Chapter 21
Chapter
Twenty-One
Sage
You wouldn't think there'd be a positive to being attacked and hunted in the middle of the night.
Alas, I seem to have found it. I can safely wander around my own God damn home without Nic shadowing me.
They must have decided the Rushkoffs are trustworthy after all.
At least trustworthy enough to not kidnap or murder me in broad daylight.
The downside to that is that Nic is nowhere to be seen. No longer does he stand stoically watching me from the corner of every room I'm in.
I sigh as I stand in front of my floor-length mirror, brushing out my bed hair.
As I dress for the day, I check my CGM for any issues.
Watching myself in the mirror from over a shoulder, I run my hands over the scars on my body, lifting my shirt to see the scars that run right across my back.
Still there. Still raised. Even after what feels like a lifetime.
They cover a significant portion of my lower back and stomach, but I've become good at hiding them. There are enough garments in my wardrobe now that I can dress to show skin without ever showing my scars.
You'd never even know they were there if you hadn't seen them before.
I tug my shirt down and smooth out my hair one final time before leaving my room for the day.
On my second pass of the ground floor I conclude that Nicholas must be holed up in Anton's office with the rest of them.
As I head up the stairs, I pause, listening to the sounds that pass through the office door.
The sounds are jovial. Bursts of male laughter drift through the door, getting louder the closer I get.
When I'm directly in front of the office, my hand involuntarily presses against the door, as if I can somehow be a part of the fun if just through touch.
I let my fingers skim along the door as I leave them be.
The air is fresh and crisp when I step out onto the second-floor balcony. The one that overlooks the pool and has the best view of the edges of the property. I've mapped many an escape route from this position before.
My smile overtakes me as I lean up against the railing and look out onto the property. On my right is the rose garden; the first place Nic kissed me in secret. The first time he gave me that horrified 'just kicked a kitten' look.
There's the fountain far off on the left. Where Freddie used to play water games with me in the summer. When he taught me to shoot water pistols like they were real weapons. Where he, Anton and Dad used to gang up on me, but always end up falling to their water-pistol deaths against me.
I think they let me win.
I watch the spaces nostalgically, able to see the shadows of memories play out like ghosts.
Idly, I wonder where I'd be if the things that happened to me when I was nine, just never happened.
Would I have been less sheltered? Would I know what it feels like to have friends that don't work for my father?
To have people whose allegiance is solely for me and not because of my family?
My eyes drift directly downward towards the pool. The sight there is new.
Alexei and Isla sit side by side at the pool's edge. Neither touching, but looking totally relaxed in one another's company.
They seem too intimate to not be together, but I haven't seen them constantly touching like they can't keep their hands off each other. And while he says he loves her, I can't see Alexei look at her like the galaxy exists only to sustain his love for her.
I wonder if it's friendship that I'm witnessing, unable to recognize it for the fact that I have nothing to compare it to.
A longing opens up in my chest. There is a hole in my heart that misses that.
Mourns for something I've never had. I've never had a girlfriend to tell my secrets to.
To share in hers. To laugh together at all the silly things we do.
Though I've fucked many men, I've never had anyone to tell.
And somehow I suspect gossiping about it might be part of the fun.
"Sage."
I turn around at the voice, ripped away from my melancholic thoughts. "Uncle Anton."
Anton watches me from the doorway with his hands resting in the pockets of his suit pants. He never started dressing in full suits, like a leader, until after my father's demise. It never looks right on him.
Anton slides up against the railing with me. His eyes fall to the pool, where mine had been only seconds earlier. "Isla. Alexei was quite insistent on seeing her," Anton says, side-eyeing me for my reaction.
I sigh, resting my hand on my chin as I continue to watch them, though they haven't spotted they have an audience. I drum my fingers over my chin.
"Do you think we'll ever find out what happened to Dad?"
Anton chuckles and leans against the railing with me, his shoulder drooping. "I don't know."
"I don't like that answer." My lips purse as my eyes tighten.
Anton turns serious eyes onto mine, leveling me with a warning. I roll my eyes when I realize what he's going to say before he's even said it. "You promised me you weren't going to pursue this anymore."
I turn my head so that he can't see the guilty answer written all over my face.
"Sage," Anton says, hand reaching to run through his hair before he stops himself. Seeming to remember not to mess with his put together appearance. "I'm serious. I told you I would handle it and I am."
"By missing payments?" I turn my sharp glare on him.
"What are you talk-" he says, rearing back before he stops and stutters, his eyes widening as he drops his voice to a whisper. "Fuck - tell me you did not go to see Angie."
"I did not go to see Angie."
Anton glares. "Now say it without lying."
I tip my chin up in defiance.
"Sage. You have got to trust me here."
I throw my head back and huff an annoyed breath. "I'm sorry. You know I trust you. I just can't sit around and do nothing."
Anton scratches at his chin, not looking at me, but down to Isla and Alexei as he speaks. "Whatever is going on, in spite of what happened last week, you know those brothers are at the center of it. Even if they're not the cause of it."
"I know," I say, worrying my lip. "When I marry Victor, though, imagine what I can learn when I'm actually there. In their territory."
Anton pinches the bridge of his nose. "Jesus, you're not an infiltrate. I want your father's... killer caught. The second you marry Victor, the perpetrators lose. And you don't flush out players that think they've lost. Only the ones that still think they have a chance to win."
I pause, biting the inside of my cheek as I try to come up with a decent argument against that very excellent retort.
"Though Victor is pretty intent on rushing things along," Anton says, shaking his head, losing his own train of thought and saving me from a reply.
My eyes drift to the insanely large ring on my finger. "I noticed."
"On that note," Anton says. "We're throwing an engagement party for the two of you this weekend. Here."
I jerk my head towards him, mouth dropping open. "What? Why?"
"Victor needed some kind of event, now that we're wedding planning. It was an engagement party or the wedding itself. I'm stalling as much as I can."
I go to open my mouth to yell at him, but I stop myself, frowning as I process his words.
"You're trying to stall? Why? Wasn't I clear about my decision?
To both you and Victor?" I swallow as I say the words, and Anton doesn't miss it, his eyes following the curve of my throat as the lump passes across it.
He seems to read the thoughts on my face. "Victor doesn't seem... unreasonable," Anton says, grimacing. "I could work something out."
I scoff, biting at my lip a little harder, and just now noticing I've been fidgeting with this ridiculous ring on my finger. I twirl it around my finger a few more times for good measure.
"I can't risk it." But I want to. I want to risk it. I want to risk it so fucking badly. I can't let Anton give me hope. "Besides, you know that's a lie. Victor is not reasonable."
Anton smiles. "Well, yes. Victor is a man who gets what he wants. Doesn't mean he gets you."
"Maybe." I do my best to smile but I'm sure I haven't done a very good job. With little else to say I find myself eyeing Isla and Alexei again. They're laughing like old friends again, but still never touching. I'm not sure why I keep seeking them out to watch them interact.
"I will get rid of her if you want," Anton smirks.
"Isla?" I shake my head, even though I do kind of consider it. She's beautiful and threatening and... I'm all out of excuses. "No. No, she's fine."
"You're watching her like a predator," Anton smiles.
"You sound proud."
"I am."
I burst out into a laugh. He's such a fucking weirdo. We smile at each other and I watch Anton's eyes soften like he's reveling in a sight he hasn't seen in a long time. When was the last time I smiled and meant it?
"You don't have to get rid of her," I say as my smile fades.
Anton nods. "Just say the word."
Without saying another word or even bothering to look at me Anton strides away with his hands clasped behind his back.
When I look back to the pool to continue my viewing, gray eyes stare back at me. Alexei watches me now too, his eyes latching onto mine and giving my body a visceral jolt.
Things have been stupid weird between us since the night of the break in. We'd reached a healthy level of mutual disrespect and now our dynamic has been flipped on its head. Things between us seem calmer on the outside, but more chaotic than ever inside my head.
Alexei says something to Isla and then gets up like he's coming right for me. But that's stupid because I'm on the balcony and he's two levels below me. There's no way- Uhhh....? Oh!
Shit. Is that possible?
Alexei, like a fucking terminator, jumps and grabs onto a drainpipe, which he then proceeds to scale. When he reaches balcony-height, he leaps from the drainpipe onto the side of the balcony, gripping the railing as he hauls himself over to stand right in front of me.
With my hand clutched to my chest in a very 'oh my stars' kind of way, I chance a look at Isla. She has an amused smile on her face as she walks away.
"Isla thinks you don't like her," Alexei says, thumbing his lip before he folds his arms. "You being vicious again, princess?"
"What? No. I'm... I'm nice."
Alexei smiles and shakes his head. "You gonna put that back on the right finger?" He gestures to where I've fidgeted my engagement ring onto the wrong finger.
Sheepishly, I put it back on the right finger. Alexei narrows his eyes as I do, glaring at the piece of jewelry like it's personally offended him.
"So," Alexei says as he folds his arms. His black shirt tightens over his muscles and I have to force myself not to follow the movement. He's still the stormy gray-eyed devil I saw when he arrived. I must muster contempt back or I will lose control of everything.
You hate this man. Fucking act like it.
"You gonna give Isla a chance?"
I curl my lip. "Who says I'm not?"
"Ah, so you are being vicious again," Alexei smiles cruelly, one that turns into pure competitive joy when my lips turn up in a smile and I have to bite my cheek to stop it.
I roll my head and stomp my foot. "Fuck," I say. "Who gives a shit if I give Isla a chance?"
"I do." He pauses, face twisting as if the next words are physically hard to get out. "She really wants to be your friend for some dumbass reason."
I frown as I watch him warily, my mind on the hunt for ulterior motives. Is this a future sister-in-law thing? Wants to be besties with the girl who's gonna marry her boyfriend's brother?
"Why?" I say, slowly enunciating each letter.
"Fuck if I know," Alexei smirks.
I purse my lips as I smile. With an aggrieved, childlike sigh, I straighten my shoulders. "Well, what's in it for me, then?"
He raises a brow at me in an incredulous look. "Besides the obvious?" He shoots a pointed look towards Anton's office where more sounds of male camaraderie burst free. As if he knows what it is I long for. "All you gotta do is let her be your friend for the short while we're still here, alright?"
I wipe the sad look off my face before I face him. "You forget when you and Victor leave here. So do I."
"Not necessarily," he says, almost in warning.
It's my turn to return his incredulous look.
"Let me make something clear. I don't want you marrying my brother."
"Yes. Thank you Captain Obvious." I roll my eyes. "I mean, how could I guess? You were being so subtle about it."
Alexei's jaw tenses but he shakes away the look. "And you definitely don't want to marry my brother."
"You heard me just now?" I wince.
"No, Lieutenant Obvious," I don't miss that he's promoted me above him in the obvious-ness department, "you've been so careful with the Prince boy."
"You're the worst." I blow out a breath. "Fine. I'll stop being vicious if you stop being a psycho."
"Can't make too heavy a promise," he replies in a grumble.
"Shake on it." I raise my chin and stick out my hand.
Alexei shakes his head, regarding me like a petulant child before he grips my hand in his own.
And fuck. What a mistake that is.
The chemistry of touching him is like an explosion. Just the small parts where his warm hand connects around mine feel blistered and burnt.
He squeezes his hand, and it's as if he's squeezed my breasts instead. He's close now, and smells like geranium and spirits. I have this revolting urge to sniff him.
Holy shit. Shit. I need to let go. I need to let his hand go right now before-
He tugs me forward slightly by our conjoined hands. His face is now inches from mine, his lips rough and his mouth open. "Vicious little princess."
"Psychotic Rushkoff," I breathe directly into his face.
His hand remains clasped around mine, and my eyes drop to his rough lips again.
He rips his hand from mine with a hiss, stepping back like he's been electrocuted. I have a feeling he's done us both a favor by being strong enough to pull back.
He winces, like he was thinking the same thing, and then walks away.
He's almost gone when he stops, pausing as if he's about to say something. His fists clench at his sides, but he does walk away. Which is probably for the best.
Fuck.