Chapter Thirty-One
F or a long time, I sat by Imogen’s side, holding her hand as I gathered the necessary courage to call my mother. It was late morning in Dublin. Even after a hard night at the bar Mum would be awake to pick up Finn from our neighbor and spend time with him. I hated to give her this horrible news.
Then, I remembered my frustration with Lorcan because he hadn’t told me and I dialed Mum’s number. She deserved to know.
After the second ring, Mum picked up, sounding a little rushed. “Aislinn, I dashed out of the shower to take your call. Are you okay?”
She worried constantly about me. “I’m fine. I—” I swallowed. “How’s Finn?”
“He misses you terribly, Aislinn. When are you going to return?”
I cleared the lump in my throat. “Mum, Imogen she—.” A sob rattled my body. All the emotions I’d been bottling up threatened to spill over. I had been so angry at Imogen, and part of me still was, but now none of that mattered.
Silence echoed on the other end of the line. “Is she dead?” The stark fear in Mum’s voice made me shudder.
“No,” I pressed out.
Mum let out a sob, then she cleared her throat.
I could picture her squeezing her eyes shut very hard as she always did when she tried not to cry.
In the past, that had happened very often.
Over the last few years, though, Mum had hardened to our reality.
Sometimes I admired her for her hard shell, sometimes resented her.
Now, I know better. I was on my way to being just like that.
“But, Mum, she’s not well. Not well at all.
There was an accident.” Why was I lying?
Hadn’t I just fought with Lorcan because he lied to me?
But I couldn’t bring myself to tell Mum Imogen had picked the wrong guy, a married criminal, and that he’d tried to kill her when she very likely blackmailed him.
Knowing Imogen that was the only explanation I had.
“She suffered some brain damage and is in a coma.”
Mum released a shuddering breath. “Did you talk to the doctors? Will she wake?”
I’d only briefly talked to one of Imogen’s doctors, but he offered little hope for my sister’s future, whether she woke or not.
“They don’t know. I’ll make sure she gets the best medical care and I’ll talk to her every day so she knows she’s loved. She’s a Killeen. She won’t give up without a good fight.”
“I should be there, with you, with Imogen.”
I bit my lip. I wanted her here, wanted nothing more, but I knew Mum ran away from New York for a reason. Even if Lorcan’s uncle was long dead, Mum might still have enemies here.
“If you want to fly over, Lorcan will pay for you and Finn. I talked to him. To him you’re family.”
“Family,” she scoffed, but then became quiet. “I don’t want charity, not from a Devaney. I’ll ask Sean if he can give me some money.”
I doubted he’d give her anything considering his reaction when I’d asked him for money, but maybe Mum had wrapped him around her finger again. “Okay. But we are paying for Finn’s ticket. No arguments.”
Sean had a successful business but he had a penchant for expensive Scotch, poker and vintage cars, so even if he decided to loan Mum money, he wouldn’t have enough to spare for Finn as well.
“We? Are you and Lorcan an item again?”
Mum’s voice was neutral. I froze, shaking my head then realized Mum couldn’t see it.
And would it really have been the truth?
Lorcan and I were still married. But he’d sent me away …
and now I was back and supposed to return to our apartment and maybe his bed.
Mum had never me ntioned the night I had spent with Lorcan though I could tell she’d known I had been with him.
“Don’t worry about me, Mum. I’ll handle everything. Tell me when you’ll be there.”
“I know you will, I’m just worried about what that means.”
I hung up, and took Imogen’s hand again.
Mum’s words kept repeating in my head. Mum used Sean’s infatuation to her advantage so he’d give her money.
She never really gave him hope that they could be a couple, and she only did it when things were really dire for us.
Still, she used him. Imogen had always used her beauty to get what she wanted.
Her motives were rarely noble. And now I was using Lorcan, and I had been since the moment I’d met him in Sodom. Using men seemed to be a Killeen trait.
I had agreed to live in his apartment. Was I doing this to get what I wanted?
I wanted to stay in New York. I wanted to find Imogen’s attackers.
I needed Lorcan’s help for that. I wouldn’t go to the police again.
I didn’t want to betray Lorcan again. Even if he’d kept Imogen’s appearance from me, he made sure she was protected and taken care of.
He didn’t have to do it. He didn’t know her and probably didn’t like her.
He’d done it for me. I rubbed my face. After our night in Dublin, I had been angry and sad that he’d left without a word.
That showed me that things between Lorcan and me were far from over.
I put my head down on Imogen’s hospital bed, trying to shut off my thoughts.
I must have fallen asleep soon after.
“Mrs. Devaney?”
I groaned, disoriented.
“Mrs. Devaney?”
I jerked my head up, startled by the use of the name. In Dublin I’d introduced myself as Killeen, but now back in New York, I was Lorcan’s wife again.
Corbin stood in the doorway. “It’s seven. I’m supposed to take you home now.”
Home. Lorcan’s apartment. I slanted a look at my sister, who lay as motionless as she had when I arrived. Maybe I was hoping for a miracle. That she’d wake if she heard and felt a familiar person. Who knew if she would be happy to see me if she woke ?
I squeezed her hand then got up and followed Corbin out.
He’d grabbed my small suitcase. I felt strangely nervous when we arrived on Lorcan’s street.
With a quick thanks I got out of the car and took my suitcase.
Corbin waited until I reached the front door, which opened, revealing Lorcan.
He gave a nod at Corbin then took the suitcase from me and together we ascended the staircase.
We didn’t talk, which only increased my nerves.
Everything was still exactly as I remembered it. The potted plant that I’d bought was still alive, perching on the windowsill of the living room, which surprised me. I would have thought it’d be all dried out by now. Lorcan must have watered it.
Lorcan followed my gaze and smiled wryly. “Did you think I’d forget to water it?”
“I don’t know what to think,” I said softly.
Lorcan motioned toward the kitchen and a takeout box. “I’m sure you’re hungry. I got us something to eat.”
I nodded.
“This is from a new pub around the corner. It’s not very good. Nothing is compared to your cooking.”
I gave him a small smile. Things between us felt strange, as if we both weren’t sure what we were at.
Lorcan opened the takeout box and filled two bowls with stew before we settled at the table across from each other and dug in.
I occasionally glanced at him. An apology sat on the tip of my tongue but I couldn’t get it out.
He leaned back when he was finished eating, looking manly and bear-like. “Any updates on Finn and your mother?”
I put my spoon down and leaned back. “Mum’s paying for her own ticket, as expected, but I told her we would pay for Finn.”
I snapped my lips shut, realizing I said ‘we’ again. My cheeks flamed. Was there still a we? Should there be?
Slowly, Lorcan’s mouth pulled into the shadow of a smile, almost a smirk, but a bit softer. “We?”
I fumbled with the spoon, avoiding his inquiring gaze. “It’s your money, so you , of course.”
“But you said ‘we’.”
I had, and I wasn’t sure why my mind seemed so ready to accept my bond with Lorcan again. When I was sent back to Dublin, I thought I could return to my old life and repress all memories from New York and my time with Lorcan. Obviously, that didn’t happen.
I shrugged as if it didn’t matter, but for a man like Lorcan, small slips of the tongue weren’t nothing.
In his business, he had to pay attention to every small detail to read his opponent.
And my need for him after the attack had probably been a pretty good indicator of my emotional state when it came to him too.
I suppressed a yawn, but I could barely keep my eyes open. It had been a long and emotionally draining forty-eight hours.
“Go to bed,” Lorcan ordered. I reached for my bowl. “Just get ready for bed. I’ll handle it.”
I smiled slightly. “You mean throw it in the sink for me to put in the dishwasher tomorrow morning?”
He cocked an eyebrow and motioned at his countertops. “Do you see any dirty dishes? I kept this apartment clean for a decade before you.”
“Then why didn’t you while I was here?”
He chuckled. “I guess I wanted to see your domestic side, and it was nice to be taken care of for a change.”
His words held honesty even if they were spoken with little emotion.
“You mean you liked to be serviced.”
Lorcan reacted exactly as expected. “Oh, I enjoy being serviced by you in all kinds of ways.”
The look in his eyes caused a shiver to pass over my back, but I wasn’t sure if I could, if I should allow physical closeness now. I quickly rose to my feet. “I’m getting ready for bed now.”
Lorcan didn’t say anything, but I could feel his gaze follow me all the way to the bedroom. Once settled, I realized it was our bedroom. I could have gone to the guest bedroom. Wouldn’t that have made more sense?
It didn’t matter now. Lorcan probably would have told me to move my ass to our bedroom anyway, but that I’d gone there without prompting probably gave him the same sign as my careless use of the word “we”.
I grabbed a nightgown from my suitcase and went into the bathroom.
Lorcan hadn’t thrown away my toothbrush or my makeup remover.
I felt strangely touched by this. I was definitely done for tonight.