Chapter 4 – Sydney
SYDNEY
In no time at all, Jade has trained our newest part-time employee on how to use her fancy—and shockingly expensive—espresso machine.
We take turns taste-testing his creations until we’re both satisfied he can properly recreate our café menu.
If I’m being honest, he might even be better at making some of our drinks than I am.
“I worked for a little as a barista during undergrad,” Justin explains when I tell him as much. “It’s not like I’m a coffee prodigy or anything.”
“You worked at a chain coffee place,” Jade accuses, mouth twisting with distaste. “Hardly up to our standards.”
Still, she gives an appreciative “hm” when she takes a sip from his flat white, before declaring it acceptable. My own flat white, I’m reminded, once earned a half-hearted “well you tried,” and a pat on the head.
When the morning rush starts, I leave him to shadow Jade at the café and get to work replenishing our Book Boutique and Bakery end caps.
An unexpected benefit of the spike in new business and online awareness has been a surge in our merchandise sales.
Suddenly, Book Boutique and Bakery tote bags and T-shirts are all the rage with local bibliophiles.
Which means I’m constantly restocking our supply. Not that I mind. I settle myself on the floor next to the display, open a new box of shirts, and get to work.
See? I can do this. I can live my life without him. Without them.
I don’t need a tall, dark, and handsome man to whisper filthy words in my ear. I don’t need Alec’s calm, sultry stare, the way he could mentally undress me with a single look. Or his hand around my throat, the flash of something wild in his eyes as he held me down.
I don’t need Ashton, don’t even remember what it was like to have him groan against my skin as his tongue circled my clit. I’ve forgotten it! Forgotten all about the feel of Sebastian’s fingers between my legs. And Viper, holding a knife to my neck, the point sharp, dangerous…
“Uh, Syd?”
Justin’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts, and I realize I’m crouched before the still empty display, a shirt clutched so tight in my hands that I’ve twisted it beyond recognition.
“Hey, brat,” I greet him, voice dripping with feigned positivity, as I hastily shove the shirt into a box, hiding it. I don’t need to unfold it to know it’s likely ruined. “How’s training going?”
He tips his head back and groans. “Horrible. She’s a tyrant. Possibly a sadist. But at least I’ve passed all her tests for now.” Justin motions to the boxes of merchandise around me. “You need any help with this?”
I hand him a stack of T-shirts and watch enviously as he easily reaches to place them on the top shelf. As he stretches, his shirt rises just enough to show off an unexpected set of abs, and I quickly look away.
“Do you mind if I ask you something?” Justin asks after a few minutes of quiet restocking.
With him handling the upper shelves, and me stocking the lower, we’re making quick progress.
I never realized how much time I wasted having to carry my stepladder around the store, constantly climbing up and down to reach the higher shelves.
“Yeah, sure,” I answer, focused on folding. There’s a trick to getting the shirts to lay just right, so the logo shows best, but they still lay flat. I wrinkle my nose in concentration, trying to get it perfect.
When I glance up at him, Justin is staring down at me, looking concerned. “Are you okay?” I frown, brows drawing together, and he quickly adds, “I just mean you seem pretty down. Different from the last time I saw you.”
That’s the understatement of the year.
“Is it Chase?” he asks. “You don’t have to go into it if you don’t want to, but Jade mentioned to me that the two of you split up during one of our phone calls a couple months back.”
Jesus. Chase. I almost forgot about my ex-boyfriend in all of this. I wonder if he’s still at the hospital after what Ashton did to him. I shift uncomfortably, fidgeting with the shirt I’m folding.
“If it’s any consolation, the guy was a total tool,” Justin tells me.
My lips twitch into a smile. “You didn’t like him either?” I ask, lifting my gaze to him.
“Hated him, more like.” Justin mutters the words, almost too low for me to hear. Then he adds, “I just knew you could do better.”
“Thanks,” I tell him. “And I’m okay. I wasn’t thinking about him anyway. It’s actually… Well, I was dating someone else. After Chase.”
Multiple someones.
“Was dating?” Justin asks, quirking an eyebrow as he glances down at me.
“It’s complicated. I broke it off, just recently.” I trail off, not sure what else to say. Then, clearing my throat, “So, you want to tell me why you dropped out? I thought you were enjoying studying…” My brain fizzles out. “Computers?” I guess.
Justin laughs. “Computer science,” he corrects, in a patient voice that tells me he’s had to explain it before. “With a focus on cybersecurity.”
“Right.” I nod, handing him another stack of shirts. “That. You seemed like you liked your program.”
“I did. I really did.” Justin lets out a long, sad breath. “Promise you won’t tell Jade?”
I mime locking my lips with a key and tossing it over my shoulder.
He chuckles but runs a self-conscious hand through his hair. “I didn’t really drop out. I was sort of kicked out of the program.”
I reel back in surprise. Justin? Golden boy Justin, who never broke a single rule when we were kids? “Kicked out for what?” I ask.
He stretches up to add the stack of shirts to the display. “Harassing another student. And… assault.”
“Assault?” I repeat, shocked. Justin is the least aggressive person I know. He was the sort of kid who caught bugs under a glass and insisted on releasing them back outside. “What do you mean assault? What happened?”
Justin refuses to look at me as he fiddles with the merchandise. “It’s a long story. There was this girl. And we were friendly, but not like…friends, you know? Then last semester—”
Jade’s voice from the front cuts him off. “Hey, trainee!” she shouts. “I need you up here for garbage duty!”
Justin groans and lets his arms drop to his side. “Sorry. Duty calls. You can finish these on your own?” He waves his hand at the stack of shirts and totes that still need shelving.
I nod, distracted. As he heads back up to the front of the store, hands shoved in his pockets, I watch him, frowning.
Justin has always been the good kid. Always playing by the rules. He was the one who broke up fights, who tattled whenever Jade or I misbehaved.
He would never harass another student. He would never hurt a woman.
Right?
Hours later, I’m still bothered by the idea that this boy I grew up with might have become a man capable of things I never imagined.
But I never suspected Chase could be the man he turned out to be, did I? I didn’t see the signs until it was too late, until I was already caught in his snare.
Monsters hide among us, wearing the most pleasant faces.
I wonder if Jade has the scoop about him leaving grad school yet. I wait until there’s a lull in the café traffic before I head over to ask her.
“Weird question, but did your brother ever mention a girl? At school?” I ask her, leaning over the counter.
Jade glances up at me from where she’s squatting on the ground, restocking the bakery case. “Sydney, I say this with all the love in the world: Please do not try to date my brother.”
I let out a shocked laugh. “What? No! I’m not trying to—”
“I know he had a crush on you when we were kids,” Jade interrupts. “And your children would be so cute, I would just die. But it would be like you’re dating the male version of me, and that’s just weird. I won’t allow it.”
I shake my head, still laughing. “You’re insane, you know that? He never had a crush on me. Where are you even getting that?”
“Oh, please, he’s liked you since high school. Even earlier, maybe,” Jade insists. “I’m just saying, as much as I’d love to call you my sister, if you ended up dating him and you somehow loved him more than me? I just don’t think I could handle that. That would destroy me.”
“I could never love anyone more than you,” I promise.
“Good,” Jade says, standing up and pulling off her food-safe gloves. “Plus, the last thing you need right now is a rebound. Been there, done that. No, this time you’re going to focus on you. I call it… Operation Sydney.”
I quirk an eyebrow. “Operation Sydney, huh?”
“Correct. Instead of sitting around moping about assholes, you and I are going to try something new. Take some classes, learn a new hobby—”
“With what free time?” I ask. “We’re always here.”
“And now we have an employee!” Jade reasons. “One we can trust to handle running the store on his own for a few hours!”
The moment she says this, there’s a loud crash from the back, and we both hear Justin swear.
I give Jade a deadpan look.
“I’m sure he’s fine.” Jade waves a hand in the air dismissively. “The point is all you’ve done lately is work. You need a break.”
“Fine,” I relent. “But let’s start off with something light, okay? I don’t think either of us should be learning beekeeping, or anything like that.”
“You have no evidence I wouldn’t be a fantastic beekeeper.”
“You’re allergic to bees,” I remind her.
“And I just think if we’re doing this, we might want to start with something a little less likely to end with us going to the hospital.
” I chew my lip, considering our options.
“Maybe ceramics? We took that ceramics class in middle school, remember? That could be—”
I freeze, eyes on a figure moving through the crowds outside. It’s just a brief flash, barely enough to recognize the person weaving their way down the sidewalk. Barely enough to register the familiar sandy brown hair and tan skin.
Chase.
“Sydney?” Jade asks. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I lie. The figure is already gone, out of sight. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
It wasn’t him. Jade is talking, scrolling through her phone and already making a list of projects for Operation Sydney, but I’m having trouble listening.
It wasn’t him, I tell myself, willing myself to believe it.