Chapter 5
The best part about having a best friend who was more like a sister and so deeply entrenched in your life was she knew when to give you quiet and when to dig in and make you talk.
Seeing as Letty Welsh was the best friend I ever had, more like a sister, and knew me better than anyone on the planet, she’d given me quiet.
After she’d done a thorough yet silent assessment and came to the conclusion I was holding onto my sanity, she’d given me a tight hug and told me to go home, get Remy cleaned up, and she’d see me later.
And later that night during the book club meeting, she treated me no differently.
She hadn’t said a word about Rhode’s visit to Smutties. She hadn’t asked about what had transpired in her office. She’d done what she’d always done and, without words, offered me her unwavering support.
That was Letty. But like any good sister, she would only allow the quiet to stretch so long. I was sensing she’d given me fifteen hours to mull over Rhode’s visit, and my time was up. This might’ve also had to do with the small fact Rhode would be showing up at any moment with a bevy of men.
This was something she’d just finished explaining.
While Rhode and I were in the office, Davis Wright had gently—Letty’s words—told her that he and Rhode worked with a group called Takeback.
They specialized in human trafficking and assisted the feds with executing rescue operations—mostly the US Marshals—but they also worked independently with families.
Davis had explained that Rhode had asked the team to take Kiki’s case, something they all readily agreed to do.
Now they—that was Rhode, Davis, and the rest of the team—were coming to the bookstore to talk about Kiki’s disappearance.
They were coming here and not to Michael and Tally’s house because they wanted to meet someplace neutral.
I thought this was a mistake. Not the meeting with Takeback, but having it at the bookstore and not at their home.
As one could imagine, Michael was struggling and Tally was even worse.
Letty disagreed and said it was a good excuse to get them out of the house, something that was rare for either of them.
Letty finished setting out the donuts she’d picked up from the bakery and turned to face me. I heard her suck in a breath then she hit me with sisterly love.
“Before he gets here, I need to know if I hate him or if I’m giving him a chance to prove he’s a good guy.” She didn’t have to say she was talking about Rhode. “I’m not asking for a full rundown right now, but I need to know if he was an asshole to you and what his intentions are.”
“I’ve never seen someone in so much pain,” I whispered.
“What?” Letty returned just as softly.
“Pain, Lets. He told me to be grateful I’d never know how badly it hurt to miss your boy coming into this world.
Hearing his cry as he draws his first lungful of oxygen.
I’ll never forget those words for as long as I live.
He missed that, and it killed to see him in so much pain.
He also told me he was a man of his word, and he was going to be in Remington’s life. ”
I’d tossed and turned all night thinking over what Rhode said.
I wanted my son to have his father in his life.
I’d always hoped we’d find him. But now that day was here, and I was scared shitless.
I’d had Remy all to myself for four and a half years.
I hadn’t had to share my time with my son unless I wanted to.
Now Rhode could demand time. He could take Remy…
“Oh, God,” I breathed.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know where he lives. What if he tries to take Remy? What if he lives—”
“Stop. First, no one is taking Remy from you. No one. Not ever. Secondly, one step at a time. Plenty of men say they’re gonna do right, then they bail.
Hello Jessica? She was with Douche Nozzle for six years.
He acted so excited when Jessy got pregnant, swore up and down they were gonna get married, then he took off when Jeremy was three months old.
Poof. Gone. Vanished. No one saw that coming.
You don’t know this guy. He might not even stick around. ”
Letty was wrong. Rhode was not Douche Nozzle. Not even close. The two men were very different, and I didn’t need to know Rhode to know that. One night, six hours, five years ago. Ten minutes, one conversation, yesterday, and I knew with certainty Rhode would not walk away from Remington.
I didn’t voice this because it would make me sound a little nutso.
There was no way to know, yet I still did.
I heard it in the ferocity of his tone, the way he froze when he saw Remy, the way he looked at his son, and that was before I confirmed what Rhode had known with a look.
No man looks at a child and instantly connects unless that man wants to be in his kid’s life.
Like Rhode. One look, and he knew. And he felt the pain of missing out on his child’s life so acutely it filled the office.
His pain had coated my skin and slithered down my throat.
The front door opened. I turned and watched Rhode prowl in. His gaze scanned the store, and if I needed further proof that Rhode was not the type of man who would leave his child, looking for Remy sealed it.
“Holy shit, he’s hot,” Letty whispered, then leaned close and continued to speak softly but did it in a rush since Rhode was prowling our way. “If he turns out to be a good guy and he sticks around, I’m still calling him Dulles.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Um, yeah, I am. Rhode’s a cool enough name, but I’m callin’ him Dulles.”
Rhode’s eyes came to mine, and before I could stop myself, I was transported to the past.
Speechless.
Breath stolen.
Butterflies swarming.
Only this time, I wasn’t sitting in a bar, single and alone, staring at the sexiest man I’d ever seen and shamelessly fantasizing about using him for a night of fun.
I was now a single mother with responsibilities.
I didn’t fantasize about anything anymore.
Well, that was a stretch. I did fantasize about a nameless stranger and all of the incredible things we’d done together in his hotel room.
But that was only when I was in bed late at night and Remy was asleep in his room.
I never acted out those fantasies—I’d lived them.
So they weren’t really fantasies as much as they were memories.
Really, really great memories.
I watched Rhode walk straight to me, and I couldn’t stop thinking he had a great walk—the same as he had five years ago. Confident. Controlled. Dark and delicious. There was no doubt the man had swagger.
Unfortunately, I was still speechless when he stopped in front of me.
“I’ll let you two talk.” Letty flashed Rhode a sassy smile and she walked away.
She was a good friend and part of that was doing her duty to remind me of the possibility Rhode could split. But Letty was like me—a romantic through and through and wanted Rhode to be the hero in my story.
And, yes, all of that was conveyed in one sassy smile and declaration she was keeping the nickname we’d given him.
“Is Remy here?”
Reality sliced through me.
“No. He’s in school. Well, preschool until noon.”
Rhode nodded, his face perfectly blank when he asked, “When this is done, if you’re not busy before you pick him up, I’d like to talk to you.”
And so it begins.
I swallowed the lump that had wedged in my throat and nodded.
“Sure. There’s a bakery two doors down. We can go there or if you’d prefer privacy, I live around the corner. We could go there.”
“I’d prefer privacy.”
Shit. Okay. I could do this—sit and have a conversation with the father of my child four years and a handful of months later than the conversation should’ve actually happened. The hard part was over, right? He knew Remington existed. All that was left was to hammer out the details.
Details that would mean Rhode spending time with Remy. Then a sick, nasty, vomit-inducing thought invaded my mind. One whose answer would crush me into dust even though it shouldn’t.
“Are you…um…married?” I stuttered.
The absurdity of the situation was not lost on me. I had no claim to Rhode so his answer shouldn’t be life-altering, yet it was. Then there was the small, teeny-tiny matter that I actually had to ask.
Never once had I imagined myself a slut for having a one-night stand.
Not even after I got pregnant. Not even when Letty was with me when I had Remy.
Not until I had to ask if my son’s father was married because I didn’t know.
Not until I was faced with a visitation schedule and I didn’t know where he lived. I didn’t even know his phone number.
“No.”
Weirdly, he didn’t ask if I was.
“A girlfriend?” I pushed.
“No.”
Again he didn’t ask if I had someone special in my life.
If the relief of his answers hadn’t been thumping through my body I would’ve thought more about how strange it was he hadn’t inquired about my relationship status.
But I was too busy figuring out why I was so pleased to find out he didn’t have a wife.
I could’ve told myself it was because I was worried about Remy having a stepmother but that would’ve been a lie.
My reaction was purely selfish. Seeing Rhode with another woman would’ve killed.
“Brooklyn?”
Gah! Hearing him say my name did crazy things to my insides.
“Yeah?”
“We’re gonna work everything out.”
I wanted to believe him. I really did. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. There was too much at stake. I wasn’t the same fun, free-spirited woman I was when I met Rhode. I no longer lived in my head, in my books, in made-up stories. I had Remington and his happiness was more important than anything else.
“Okay,” I agreed.
“I know you don’t believe me. But you will.”
With that, he turned and walked away.