Chapter 12 #2
It had been a new and unsettling experience to have so much money to spend.
She couldn’t wait to use the hard-milled soap, bath oil, powder, and perfume she had bought, all of which had the same heady fragrance, yellow jasmine.
She liked it much better than lavender, which only brought her sad reminders of Camille.
“What’s this?” Ertha asked, eyeing the beribboned package Susanna held in her hands. “Another gift?”
“Yes, from Matthew Grymes. A porcelain music box.”
“My goodness, child, you’re surely collecting a host of lovely things from your admirers, but I think Mr. Spencer has them beat with that fine racehorse he gave you and that beautiful emerald necklace. You must be considering him seriously to accept such expensive things from him.”
Susanna jumped as Adam fairly slammed her packages down on the hall table behind her.
“Forgive me,” he said tersely, his eyes a dark, turbulent hue as he leveled his gaze upon her. “They slipped.”
“Th-that’s all right,” she said, throwing a nervous smile at Ertha, who was regarding them curiously.
“Could we step into the library, Miss Cary? There is some business I’ve been meaning to discuss with you, and now that Mr. and Miss Grymes have left, I think it’s a good time—”
“Can’t it wait until later, Mr. Thornton?” she interrupted, surmising exactly what he wanted to talk about and hoping to avoid for as long as possible what she imagined would be a disagreeable discussion. “Perhaps until morning? It’s been such a long day.”
“No.”
She swallowed hard, knowing from his curt answer that she had lost this battle. Not wanting to make any more of a scene in front of Ertha, she acquiesced. “Very well, Mr. Thornton. If your business is that urgent.”
“I assure you, it is.”
“If you’d like, Miss Camille, I could take your things upstairs for you,” the housekeeper offered, appearing more confused.
“Thank you, Ertha. There are some toiletries in that small package” —hopefully not shattered, she thought with vexation, glancing at Adam— “several pairs of dress gloves in the other one and a new hat in the large box. Could you see that everything is put away?”
“Of course.”
Susanna handed the housekeeper the gift from Matthew, then she followed Adam into the library.
“Sit down,” he ordered, closing the door firmly.
She obliged him, feeling nervous yet angry that he would treat her like a disobedient child.
He walked to a window and stared outside for a long moment, as if not readily trusting himself to speak, then he turned and met her eyes.
She had never seen him look more deadly serious, or more devastatingly handsome.
“I will not tolerate any more of this charade, Camille. I’ve kept silent and played along for two weeks now, but that’s it. On Wednesday, I plan to announce our betrothal at the Tates’.”
Susanna gaped at him, a strange, trapped feeling rising inside her chest. She had expected him to be upset, to perhaps express some reservations about continuing as they had been, but not this!
He looked so resolute, his very stance screaming to her that he had firmly made up his mind, that she didn’t know what she could possibly say to persuade him to wait just a little while longer.
“Adam, if it was Matthew’s gift—” she began lamely.
“A trinket, Camille! I don’t care about that damn music box or the bumpkin who gave it to you.
It’s the racehorse and jeweled necklace that you’ve so naively accepted which concern me.
Don’t you realize the false impression you’re giving that bast—” He fell abruptly silent, as if catching himself, then sighed heavily.
“Our deception isn’t a game anymore, my love.
You may have derived some innocent pleasure from it and found it romantic and perhaps even exciting, but these few weeks have been nothing but torture for me. ”
Her heart pounding, Susanna watched as he sat down almost wearily on the arm of a stuffed chair.
She sensed truth behind his words, and felt fresh guilt for the devious chase on which she was leading him.
But she wouldn’t be doing so if he hadn’t overstepped the bounds of propriety with her in the first place!
It was his own fault that he would soon find himself so rudely disappointed.
“Adam,” she tried again, desperately trying to think of some way to mollify him. “I never expected that I’d be receiving presents from those gentlemen, and I never intended to keep any of them. They don’t mean anything to me.”
“Then you can return them on Wednesday.”
When he paused, studying her face, Susanna feared he might detect her lie. She almost sighed in relief when he continued with quiet vehemence.
“Your secret glances and furtive smiles, however beautiful, are not enough for me, Camille. Our rare, stolen moments of conversation will no longer suffice. I want to court you in public where everyone can see us; to talk to you openly; to hold your hand, embrace you, and kiss you as I’ve been tempted to do countless times.
I want everyone,” he emphasized, his voice growing harsh, “especially those who’ve held any hope of having you for themselves, to know that you belong to me. ”
Susanna inhaled in surprise as Adam came to her, pulling her up almost roughly to stand in front of him.
“Tell me that you want this, Camille,” he demanded softly. “Please. Tell me.”
Panicking, Susanna could think of nothing to sway him.