Chapter 9 #2
But I want him no matter how much I tell myself I don’t. Less than three days ago, I would’ve rather cut my own hand off than accept his help, yet here I am, walking side by side with him into the lion’s den.
He speaks to the ma?tre d in low tones and leads me into the side hall toward the restrooms instead of the dining hall.
“Take as long as you need to freshen up. I’ll wait for you here, and we’ll go in together,” he says.
“Thank you, Mr. Diamond,” I say.
“Of course, Ms. Tripp,” he responds.
With a gentle push on the small of my back, he sends me toward the ladies’ room.
I use the toilet and wash my hands before inspecting my reflection. The bags under my eyes from broken, nightmare-filled sleep and my ghastly complexion won’t improve without rest and relaxation, but that’s a luxury I can’t afford, so I plop my purse on the counter and unfasten the closure.
If Brennan had let me bring in my tote, I could wash my face and start my makeup over, but I make do with the small emergency kit in my purse. I adjust my suit, spritz a bit of body spray and walk through the mist, pack up my purse, and exit the washroom.
No hulking man waits in the hall, so I stand against the wall opposite the restrooms and pull out my phone.
“Audrey Tripp. You actually came.”
Terror collapses my lungs and squeezes my heart as the voice from my nightmares fills my ears. I tear my eyes away from my screen and swallow bile as my ex-stepfather invades my space.
“You really are just Edgar’s glorified whore, aren’t you? What perks does a personal secretary offer to potential clients?”
He’s too close. I can’t breathe. His cologne clogs my sinuses, and his red tie fills my vision.
My mind blanks. Everything I’ve learned in self-defense class flees as I mentally check out. I stand like a wooden doll as the monster who stole my happiness and crushed my soul skims a fingertip down my face.
“I want what you denied me thirteen years ago, you little tease. Give me the full package tonight and you’ll never have to worry about your mom again.”
Abject horror rips through me. My mind screams for me to fight. To punch, knee, or kick him. To run. To flee straight to my mom and never leave her side again.
My body refuses to move beyond the slightest shift of my gaze.
Brennan looks up from fixing his cuff as he exits the men’s room.
My soul stretches out to him. I beg, scream, and crumble without twitching a single muscle.
Brennan’s bright blue eyes darken with violent fury. On silent feet, he stalks forward, grabs his father’s wrist, wrenches it behind his back, manhandles him to the side, and slams him face first into the wall.
Blood splatters onto the intricate pattern of the wallpaper. The crunching sound of his nose breaking shatters the ice holding me in place. I mindlessly lunge for the bathroom to vomit but hit the entranceway with my shoulder and bounce to the other side.
Strong arms catch me before I concuss myself on the solid wall.
“You’re okay, love. I’ve got you,” Brennan murmurs in my ear.
A shaking begins deep in my chest. I push it—and him—away and stagger to my feet.
Donald chuckles and spits a bloody wad onto the ornate carpet at Brennan’s feet.
“You always were an ungrateful little shit. You’re going to regret this, son,” he says.
Brennan pulls his phone out of his pocket. I grab his wrist.
“What are you doing?” I cringe at the accusation in my voice.
“Calling the police.”
“No. You can’t. Don’t,” I demand.
Donald laughs despite the gore running down his face. He pushes off the wall and swaggers toward us as though he owns the city.
In a way, he does. By announcing his campaign to run for governor, he’s increased his authority further than his power as the mayor of New York City could’ve ever gotten him.
My mom can’t stay in the state anymore. I have to move her again.
Sorrow arrows through me. Even though I lost her love and affection many, many years ago, the thought of my only family being so far away hurts my heart.
“I always knew you were the smart one, Audrey. Be my good, obedient little girl and come with me. If you can convince my son to sign the same agreement Edgar—”
Brennan steps in front of me, shielding me with his bulk.
“I’m not your son; you’re not my father, I’ll never associate with scum like you, and neither will Audrey.” He reaches behind his back and engulfs my fist in his much larger one. “You’ll never touch her again,” he vows.
With a menacing step forward, he tugs me after him and invades his father’s space.
“If you so much as glance at what’s mine again, I won’t be as civil as I was today,” Brennan says with a disgusted glance at the bloody wall.
By the time my brain processes his words, he’s already tucked me against his side and ushered me halfway down the hall.
My legs wobble and weaken with each step, but they carry me all the way to the car.
The moment Brennan shuts his door, my thoughts clear and fresh panic claws at my chest, but before I can grab my door handle, he peels away from the hotel and swings onto the road.
“I have to go back,” I demand.
“No.”
“Brennan, I have to go back!”
My shout rings in my ears. He weaves through the traffic as though I didn’t speak at all.
I wrap both hands around his upper arm and shake him with all my might.
“Turn around. Take me back right now.”
He ignores my abuse and continues driving. I squeeze his arm.
“Brennan, please!”
He slams on the brakes and jerks the wheel so hard I hit my head on his shoulder. I gasp as he spears thick fingers into my hair and cups my face with his hand.
Despite the fury in his eyes, he controls his grip. It doesn’t hurt.
I feel alive. His warmth seeps into me and thaws the frozen tundra in my soul.
“You don’t beg for him, baby doll. He’s not worth it. Anyone or anything else and I’ll listen, but not for him. Understand?”
I sink my nails into his nape and shake my head as much as his hands allow.
“It’s not for him. He threatened my mother. I can’t—”
His low curse arrows straight to my belly. I stiffen even as he melts my bones with a sudden, desperate kiss. As much as I yearn to explore the heat building within me, I bite his tongue and jerk my face away.
For several tense moments, neither of us moves. His ragged breaths wash over my cheek and ear. He drops his forehead to my temple and kneads my scalp with his fingers.
I bite back a groan as sensual delight infects my nerve endings. Little bursts of pleasure travel from my head to my toes.
“I’m sorry, Audrey. I didn’t realize… whatever you need, I’m here now. I’ll protect you and your mom.”
Deep-rooted pain snaps my heart in two and pours acid through my veins.
“I can’t trust you! You left me. I needed you, but you weren’t there.”
“You’re right. I failed. I wasn’t there. I can never make up for it, but I also can’t walk away again. I need you, Audrey.”
“Go to hell!”
He closes his eyes, takes a deep, measured breath, and turns back to the steering wheel with carefully controlled movements.
I miss his touch.
I hate him.
I need him.
I cross my arms over my chest, clench my teeth together, and turn to the window.
He pulls away from the curb and drives back to the office in silence.
My entire body feels like jelly, but I exit the vehicle and stomp to the elevator. He joins me with my bags over his shoulder and crowds me into the back corner. I glimpse my reflection in the shiny metal doors. A ghost has darker pigmentation than I do.
Brennan selects the floor above the lobby and leads me to a smaller meeting room for our first post-lunch gathering. My sluggish mind recalls how full every afternoon docket is for the next two weeks.
I reach for my bags, but Mr. Diamond pushes them behind his hip, guides me into a chair by my shoulders, and places my tote and briefcase at the far end of the table. When he exits into the hallway, I stare at my bags but can’t muster the energy to retrieve them.
Time scratches and warbles like an old record player. Mr. Diamond returns with a lunch tray from the cafeteria. He sets the pile of food in front of me and juggles three drink bottles—water, orange, and apple juice—onto the table.
I blink.
“Eat before the meeting.”
His gruff voice still rumbles through me as he disappears into the hall.
The rawness in my soul infects my throat. I turn my attention to my plate and push the urge to sob down with food.
A young woman skips through the door, shuts it behind herself, and settles in the chair beside me.
“Hi! My name is Brittany, and I’ll be your private tutor for the next two months.”
I take a sip of apple juice and clear my throat before I respond.
“Private tutor? For what? How old are you, Brittany?”
“I just turned nineteen, and we’re studying for your GED. Don’t worry, I just graduated high school, so everything is still fresh in my mind, and Mr. Diamond hired me through a legit app, which is perfect timing because I do not want to go back to working retail until my internship ends.”
“Where are you interning?”
When she names Brennan’s largest company, compassion floods my heart.
The blood drains from my face as I realize I won’t be able to lie to myself for much longer.
Brennan Diamond is slowly chipping away at my defenses. Soon he’ll reclaim all the parts of me I’ve locked away over the years.
He’s not the monster I’ve built up in my nightmares.
There’s still too much unspoken grief and pain between us, but I can’t deny the truth for much longer.
I want Brennan Diamond in my life.
I want to crawl into his lap, share my burdens with him, and taste the hot, all-consuming passion in his kisses.
I want to entrust everything to him even though I know he’ll turn his back on me again the moment he learns the truth.
It’s going to hurt like hell, and I probably won’t survive, but I want my ex-stepbrother as my friend, lover, and confidante.
I’m doomed. So fucking doomed.