Chapter 39 #2
The secrets I've kept have weighed heavy on my heart, but they've had their purpose.
Anton might not realize it, but confessing to Dad will do nothing to convince him to keep the Rushkoffs around.
Nor would it likely do anything to alleviate the tension.
I know he will find out eventually, but I am in no rush to bring that day forward any sooner.
The fact that Chet loved my mother… I don't know whether I am pained or repulsed. How could he love her and hurt her daughter? Was all that really enough to warrant strips of skin being seared from my back? Was it all so potent that he couldn't simply move on and forgive her?
It's a question I may understand too well. Could I ever forgive Alexei? Could Dad ever forgive me? What would be worse in his eyes? The deceit and murder? Or whatever exists between Alexei and I?
Even I cannot be sure if that is love or hate anymore. Whatever it is, it's fleeting. If the past has taught us anything, it's that Rushkoffs and DeMarcos cannot exist together. We'd had it right separating ourselves on either side of the city and never crossing paths.
I finally push open the door to my bedroom and run my fingers over the hem of my dress, about to take it off and shower when I see someone sitting on my bed.
"In trouble, princess?" Alexei asks.
I jump, letting go of my dress to fall naturally back down to my knees.
Alexei sits on my bed with his knees spread wide, like he owns the space.
Or is claiming it. His black shirt hangs slightly open at the front, just enough to see his fully inked skin in clear view and his eyes are dark and piercing as they track me across the room.
"Almost," I reply, controlling my breaths as I pretend he has no effect on me.
I turn to the mirror and start taking my jewelry off.
Alexei cracks his knuckles, drawing my attention back to him for I know where this is going.
In weeks there hasn't been a time that he's been in my bedroom without…
Well. Needless to say my knees are shaking with anticipation from the look in his eyes.
"No luck bringing your dad around?" he asks, and I deflate at the turn of conversation. Not exactly where I expected or wanted this to go.
I place my earrings in the glass bowl and then remove my necklace the same way. "I don't need luck. We'll all work together, they won't have a choice."
His eyebrows raise in surprise. "Cocky now," he notes. He stands from the bed and stalks towards me, eyes menacing as he steps up behind me in the mirror. He's so close I can feel him lightly pressing against me and his hot breath on my neck. "Anything you wanna share?"
Spirits are heavy on his breath and for whatever reason I find the smell intoxicating, remembering how it tastes when his tongue is in my mouth. "Soon," I promise.
I turn to face him, holding his gaze as I lift the hem of my dress over my head and throw it away, standing before him in just my underwear.
His eyes run the length of my body, but he doesn't reach out to touch me, simply trapping me in his stare.
When I look at Alexei now I see the same thing I have always seen. From the moment we met, always something intense and strange. He looked at me then the same as he looks at me now.
But now I'm not so sure what to call it. In fact, I'm starting to think I've been calling it the wrong thing this whole time.
His nostrils flare as I slip away from him and head towards my bathroom. He watches me as I move inside and start the shower. When I close the door I leave it open a peek. This time when I undress, I make sure to throw my bra and my panties out to where I know he is still standing.
I slide underneath the stream and under the warmth.
My heart pounds at a hundred miles, wondering if I will remain alone in here.
My ears prick for any sound that gives away his approach.
Will he walk out of my bedroom door and away, or through this one and here with me?
I freeze when I hear the door crack open an inch.
My breath comes in harsh pants, anticipation raising goosebumps on my skin. Tattooed fingers come into view as they grip the shower curtain. I gulp as Alexei slowly pulls the curtain aside, eyes not yet dropping to my body.
It remains that way as he slowly starts to unbutton his shirt and I follow the movement, watching as tattooed fingers pull at the buttons.
"Eyes on me," Alexei says. On command, my eyes snap back up to his, watching the raw hunger in him as he slips his shirt off. I'm desperate to see his perfectly tattooed abs flexing but I don't dare deviate from his order.
Next he removes his belt, but again I don't look away, teased by the sound of metal hammering as he throws it aside. Even as he is fully naked, I still look only into his eyes as he climbs into the shower with me, making the space feel smaller and far more intimate.
For a moment, we simply stand there, not touching as the water beats against our skin. I don't know why, but with every look it's like he reaches into my chest and squeezes. Something so unique that I know I've never felt it before and yet still cannot be sure if it's pleasure or pain.
When his hands first touch my body I shut my eyes and throw my head back on a moan. He knows he doesn't need permission as he holds me up under the water and uses his hands to explore my body. They glide over my shoulders, up my ribs, and squeeze at my breasts, even cupping my cheek.
His hand runs down my thigh and pulls my leg over his hip. Not long later and his lips are at my ear.
"You wanted this," he growls. It's a reminder. And I did.
He rolls his hips and leaves me gasping as his hard cock presses against me. I want to reach out and touch it but when I do he growls. From needing to stop me from taking control or from breaking under the pressure, who knows, but his rough voice sends warmth flooding between my legs.
He grabs my hips with an iron grip, flipping me until I'm facing the wall and my hands come up instinctively to steady myself. He nudges my legs apart while one hand remains on my hip and the other glides up my back to my shoulder.
His cock presses against me and I can barely resist calling out to beg him to have me. He teasingly rolls against me before finally taking his hand and guiding his cock towards my wet, waiting pussy.
We both moan when he slides inside me.
Like sliding through butter, he just fits.
For a moment he pauses, fully seated inside me, and all that can be heard is the sounds of the water hitting the tiles and our shared breaths.
Suddenly he grips my hair and pulls my head back. I can feel him grinning against my cheek as my pussy convulses with the pain.