Chapter 6 – Sydney
SYDNEY
Nine days.
It takes only nine days of nonstop texting and gifts before Ashton shows up at the bookshop in person. Honestly, I should have seen it coming. It’s not like he was going to stay away forever.
I’m in the back of the store, finishing up with a customer, when I hear his voice carry across the shop, tugging at my heart and almost making me drop the stack of books I’m holding.
Shut the fuck up, heart, you dumb bitch. Get it together.
“Hey, Jade!” Ashton sounds like his usual happy, overly enthusiastic self. “How is this beautiful day treating you?”
“Oh, it’s you. Great,” Jade answers, voice so thick with sarcasm it’s practically dripping. “I’m super. You know, I was just reading a Scientific America piece all about space. I don’t think I can get enough of space. Isn’t space just lovely?”
I sigh, placing the books down and closing up the register before heading over to save them from each other.
“Sure, I guess,” Ashton answers nonchalantly, Jade’s jab going completely over his head. “That stuff is more Doc’s scene, you know? He loves nerdy shit like that.”
I arrive just in time to see one of Jade’s trademark eyerolls. Really, it’s an art form the way she does it. An art form totally lost on Ashton, who’s leaning casually against the bakery case, eyes sweeping the café, looking from person to person.
Searching for me.
The effect of seeing him is instantaneous. He’s breathtaking, mouth-wateringly attractive. I want to reach out and touch him, want to run my hands over those huge arms and chest. I want to kiss him, want to let him kiss me. Ashton has the sweetest kisses, so soft and slow and patient.
It’s completely unfair that he’s this goddamn attractive. I cross my arms, locking my hands under my elbow, and keeping my distance so there’s no way I can give in to my urges and let him sweep me up and off my feet.
When Ashton spots me, his entire face lights up, his blue eyes sparkling.
“Hey, Babygirl!” His bright smile stretches from ear to ear, and he rocks forward like he can’t stop himself from trying to get closer. “Look at you. You look stunning today. Did you know that?”
His eyes trail over me, heating as he takes me in.
I suppress my own eyeroll now, hating that even though his lines are so corny, I can tell he means them. He’s just so sincere. Here I am wearing a simple gray T-shirt and jeans, and Ash somehow makes me feel like I’m in lingerie. I tighten my grip on myself.
“What are you doing here, Ash?” I ask, not bothering to keep the anger out of my voice.
His smile drops a fraction as he catches the tone.
“I thought you might want to go get some lunch,” he explains, taking a step toward me. “You’ve got to eat, right? I could… I could go get us something and bring it back here for you. You wouldn’t even have to leave.”
He’s so eager, watching me closely, with hope in his eyes. His fingers tap almost rhythmically against his thigh, like he’s nervous.
“Gee, I don’t know if she has the time,” Jade starts, ready to launch into another tirade that he’s sure not to get. I shoot her a glare, and she returns it, just as grumpy as I am. But at least she stops.
Sighing, I motion for Ashton to follow me, leading him further back into the shop and toward the back register, where there are fewer people. There’s no reason for the entire café to hear this, after all.
Ash follows behind me, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet, rubbing his hands together in excitement.
I bring him nearly to the stockroom before I turn to him, taking a deep breath to center myself.
“What are you doing here?” I demand again.
“I told you, I thought we could get some lunch, spend some time together.” He grins at me, but it’s muted now. “I’ve missed you. So fucking much, Babygirl.”
“Ashton. I don’t need lunch,” I say, my frustration seeping through, coloring my tone. “And I didn’t ask you to come here.”
“Right.” His smile fades a little more. “You probably already ate, huh? Yeah, I uh… I should have figured, right? But that’s cool. Maybe I could bring you something tomorrow? What can I bring?”
God, he looks so lost, so eager to please. I feel like I’m kicking a puppy.
“Ash...” I let out a long breath. “This isn’t… I told you to leave me alone. I need space right now. You’re not… You’re not giving me any. Between this, your texts, and the gifts…”
“Sorry.” He gives me an aw shucks smile and shrugs. “Not really great at the whole giving you space thing, huh?”
“It’s not just that.” I sigh, tapping my foot. “Did you hire a social media team for my business? For my shop?”
“Oh!” He laughs, running a hand through his hair sheepishly. “That. That was no problem. Our company has a whole social media division. They handle all my accounts, too, get buzz for my fights and everything. We figured, hey, what’s one more account for them, right?”
I shake my head, jaw tight.
“But you didn’t ask me,” I insist, wishing he would get it. “You just went ahead and did it. Behind my back. You do these things behind my back, without consulting me.”
Ashton flinches. “No, not behind your back,” he insists. “We just figured you do so much already. And this wasn’t a big deal, it took like two phone calls, max.”
“That’s not the point,” I snap. “The point is, you did it without checking with me first. You paid who knows how much money without asking me—”
“Oh, trust me,” he interrupts with a laugh. “They get paid, like, peanuts. They’re mostly interns. It’s a joke how little we pay them.”
“That’s also not the point.” I put my head in my hands, feeling like I’m going to scream.
Think calm, happy thoughts.
By the time I calm down enough to peel my hands away from my face, it looks like Ash is finally getting it.
“You’re still… You’re still this mad?” he asks, sounding hurt. Which only infuriates me more. He thought I would get over Alec having a wife? Him taking it upon himself to beat the shit out of Chase? In only nine days?
“Yes!” I half-yell. But mad isn’t even the right word.
It’s more than that. I can’t seem to articulate how I’m feeling, the disappointment, the anger, the betrayal.
“You guys don’t listen to anything I say!
You just do whatever you want without any regard to how it will affect my life.
Did you ever think what it could do to my business to be embroiled with you all?
I don’t even understand what your company does, because you tell me nothing, but I know enough to know it comes with heavy baggage that I don’t need. ”
“Oh,” Ashton says. He stares at the ground, frowning.
“You need to ask me about these things,” I tell him. “And you need to ask me before you just show up here. I’m at work, Ash. This isn’t a game to me. This is my life.”
His shoulders slump. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “Yeah, I’m sorry, I, uh… This was a bad idea, wasn’t it? Showing up here. I thought…” He laughs, and it’s a hollow, broken sound. “I guess it doesn’t matter what I thought.”
I clench my hands at my side, fighting the urge to reach out and comfort him.
A part of me wants to hug him. I want to bury my face in his neck and smell him.
Let him buy me Mexican food and tell me I’m perfect.
But then I remember how he put my ex in the hospital, like it was nothing.
I remember all the lies, I remember how cozy he looked with Alec’s wife in that photo.
And all the jealousy and rage bubbles back to the surface.
I’ll never again apologize for a mess I didn’t create.
“You should go,” I say, the words coming out harsher than I expect. “And no more flowers or gifts. Please. Just go and give me the time I asked for, okay?”
Ash nods slowly.
I can’t bring myself to watch him leave. I stand there, arms wrapped around myself for a few seconds, cycling through my therapy mantras, until I finally feel calm enough to make my way back up to the front.
The shop door opens as soon as I reach the café, and for a brief second, I think it might be Ash again, coming back and ignoring everything I just told him.
It isn’t.
“Did you guys see who that was?” Justin asks, coming through the door and letting it swing shut behind him.
He looks between the two of us excitedly.
“That was Ashton ‘The KO King’ Sterling! You know, the MMA fighter?” He shakes his head in disbelief.
“I can’t believe it. You know I watched his debut professional fight here?
And it was—why are you mouthing shut up at me? ”
“The fact that you don’t understand the implication of mouthing something is astounding,” Jade snaps at him. “How are you the smart one?”
“That was my ex,” I explain, trying to end the sibling squabble before it starts. I lift one shoulder in a shrug.
“That? That’s the guy you dated after Chase?” Justin asks me, pointing out the door. “You’re telling me that’s the guy that you dumped?”
I narrow my eyes at him, setting my hands on my hips. “And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Justin cringes. “Sorry, that came out wrong. I just meant… He’s a big step up from your last boyfriend.”
“That he is,” Jade agrees. “You should see her other boyfriends. They’re almost as pretty as that one.”
Justin's face freezes, recalibrates. “Her other boyfriends?” he repeats slowly.
“Hey!” Jade points an accusing finger at him. “We do not slut shame in this store. That’s my number one rule!”
“Don’t—” He sputters, motioning toward me. “Don’t call your best friend a slut!”
“Why not?” Jade asks. “There’s nothing wrong with being a slut. Some of the best people I know are sluts.”
“You’re infuriating,” Justin insists. “I forgot how infuriating you can be.”
Jade snorts a laugh. “Whatever, brat. You’re late, by the way.”
He looks down at his watch. “It’s noon. You told me my shift starts at noon.”
“And on time is late. Early is on time. We grew up with the same parents, but it’s like you learned nothing,” Jade says. She nods toward the café trash. “You’re on trash duty until further notice.”
“You’re a dictator, you know that?” Justin mutters. But he moves toward the trash, gathering it up to take it out.
“I am,” Jade agrees. “And don’t you forget it.”