Chapter 12
Chapter
Twelve
Sage
My face heats with shame. My skin goes sticky and warm as the indignity of what I've done sinks over me. It spirals deep down into my core just as my heart rate picks up and my breathing shallows.
Alexei Rushkoff's spit is still on my neck.
Still on my breasts.
He just had his fingers inside me.
I gag and wipe his spit off with my sleeve. I want to cry. Scream. Run away. Hurt someone.
I stand up on shaky legs, making sure my skirt is back down to cover my thighs. It can't cover up how much I hate myself for what just happened. Or how much I hate myself in general.
I look around the room, once again leaving as it ruins me. I stumble out, closing the door gently behind me and leaning up against it for support.
It's better out here. My heart slows down and a gentle breeze makes me feel a little less gross and sticky. From where I stand here I can hear the familiar laughter of Anton, Freddie and Isla. Reminding me of where I am and what I am amongst.
It's like the chatter of old friends. Is that exactly what we all were? Friends? Something unfamiliar to me but that was always there. Ripped away from us cruelly as so much else has been.
I hear the deep baritone of Alexei's voice as he rejoins them.
He just humiliated me and used me… called me pathetic after I melted all over him. Which was pathetic. Oh God. This is so fucking embarrassing. I'm supposed to hate him and kill him, and I crumbled in his palm like a fool.
A burst of Alexei's laughter reaches me and something else replaces my shame.
My body goes hot again but this time pure rage takes over. Now I want to kill him again. Right here, right now. I suddenly can't stand the idea of him getting to smile after everything he's taken from me.
I growl and charge after him. Stomping through the maze of rooms until I get to the stairs and see him. He's only just returned himself but the others are all waiting at the bottom.
The laughter stops when they see me, and they look up expectantly. Worried looks follow close behind, meaning I must look particularly menacing right now. Alexei pauses too, turning over his shoulder to look at me as well. But what he sees doesn't make him cringe. Instead, he smirks.
"Motherfucker!"
I launch over the bannister and throw my whole weight at him.
"Fuck!" he croaks, as I manage to knock us both down, sending us tumbling down the small remainder of stairs.
The element of surprise wins it for me, and I am the first to recover.
I hold him down and straddle him at the waist, wrapping my hands around his neck and shaking back and forth.
Doing my best to cut off his airway at the same time that I try and smash his thick, dumb head against the wooden floor.
He stops me quickly, grabbing my hands and holding them just above the threshold of where I can do any damage.
"I'm going to fucking kill you!" I scream.
"That's the idea of a death promise, princess," Alexei says, croaking out the words as I push harder to cut him off.
"Sage! What the hell, stop!" Anton's voice commands me, but the sound feels like it comes from outside a bubble. Somewhere out of focus and far away.
Alexei uses the advantage of Anton's distraction and flips me off him. He comes back for me strong, like it's his turn to get on top to put his hands around my neck. But it's not, and a sloppy kick from me stops him from mimicking my plan.
I start to crawl away on my hands and knees.
"We should do something," Isla says.
"Like what?" Freddie replies. "Not meant to interfere."
Alexei grabs my ankle and drags me back towards him. I shriek at the same time that my arms lash out to try to strike him.
"Well they're not meant to be fighting this now anyway, so they're the ones that have broken the rules," Anton says with a menacing growl just before I feel myself get yanked up by the elbow, into Anton's grip and out of Alexei's.
I hang there for a while until I can get my feet underneath me. Alexei rises slowly, but watches me with hatred so visceral that I can taste it. Just as he tastes it when he aggressively thumbs a drop of blood from his lip, looking at it before he sucks it from his digit.
My uncle loosens his hold on my elbow.
"That's enough," he commands, mostly to me, but I know he means to address Alexei too. He sets his eyes on our rival leader. "We said none of this. Not until we'd finished with Chet."
Alexei's jaw tightens, and he turns his stare on Anton. "She started it," he says, with an air of menace and aggression.
Isla steps in front of him. "You didn't have to finish it," she says, putting on an awkward smile as she tries to diffuse the tension that still hangs in the air. "We still have Chet to discuss."
Nobody makes a move to follow her lead. Anton watches Alexei with distrust while Alexei is still glaring at me.
But if he wants to fight, I'm happy to.
Anton sighs then, gripping my arm again and looking down on me like he can read my mind.
"Perhaps we should pick this up later," Anton suggests.
Isla looks disappointed but doesn't say anything to the contrary. It seems as if she's waiting for Alexei to respond, but he's still so focused on watching me like I'm a red flag and he's a bull that he doesn't even see her.
She elbows him in the rib.
"Right," Alexei says, returning his attention to Anton. "We haven't resolved our discussion."
Anton shares a look with Freddie.
"All we need to do right now is share resources," Freddie says, stepping up to help calm down the room. "Look for information on Chet until we can figure out how to get close enough to him to kill him."
Isla nods lightly at Alexei, so that seems it will be acceptable for now.
"Is that a deal?" Alexei asks.
Anton nods unsurely. But I know it's pointless. Defending ourselves will be enough for now but without a solid, concrete plan, we will never outsmart Chet. Many people have wanted Chet dead over the years, and there's a reason he always manages to escape and come back stronger.
I'm sick of being haunted. By Chet and by what I did to him.
"It's a deal," Anton says. "Resources now. And when we have enough, we will kill Chet. Together. And then," he stops to give me a worried look, "then you can finish this. But not a second sooner."
Alexei looks like he very much wants to punch my uncle and then potentially kill him as well. But one look down to Isla's desperate face has his jaw grinding and him pushing down his natural instinct.
"We're clear," Alexei says. "But if she touches me. I will fight back."
Anton gives Alexei a terse nod before turning annoyed and desperate eyes on me. He can look all he wants. I'm not going to apologize. But it's clear I can't be attacking Alexei in broad daylight anymore.
"Come on Sage, lets go," Anton says, and I realize in the time I've been death glaring Alexei they've all made a move to the door. I shake myself off and follow.
We will go after Chet. Sure. But I'll get Alexei, too. Truce or not.