asked, and she nodded, putting a plate of food down in front of me.
“Yes, ma’am. Upstairs in his office. He needs to leave, so he wants you there before noon.”
I hummed, nodding in response as I slowly started eating. What happened last night? The last thing I remember is… fuck. I don’t remember anything.
I finished breakfast and washed it down with two glasses of water. I hesitantly got up and made my way up to his office. Please, don’t kill me.
I slowly opened the door to his office and saw him looking down at his computer. He leaned back in his chair and pulled out his cell phone. He dialed a number and brought the phone up to his ear. He spat out some Italian and as I walked in, his head shot up.
He pushed his chair back, signaling for me to come and sit on his lap. I was hesitant at first, but the look in his eyes dared me to disobey him right now—I was too hungover for that.
I sat down and he rested his hand on the low of my back. He finally ended his phone call and my heart hammered in my chest. Just calm down, Nirah.
“You wanted to see me,” I cleared my throat as he put his phone down on his desk. “Before noon,” I added but when I looked at him, he was not smiling. “Okay…” I trailed off. “You’re not in the mood for jokes. Noted.”
“Would you be if you had to bring your drunk fiancée home from a night out, after she danced with other men?” he asked and my brows drew together.
“Would you ever dance with other men?” I playfully asked and his expression deepened. “Sorry,” I quickly apologized, lowering my head.
“Why’d you sneak away from Cesar, Nirah?” he asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“Because I didn’t want him lurking around at the club with me,” I truthfully answered.
“And why did you go to the club?” he asked and I swallowed hard.
“Because I was mad at you.”
“And why were you mad at me?” he asked, making me scoff.
“You know why,” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“No. I don’t. Tell me why,” he pressed and I paused for a second.
“Because…” I awkwardly shifted.
“Because I still kept contact with Fernandina?” he finished my sentence for me and I shook my head.
“I don’t care about the women in your life, Antonio.”
“That’s a lie. Try again.”
In utter disbelief, I tried standing but he gripped my hips, holding me to his lap. “Try—Again.”
“What do you want me to say, huh?” I rhetorically asked. “I don’t like her. That’s it.”
He gave me a single nod and opened one of his drawers. He pulled out my handbag and relief washed over me. I took it from him and opened it, finding all my belongings. Except… my ring.
I chewed the inside of my cheek, feeling angry with myself. I dug my phone out, seeing multiple missed calls and text messages from Silvia, Jordan, London and Stephanie. I felt eerie, so I dropped my phone in my purse and stood up.
Antonio grabbed my wrist, stopping me. He opened his free hand and my heart dropped.
My ring . As I reached for it, he closed his hand, pulling back.
“I thought I lost it—Antonio, give it to me,” I said but he didn’t.
He simply stared up at me like he was thinking—hard—and I swallowed the lump of anxiety down my throat.
“Do you really want this?” he questioned and I nodded.
“Of course I do, what are you even talking about?”
“You didn’t want it, and told Silvia to give it back to me, so she did.” Shit .
“What?”
“And since you were so curious last night, yes , I did appreciate the lengthy reason as to why you hate me. Silvia made an effort not to leave out a single detail. You’d be impressed.”
I—No…
My stomach tightened into a knot at the thought of me asking Silvia to say awful things to him.
“Do you want this, Nirah?” he asked again, and my eyes stung with tears. I know he’s not only referring to the ring.
“I’m not here by choice, remember? It’s this marriage, or I’m hunted down by Sylvester so yes, I have to want this,” I lied.
I couldn’t let him hold even more power over me. “But, we made a deal, and I won’t back down now. It’s not fair to you,” I swallowed hard. “So, if you don’t mind, I’d like my ring back,” I put my hand out towards him.
“You can get the ring back when you tell me the truth,” he said, standing up.
“The truth isn’t always something you want to hear, Antonio. So, please. My ring.”
Staring back at him, something soft flashed in his eyes before it vanished—having been swallowed by darkness. He took my wrist, dropping the ring into my hand.
“We had an agreement,” he said and goosebumps rose on my skin
My voice was brittle. “Yeah, we did.”
I turned around and slipped the ring on before leaving his office. What did I just do…
I locked my bedroom door, throwing my handbag onto my bed. I rested my head back against the door, gently rubbing my chest.
A stinging pain of regret shot through my heart. Tears threatened to spill, but I fought back. Hard. I did it again. I hurt somebody who has been nothing but good to me God, why do I always do this?
I dragged myself to my bed, falling forward with my face pressed between my pillows. I squeezed my eyes shut, letting the guilt eat me alive. I rolled onto my back, feeling my stomach twist in regret. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, looking at the ring on my finger. “So, fucking, sorry, Antonio.”
* * *
After a long week of sulking, and not texting anyone back, I finally decided that I needed to get out of the house.
Antonio had made Logan my full-time bodyguard and disappeared the day after. When I had asked what happened to Cesar, he blatantly ignored me and continued talking to Logan.
After I threatened that I’d sneak away from Logan too if he didn’t answer me, he simply told me that Logan had been given ‘ special ’ instructions for when I tried that.
‘ Be my guest ’ was the last words he had said to me before leaving for a week.
Yes. A week. Has he informed me of where he’d be? No, of course, he hasn’t.
Logan and Rosalia had told me that both Silvia and Jordan came by the house a few times. Without my permission, they weren’t allowed inside, and I was thankful for that. I couldn’t see them right now… or anyone for that matter.
Coming up from the cold water, I pushed my hair back. I wiped the pool water off my face and resurfaced. I put both hands on the edge of the pool, lifting myself above water, then hopped up and sat with my legs still dangling in the water.
I stared up at the sky, admiring the twinkling stars and glowing moon. I smiled, feeling goosebumps spread across my skin.
I missed him so much. But, I let things get too far. I got attached. I let him in, and I promised myself I’d never let that happen. Not again.
My stomach twisted into a knot at the thought of things never being the same again. I ruined everything. He’s never going to forgive me. I dropped my head in regret.
The glass sliding door opened and my head snapped up.
“It’s six thirty, Miss Nirah,” Logan said and I nodded.
“Give me a second.”
He left and I wiped the water from my face. I had asked him to keep track of the time for me so that I could go to the club. I hadn’t been there in ages, and felt guilty about it.
After getting ready we finally left the house.
Logan was driving, and Undertaker— my second bodyguard — was in the passenger seat.
I didn’t care to learn his name with the horrible attitude he had.
The drive was silent, of course, because Logan was not supposed to get close to me whatsoever.
I didn’t have the energy to turn him into my friend—like with Cesar—because part of me still felt guilty.
Was he okay? Does he still have his job, or did Antonio fire him?
The guys followed me to my dressing room but stayed outside the door as I stepped inside.
I was immediately engulfed in Silvia’s arms as she cried. “Don’t do that!” she sobbed and I held onto her tightly. Her tears brought tears to my eyes as well, but I fought them back. “Don’t scare me like that ever again, Nirah,” she pleaded.
We stayed in each others arms for a little while until she pulled back, noticing my sadness. “What’s the matter?” she asked, pulling me down onto the couch.
It hurt so much I couldn’t talk, so she simply wrapped her arms around me in a comforting hug. When I had calmed down, I explained everything to her. All of it.
“How could you, Silvia? I was drunk.”
“Nirah, you threatened to do it yourself,” she explained. “I tried to talk you out of it, but it didn’t work. What I said was nothing compared to the awful things you wrote.”
I swallowed hard with a racing heart.
“The things you mentioned, Nirah… I’m not a big fan of the guy, but even I felt bad.”
My shoulders slumped. Shit . My feelings deep down were slowly resurfacing, and if I didn’t get them under control, I’d lose everything…
“So what happened after?”
“I lied. I said that I didn’t have any sort of feelings toward him and that I wanted us to continue being engaged because I made a deal with him.”
“Nirah!” she reprimanded and I sighed.
“I know… I know…” I admitted. “I fucked up,” I nodded my head with instant regret.
“Why did you lie?”
“Because I don’t know if he feels the same way, and I was not going to let him hold that over me—”
“He wouldn’t have—”