Chapter 15
I was consumed by all things Rhode. The way his fingertips dented the back of my neck, his forehead pressed against mine, his body shaking with hilarity, his breath coming out in fast puffs fanning over my chest.
Memories came rushing back. The last time I’d felt Rhode surround me he’d been moving inside of me.
He’d held the back of my neck, his forehead had rested on mine, I’d felt his breath on my bare breasts, and his big body shaking above mine.
Not from laughter, from exertion, fighting his nature and attempting to be gentle.
All it had taken was wrapping my legs around his hips, silently begging for more, for him to give in and lose control.
I wasn’t sure which I liked better, the rough or the gentle. I was glad with Rhode, I didn’t have to choose.
“You have a great laugh,” I told him.
He had one back in the day, too. We hadn’t done a lot of laughing while we were curled together in his hotel bed, we’d used our time together wisely.
But the between times when we were talking he’d laughed.
He’d also made me laugh. And thinking on it, everything about that night was natural.
At no time did it feel like we were two strangers who didn’t know each other’s names.
In fact, it felt warm and familiar yet new and exciting.
That was the reason I’d hightailed my ass out of his life.
He had heartbreak written all over him. I knew I was in too deep.
I was conjuring up dreams of forever and he was…
not. I was nothing more than a one-night stand.
A woman he’d met in a bar and taken back to his room.
But weirdly at no time had he made me feel like I was mindless, faceless sex.
That was just me, projecting my insecurities.
“If memory serves, you do, too.” Then he dropped his voice to a near whisper. “Though when you did it I had you in my arms naked with your tits pressed against my ribs and your hands on me. So I’d say your laugh’s far better than mine.”
I felt those words in secret places and my nipples hardened.
“Looking forward to hearing you laugh again, Sugar.”
At that moment I was fully prepared to strip naked, hop into bed, and find a Jim Carrey comedy.
Before I could tell Rhode this a loud clatter came from the kitchen highlighting we weren’t alone.
Damn.
“I better check—”
“I’ll do it. You finish your dinner.”
With a squeeze Rhode let me go, but before he stood his head dropped to the side and he brushed his lips over the corner of my mouth, bringing on a fresh wave of memories both old and new.
Our kiss in the bathroom had been a tease, a quick taste, a slow glide of his tongue that left me hungry for more.
Just now the whisper-soft lip touch was a reminder of how gentle he could be.
I watched Rhode walk into the kitchen with my heart pounding in my chest and I knew despite what I’d said to him about us getting romantically involved not being a good idea that I wasn’t going to fight it.
I’d made that mistake once. I was scared and I let my fear get the best of me.
This time, I was holding on no matter what.
This time, I was going to be honest and trust Rhode to see us through. All three of us.
My phone rang in the other room. I had a strict no phone at the table rule—that decree was obviously for my benefit seeing as Remy didn’t have a phone.
Table time was special, Remy and me with no interruptions.
It was the one part of our day when I had my son’s full attention with no distractions—no toys, TV, games—and he deserved my full attention right back.
Just he and I and conversation. Sometimes Letty was a part of that if she came over for dinner.
Sometimes if Remy and I were at the Welshes I shared my special time with them.
Wherever we sat down to eat there was never a phone at the table.
“Mommy!” Remy shouted. “It’s Gram. Can I answer?”
Shit.
I didn’t want to talk to Tally. Which was crazy because I always loved talking to her. But I had a secret and I sucked at lying. She’d suss it out in two-point-five seconds. But if I didn’t answer she’d know something was amiss because I’d never declined a call from her.
Shit.
“Hi, Gram,” Remy greeted.
Welp, too late.
Damn.
“Guess what?” Remy asked but didn’t give Tally time to respond before he rushed out.
“A pipe broke. There was water everywhere. It was even in the living room. But I fixed it.” There was a brief pause then Remy started again.
“Rhode showed me how. We went to the store and Rhode showed me what to get…hey, what was it?”
“Three-eighths inch stainless steel supply line,” Rhode answered.
“Did you hear that, Gram? Three-eighths inch stainless steel supply line. I got to put it in and everything. Now the sink works. Me and Rhode are cleaning up the kitchen so we can go play football. Rhode said he’s gonna teach me how to play.
” There was a beat of silence then, “I don’t know, let me ask. Do you know how to play football?”
“Yep. Started playing flag football when I was your age. Played all the way through high school.”
“Yeah, Rhode can play. He’s gonna teach me. I wanna be the quarterback so Rhode said I need to learn how to throw the ball.”
Much like me, Remy loved Tally. He was four and easily excitable but I’d never heard that kind of exuberance coming from my son. Not even when he went fishing with Michael. Not even when last Christmas Letty bought him a new handheld videogame I wasn’t happy about but Remy had loved it.
Never.
I let the knowledge that my son was happy wrap around me and vowed not to screw this up for us.
I wanted my son to be this excited all the time.
Rhode deserved these moments with Remy after everything he missed.
And for once in my life, I was going to admit I deserved something good, too.
I wanted Rhode in my life and if I hadn’t gotten pregnant with Remy I’d still want Rhode in my life.
I heard little-boy feet running out of the kitchen then Remy stopped by the table and held my phone out.
“Here. Gram wants to talk to you.”
“Thanks, bud.” I took the phone and before I had it to my ear Remy was out of the room.
Shit.
“Hey, Tally. Everything okay?”
“I don’t know, sweet girl. You tell me.”
Tally was using her mom voice. This was good.
She was going to scold me for not talking to her about Rhode and I wouldn’t have to worry about not telling her that Kiki was alive and well but acting like a monumental selfish bitch.
Obviously, I’d never call Kiki selfish or a bitch to Tally or Michael.
And while I’d agree with Letty right now—she called her sister that—I would never utter the words out loud to any of the Welshes.
Though I allowed myself to think it after what Kiki had put everyone through.
“Everything’s great.”
“Why don’t I believe that?”
Because I’m lying to you and I know where your daughter is.
Guilt struck full force. To dislodge the uncomfortable feeling I told her the truth as far as what I could disclose.
“You should believe that because everything is great. Well, the pipe under the bathroom sink wasn’t great and I looked like a total fool for not knowing I could turn off the water before my hallway flooded.
But I got it all cleaned up and Remy was excited to go with Rhode to the store and help fix the broken pipe. So it ended well.”
I took a breath, but before I could tell Tally about dinner she launched in.
“I’ve given you time and I know you’ve given me space because of what’s going on with Kiki.”
God, I was such a freaking cow. A horrible, mean, cow.
I wanted to tell her so badly that Kiki was safe.
Ease her pain and her worry. I wanted to confess so badly I was seriously contemplating breaking my promise.
The only thing that stopped me was Desi.
But as soon as the guys got to her I was spilling the beans.
I had to. And hearing Tally’s sweet concern about how I was doing made it worse. So much worse.
“Tally—”
“Listen to me for a second. I love you, Brooklyn. I’ve loved you since the day you were born.
I promised your momma I’d always look out for you.
I’m sorry I haven’t been doing such a good job lately.
Remington’s father showing up is a big deal.
Letty says she likes him. Remy sounds excited and happy. But I’d like to meet him.”
Tally was killing me. Killing. Me.
“You’ve met him, Tally. And just to say, you’ve always taken care of me. And I’m grateful for all that you and Michael gave me after Mom and Dad died. But I’m also grateful for what you gave me when they were still alive.”
All the mean, nasty shit Kiki had spewed filled my heart.
After my parents died I was devastated. I could barely function.
One minute I had a great family, the next they were gone.
I didn’t know what would have been worse—watching them slowly waste away from sickness or the way they went.
Head-on collision, both of them gone in a flash.
Neither of them had made it to the hospital.
“And that right there tells me something’s wrong, Brooklyn.”
There was a reason Letty was so observant and in tune with those around her. My best friend had learned from her mother. Both Welsh women were thoughtful. And they both had a keen bullshit radar with the people they loved.
What was interesting was how Kiki had slipped past their notice. That was probably my fault, too. If Tally and Letty hadn’t been so focused on helping me pick up the pieces of my shattered life, Kiki wouldn’t have been jealous in the first place.
“I swear nothing’s wrong.”
Lies. There was so much wrong.
Remy came bouncing back into the dining room vibrating with excitement. “All done!” he shouted and ran past me.