Chapter 5 #2
Before this, I'd never once thought about marriage. I'd had many men at my feet, but never once had I considered committing to someone. Not for the short term, and certainly not for the long term.
Even if it didn't know it until this very moment, until my future stares me right in the eye and starts drifting away, I know I want to marry for love.
Not for whatever this is. Wanting things seems so fickle and selfish when there are lives on the line.
Lives that my decision will directly affect.
Wars that will start if I make the wrong one.
"If this...Victor person... knew me. He'd-" I sigh. "Ugh, he'd hate me. He'd want to call it off and start a war, and then what?"
Nicholas cracks his first genuine smile then. "He won't hate you. He's already declared his intentions. He's ready to waltz over here like a reckless moron and drop the knee for you."
"That'll change. I'm rude and arrogant and brash and condescending and difficult." I roll my arms to emphasize my point.
"Yes," Nicholas says, a slight chuckle on his lips that has me widening my eyes at him. "But you're more too."
He opens his mouth to speak again but pauses, nervous. It piques my curiosity enough that I leave the silence open, hoping he'll speak, anyway.
"You're... everything."
He won't see anything other than the slight hitch in my breath as I stare into his eyes. Eyes that glisten with sincerity. He won't see my chest cave in on itself, my blood burn, my skin tingle.
But... maybe he does. Because he smiles, eyes casting downward before meeting mine again. "Goodnight, Sage." He gives me a lingering kiss on the forehead, leaving the room and not turning back to watch me fall apart.
I worry my lip as I hesitate to knock on the door to Anton's office, where I know he, Freddie, and Nic are inside with their breakfast.
For the past three days, while I've been going through the motions, replaying everything Nicholas said, confusing thoughts have echoed in my head.
I could play meek, my usual move, and hide behind the might of my family's empire.
I could come out swinging, igniting a war of my own.
I could give Victor everything he wants.
Fuck, I could run naked into the woods and never be heard from again if I really desired.
All these choices swarm my mind until it becomes comfortable and easier to just do nothing.
When the fog clouding my decisions clears, I know what it is I have to do.
Something.
I'm not sure how big that something is yet. But I have a good idea of where it could start.
I puff a breath into my cheeks and raise my fist to knock when I hear Freddie speak, and decide to eavesdrop for a while longer, instead.
"She make a decision yet?" Freddie asks.
"You'll know as soon as I do," Anton replies.
The sound of cutlery smashes against ceramics. "You already know what she's going to do."
"There's no way to know for sure what she'll do."
Nicholas huffs, the sound anything but amused. "Then you don't know her very well."
There's a pointed silence in which I imagine that Nic has managed to either stun them or earn himself a death glare.
Of course, it's dead silent, so my blood sugar monitor chooses now to beep like its being robbed from a department store.
"Shit, shit, shit," I chant under my breath, fumbling the device in my hand in my haste to shut it the fuck up. The door swings open with a force that blows air up into my face, fanning out my hair. Wide-eyed, I come face to face with a scowling Nic.
"Figures," he scoffs and then holds the door open, motioning for me to step inside.
I square my shoulders. "I was going to knock."
Nic takes his seat again. Following, I head over to the couches and take the space on the lounge next to Anton, sinking deep into the cushions.
I sit quietly with my hands in my lap, wondering how, exactly, I'm going to drop the bombshell of my decision on my family. When I look up, I notice that while their plates are still half-full, no one has resumed eating.
Great. They're expecting it.
I have to say something.
I clear my throat. "I - uhh - I've come to a decision."
Nic's nostrils flare. The only external sign that gives away his disapproval. I gather my inner strength and turn to look my uncle dead in the eye. "I want to say yes to Victor Rushkoff."
I don't break under Anton's heated stare or from the other one that I can feel burning the side of my face. I'm convicted and condemned to this choice and I'm going down swinging. Lucky for me, Anton breaks our stare first.
I let out a breath and dart my eyes to Freddie's, gauging his reaction. He gives me a proud half smirk and I smile back.
Anton's approval is the only one that matters, though. After an eternity, he says, "Okay."
The ensuing silence holds the pressure of an impending eruption.
"Fucking Christ! You can't be serious!" Nic jumps from his seat.
There it is.
"I swear to fuck, Anton, if you don't-"
"If I don't what, Nicholas?!" Anton seethes. "Sit the fuck down."
Nic's fists clench and unclench at his sides, but he does as he's told, slowly sinking back into the chair.
"I want to bring him here," I whisper. The tension in the room melts as they turn my way. "I-I know that's not typical. But, I want him to come here. If he wants to get to know me," I square my shoulders, "he can do it here."
A relieved smile spreads over Anton's face. I suppose he's been preparing for this inevitable choice ever since he gave me that document. I can't bring myself to look at Nicholas.
"Alright... Sage will say yes and we'll bring the Rushkoff boy here, where we can keep an eye on him. It's clever."
Pride fills me at that.
Nicholas leans forward to grip the arms of his chair. "Victor Rushkoff never goes anywhere without Alexei Rushkoff." He pins Anton in his sights. "And Alexei Rushkoff is a fucking psychopath."
"So I've heard," Anton says, and to his credit, he sounds nervous.
"We're out of options, Nic. I don't like this anymore than you do, but bringing the Rushkoffs to us gives us an advantage.
And we desperately need an advantage right now.
" Anton nods to Nic and I roll my eyes as I realize there's yet another hidden meaning beneath their conversation that I don't understand.
"I won't step out of her sight for even a minute," Nic promises, like I'm not even in the room to hear him. "I don't trust them. You bring them here I'm right on her ass 24/7."
"She's going to hate you for that," Anton says, side-eyeing me but playing along with Nic's charade to pretend I can't hear him.
"She hates me already."
"That's not true," I whisper.
Nic says nothing. The silence halts me, and I wonder if maybe he doesn't realize just how much I could never hate him.
"Sage?" Uncle Anton's voice comes to me. "You want to meet Victor?"
"I want to see what he's like. What this is all about. But I don't want to do it somewhere I don't know. So... tell him yes, and we'll go from there."
Anton nods again like it's perfectly understandable, though he doesn't look completely happy with the idea either. "Then we'll make it happen." Of course, Anton knows something the rest of them don't.
Whatever emotion was driving Nic is wiped from his face. He's composed now, sitting up straight and staring off into the distance like he's a shadow that's meant to blend into the walls.
"They won't want to wait," Nic finally says as he clears his throat.
"I know," Anton says gravely. "If I make the proposition," he checks his watch, "this afternoon. They'll be here within days."
Days.
Damn.
"You good, Sage?" Anton eyes me in concern and I'm sure I've gone white.
"Fine."
In my head, I'm playing with words like Mrs. Rushkoff. Sage DeMarco-Rushkoff. Mrs. Victor Rushkoff. Victor and Sage Rushkoff. I'm not sure if that sick feeling in my stomach is nerves or low blood sugar.
At least this should be interesting. I've never been the best judge of character.
"Just tell Victor I say yes."