30. Chapter 30
thirty
L ina looked at her reflection in the fitting room mirror. Her mother, Agnes, had picked out a bright red cheongsam with gold embroidery at the seams. It wasn’t as embellished as the other selections in the store and was actually rather understated. But it still made her feel awkward to wear something so bright.
“Is there anything a bit more muted?” she asked.
“This brightens your natural complexion,” her mother said. “More suitable for you than your usual black get-up.”
“I wear black because it’s convenient and doesn’t attract too much attention,” Lina retorted.
“Well, it will tomorrow. Everyone will wear a variation of red,” Aunt Siu Lin said. “You look beautiful and elegant, Lina. It suits you and your name.”
Li meant beautiful and Na meant elegant, but she never really felt she was. Though lately, Curtis had made her feel beautiful.
Thinking about him, Lina wondered how he was doing.
“Aunt Siu Lin, can you check if the boys are doing okay?” Lina asked.
“He’s in good hands.” Siu Lin smiled. “Your uncle won’t let your dad and brother chase him away.”
“I’m not worried about that.” Lina rolled her eyes. “Papa and Daniel can lay off him, though. It’s not like I’m marrying him.”
“Why not?” Agnes asked, while she adjusted the hem of the dress. “Don’t you love him?”
Lina almost choked on her own spit. “What? We’re not…” Her knee-jerk argument died as she saw the expectant looks on her mother’s and aunt’s faces.
“I can’t think about that right now. I’m still dealing with…” Lina sighed heavily.
“With the reason you avoided us?” Her mother finished for her.
“No.” She shook her head. “I mean, yes, but no.”
There were so many emotions and things she needed to think about. Being with Curtis was something she’d just admitted to herself this morning. She couldn’t jump from that to what her parents were expecting.
“Why did you stay away, Lina?” Agnes asked gently. “We missed you so much.”
Lina looked at her mother in the mirror. “I missed you all terribly.”
“Then why didn’t you come home? We don’t understand.”
Lina saw her aunt discreetly backing out of the room, leaving her alone with her mother.
“Mama, I made a mistake not coming home.” Lina sat on the bench in the small room. “I felt so undeserving of the life I had after I lost one of my team members.”
“Honey, what happened?” Her mother sat next to her and wrapped an arm around Lina’s back.
Lina told her mother what had kept her away from home. She was glad she’d let out all the bottled guilt with Curtis earlier, or else she’d have been a blubbering idiot in the clothing store. This time, she kept the tears at bay. Perhaps talking about it really made things easier.
“Oh, Lina.” Agnes hugged her. “You have no idea how I wondered at night if you were safe.”
“I’m sorry,” Lina said.
“Honey, you were hurting. I can understand that. But you should’ve let us in.”
“I couldn’t bear the guilt.”
Her mother cupped her face and looked her straight in the eyes. “It was never your fault, Lina. But we all lose in a war, somehow. I’m sorry you had to go through that alone. I wish I had pushed harder to see you. Made you—”
“Ma, there was nothing you could do.” Lina smiled sadly. “I needed time to figure it out myself.”
Agnes sighed knowingly. “You are my stubborn child.”
She pulled Lina back into her bosom and held her. For a while, they stayed silent, absorbing what had been shared and feeling thankful for the quiet moment together.
“So, how does Curtis fit into the picture?” asked Agnes finally.
“He’s not really my boyfriend,” Lina confessed.
“What do you mean?” Agnes frowned.
“I mean, I don’t know exactly what we are. The truth is, he’s my client. I’m keeping him safe from some bad people. We’ve been in hiding in the past two weeks. And we…” Lina shrugged.
“Bonded?” Agnes suggested.
Bonded was as a better word than what Lina was thinking. “Yes. We bonded. I’ve always had a thing for him since we met. But just like me not going home, I also never thought I deserved…”
Words failed Lina again.
“Love?” her mother finished for her again.
Lina looked at her mother. “Anything that Taylor should’ve had.”
“Honey, I didn’t know Taylor, but I’m going to bet she wouldn’t have wanted you to deprive yourself of a happy life. I never want to think about this, but if you were in her shoes, would you not want Taylor to live her life to the fullest? You wouldn’t want another life wasted because of a misplaced guilt.”
“It shouldn’t have been her on the ground.”
“I wish nobody was lost, Lina. But the fact is we lose people every day. That’s why we, the living, need to respect those lives who have passed before us by living our lives in the best possible way.
“Tonight, let’s pay our respects to those souls we miss.” Agnes squeezed her daughter’s hand. “But Lina, don’t waste another minute of your precious life.”
Lina listened to her mother’s words and nodded.
“And that means stop denying what you feel for that young man out there,” Agnes advised. “I know I’ve only met him, but that man is crazy about you.”
“How could you know that?”
“Oh, no man would put up with our ridiculous questions if he didn’t have something invested.” Agnes laughed. “And bless him, he’s such a trooper. I wonder how he’s faring now with your father, brother, and uncle.”
“Oh, god. I gotta go save him.” Lina stood.
Agnes smiled and didn’t look worried at all. “I think Curtis can hold his own, honey.”
“I love this one.” Curtis looked at the deep red tangzuang with small gold details on the buttons. “What do you think?” he asked his audience.
“I like the one with the golden dragon,” Daniel said.
The dragon was coiled into a circle and smack in the middle of the jacket. Curtis thought the dragon was cool, but he preferred the simple look. And he thought Lina would like it, too.
“This one is classy,” Ed said. “This is perfect.”
“Are you getting one?” Curtis asked.
“We’ve got ours already,” Ed said. “Let’s get this one. My gift.”
“Oh no. I can’t let you do that,” Curtis said.
“I insist.” Ed then whispered, “You’ll get me into your concert next time you’re in town, yeah?”
Curtis chuckled. “Of course.”
Ed patted Curtis in the back and said to his brother, “I like this one. I think he’s good for Lina.”
“That’s for Lina to decide,” Russel wisely said. “I know my daughter. I won’t go all overbearing father on you. Do not worry.”
“But…” Daniel stood and looked menacingly at Curtis, even though he had to look up at him. “If you hurt her—”
“I know,” Curtis cut him off. “Lina will kick my ass. She’d done that already.”
“And I will help her,” Lina’s brother reiterated his point.
“Believe me. Your sister can easily kick my ass single-handedly.” Curtis grinned. “I still have the bruises to prove it.”
“I trained her,” Ed said proudly.
“She is a phenomenal fighter,” Curtis said, then asked, “Are all of you as good as she is?”
“Nah. I’m only good at fighting in video games,” Daniel said.
“In my dreams,” Russel added with a laugh. “Lina was always the champion in the family.”
“Are you a fighter, Curtis?” Ed asked.
“I’ve been training, but no, I don’t think I am at heart. I’m a lover. I’m the happiest when I’m playing music and sharing that gift with anyone who wants to hear it.”
“An artist,” Russel studied him.
“I am,” Curtis confirmed without hesitation.
“Like I said, good for Lina,” Ed said. “That girl needs lightness and beauty in her life now. She’s seen too much darkness.”
Russel nodded, but said, “It is up to Lina.”
It is up to Lina.
Curtis knew that. Right now, a lot was in Lina’s hands—his safety, his heart, his life.
That ’ s a lot to put onto one person.
He mulled about it as they waited for his new purchases to be packed nicely into a hanging bag. When they finished, he turned to see Lina finishing up with the ladies as well. She looked up and caught him staring at her and smiled. For once, her eyes were clear, with nothing veiling them. And Curtis knew what he needed to do.
“Have you been to a new year flower market, Curtis?” Ed’s wife asked, startling him out of his thoughts.
“Sorry, a flower market?” Curtis asked.
“Yes. It’s beautiful.” Sui Lin led him to the door, followed by everyone else.
He looked over his right shoulder to see where Lina was when an arm hooked around his left elbow. He looked to his side and found her smiling up at him.
“I got you,” Lina said. “Have enough of my family yet?”
Curtis smiled back. “I’m good. I just missed you.”
She didn’t say she missed him, too, but the glance she gave him was meaningful enough to Curtis.
“Did my brother behave?” she asked.
“Define behave.” He chuckled.
“He likes to think I need his protection.”
“He means well. As a brother, I know where he’s coming from,” Curtis said. “Even a badass woman can use a little back-up.”
Lina bumped his hip with hers. “Where do you keep getting these lines? I’m telling ya, if Canis Major ever broke up, fortune cookie writing could be the job for you.”
“God, no.” Curtis hoped his band would keep creating together. He couldn’t see himself doing anything but music.
They slowed down and let the others walk ahead so they could have a little privacy. They walked to a nearby pop-up flower market that was only around a couple of weeks before the Lunar New Year.
Curtis could see the explosion of colors ahead of them—oranges, pink blossoms, and orchids. Soon, they were engulfed by rows of colorful plants and flowers.
“Holy mother freaking flowers,” Curtis muttered in awe.
“Aren’t they beautiful? All these plants have significant meanings,” Lina explained as she touched a mini bamboo plant. “The lucky bamboo supposedly will bring wealth and luck.” She pointed at a plant with beautiful blossoms the size of his fist. “So will red peonies.”
“People buy these plants for the new year?” Curtis asked.
“Yes. They take these plants into their homes to bring whatever blessings they need or want,” she said.
“It’s amazing.” Curtis made a circle where he stood and absorbed the surrounding beauty. “Oh, those are gorgeous.”
He pulled Lina toward a row of medium-size trees full of small pink blossoms. With her hand in his, he walked around one tree bursting with flowers. When a breeze blew through, some petals flew like snowflakes.
“You got some on your hair.” Curtis brushed them off.
Lina laughed as she picked a petal off his sweater. “So do you.”
“Oh, look at that.” Agnes smiled at them from the other side of the tree.
“What is this tree, Agnes?” Curtis asked.
“It’s peach blossom—the love tree,” she answered.
“The what now?” Lina questioned.
“It is believed when you walk around a peach blossom tree three times, you’ll find love,” Agnes elaborated.
“If a petal falls on you, you’ll find your lifelong partner,” Sui Lin added.
“And if you walk around the tree with your lover, it will strengthen your bond,” Agnes said with a peculiar smile.
Lina stared at her mother and aunt as if she wanted them to poof into thin air. Curtis took it as the sign he needed.
“Well, the tree has spoken,” he said.
Lina turned her skeptical gaze toward him. “You can’t possibly believe all that.”
“Why not?” Curtis asked.
“They’re trees.”
He shrugged. “They might just be that—trees. They didn’t change how I feel about you. I’m still as in love with you right now as I was yesterday.”