Chapter 8 – Sydney #2
Seamus is synonymous with the Twin Pines, as far as Jade and I are concerned.
He’s been here nearly every single time we’ve come, and there’s no quicker way to get to know someone than being four drinks deep every time you chat with them.
You can thank my love of martinis for why I know that he moved here in his twenties to pursue music.
Even ten years later, he still plays local shows on occasion, but he never saw any kind of real success with it.
Still, he always seems genuinely happy. Affable.
Far from his family and working in a job he didn’t dream of doing, he’s a consummate ray of sunshine.
It doesn’t hurt that his good looks and accent are enough to turn even the most miserly bar patron into a big tipper.
I give him a small wave and slide onto a barstool, the reality of my situation sinking in. How much do I tell her? How much detail do I go into?
How do you even start a conversation like this?
“We’re going to need the absolute filthiest gin martinis you can conceive of, and we’ll need you to keep them coming,” I tell Seamus, a forced smile on my face.
“Sure thing,” he responds. He wastes no time getting down to business, pulling down a bottle of gin, and focusing on our drinks.
I squirm on the barstool, trying to get comfortable. Jade is quiet until Seamus returns. He sets our drinks in front of us on the bar and immediately steps away to give us space.
“Syd, you’re making me nervous,” Jade finally says. “I think this is the longest we’ve ever gone without yapping.”
“He hurt me,” I blurt out.
Jade goes stiff on her seat.
I can’t meet her eyes when I say it, so I talk to my martini instead.
“Yeah, emotionally. You know that part, already, I guess. He was awful. But there was more. I thought I was hiding it so well, thought I was keeping it together, but of course you noticed. I should have known you’d figure it out. ”
“You’re babbling,” Jade whispers, putting her hand over mine to keep me from fidgeting. “Take a breath and slow down. What do you mean he hurt you?”
I take a few deep breaths before continuing.
Calm, I tell myself. I am an ocean of calm.
“He would get in these moods. And at first, he would just throw things or punch a wall. Maybe even break something. But then one night, he…he slapped me. And then…it only happened a few times,” I admit.
My voice is so low that I’m not sure she even heard me until I glance over and see her staring at the wall, her eyes unfocused.
“Only?” Jade mutters. “There’s no ‘only,’ Sydney. He hurt you.” I open my mouth to argue, but she just shakes her head. “I can’t believe I didn’t know this. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
She turns and pulls me to her, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug.
She hugs me for all the times I was scared, all alone on the floor of my apartment.
For all the times I had to lock myself in a different room to keep things from escalating.
For all the times I avoided going home, wandering the city, waiting for him to calm down enough that I felt safe going back.
“It’s my fault you didn’t know,” I tell her.
“I was so embarrassed. Things were so normal at first. He made me feel so loved and then… I thought it was my fault. The first time he hit me, it was about something so stupid, I can’t even remember what we were arguing about.
Then he’d apologize, and he was… He would be so sweet for a while. ”
Jade hugs me tighter.
“I really thought I loved him, you know? I did love him, at the start.”
“I know,” Jade murmurs. “But he took that love and he hurt you with it. And that’s not your fault.”
We’re silent for a while as she just holds me, my head on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry I never told you. I knew if I did, it would be real, and I would have to make a decision I wasn’t ready to make.” I pick up my head to look her in the eyes. “I need you to know that it was never about not trusting you.”
Jade gives me a sad smile. “Of course I know that. I just wish I could have done something more.” The smile slips off her face. “God, I could just kill him, Syd. I wanted to kill him before I knew this, and now—”
“There’s more,” I say before I can change my mind.
“You know about him showing up at Katie’s barbecue, but he also came by the shop.
And then to my apartment. He’s been following me, harassing me.
Seb knows, but he doesn’t know the full history of what the relationship was like.
He doesn’t know Chase was ever violent with me.
You’re the only one I’ve told. Now I keep thinking I see him wherever I go, and I don’t know if it’s in my head or not. ”
Panic flares in Jade’s eyes as she listens. “Fuck. Okay. Sweetie, we need to get you out of that apartment. If he’s been harassing you, I don’t think it’s safe for you to be there alone.”
“And where exactly am I supposed to go?” I ask.
“The café is downstairs! It’s not like I can disappear.
He knows I’ll be there. And your couch is occupied now, remember?
” Jade opens her mouth to argue, but I cut her off.
“It’s okay. Seb has been keeping an eye on things.
He knows Chase has been bothering me, and he was going to get a restraining order for me, right?
I guess Ash probably knows, too, now, since he was the one who beat the shit out of him. ”
“I’m sorry, Ash did what?” Jade lets out a startled laugh. “Okay, maybe that guy is growing on me after all.”
“I got the call right after I found out about Alec,” I tell her, fidgeting. “It was all pretty overwhelming.”
“So, Ash beats the shit out of your ex for scaring you right after you find out that your other boyfriend is married, but your other other boyfriend already knew about it,” Jade summarizes, sounding partially impressed, partially shocked.
It doesn’t seem like the right time to bring Viper into the mix, so I let her sit with the redacted story.
“It sounds insane when you phrase it like that,” I mumble.
“Not sounds, Syd. Is. Your life is basically a K-drama, I swear,” she says, chuckling.
I laugh, scrubbing a few errant tears from my face before reaching for my martini.
“I just hate this,” I admit. “I hate how scared Chase makes me feel. I don’t want him to have that sort of power over me. I don’t want to feel this vulnerable anymore.”
“I know,” Jade says softly. Her eyes are red-rimmed, shiny with tears.
“Thanks for listening to me. And I swear this is the last of my hidden confessions.” I sniff. “You’ll always be the love of my life, you know that? No matter what happens. I love you.”
“To the moon and back,” she answers, smiling. “And we’ll figure this out, okay? Together.”
I sigh, slumping in my seat. “I hate to say it, but it was easier when the guys were around. I felt protected. Now that they’re gone?” My words fizzle out, and I shrug.
“I get it. But I’m here, and I’ll support you, no matter what,” Jade insists, smoothing down my hair and leaning in to give me a kiss on the top of my head. “And part of that support means doing the hard thing for you, when you can’t do it yourself.”
“Doing the hard thing, like…?” I trail off, watching as she downs the last of her drink.
“Give me your phone,” Jade demands, holding out her hand. “Now.”
I hesitate. “Who are you going to call?”
“You know who I’m going to call, Syd.” She pins me with a look, hand still outstretched. “You might not be ready to talk to them, but I’m going to do what I can to help keep you safe.”
I know there’s no use fighting her. Sighing, I reach into my bag and pull out my phone, unlocking it before handing it to her.
“Wow, Ashton texts you a lot, huh?” Jade murmurs, frowning down at my notifications. I don’t answer, watching silently as she scrolls through my phone until she finds the contact she’s looking for.
He picks up immediately. Something in my chest tightens when I hear his voice, faint but audible from the speaker of my phone.
“Sydney?” Sebastian asks. The eagerness in his voice catches me by surprise.
Jade makes an incorrect buzzer noise. “Wrong. Guess again.”
There’s a breath of a pause. “Jade,” he states simply. “Is Sydney okay?”
“Sydney’s fine,” Jade says. “Actually, you know what? She’s better than fine. She’s glowing. Better than she’s been in months. Single and ready to mingle!”
I snort into my drink. From across the bar, for the first time since he brought our drinks, Seamus looks over at us with interest.
“And you’re calling me from her phone to tell me this…why, exactly?” Sebastian asks, voice turning cold.
“I’m calling to ask about the restraining order you promised to get for her. Remember that?”
Even over the phone, I can hear Sebastian swear under his breath. “Yes, I remember. Sorry, I’ve been distracted with a work situation. Let her know I’ll have the paperwork finished and ready for her by the end of the week.”
“Good,” Jade says. “Then—”
“Is he there right now?” he interrupts. “Has he been bothering her again?”
Jade looks at me, raising an eyebrow. I quickly shake my head. He hasn’t, not really. I’m still not convinced it was him I saw either time.
“No,” Jade tells him. “We’re just being cautious, that’s all.”
“Call me if he shows up again. With or without the restraining order, I want to know. Do you have my number?” Before she can answer, Sebastian continues, “Hang on, I’m texting it to you now.”
A moment later, Jade’s phone vibrates in her tote bag.
“Wow, that is extra creepy that you know my number,” Jade says. “Stalker much?”
He ignores that. “Call me if he starts bothering her again.” Then a pause. “Be honest with me, how is she doing, really? Is she okay?”
Jade chews her lip, her face tight. She looks at me, and something flickers over her face. “She’s great,” she insists in a too-chipper tone. “And you know what? Her ass has never looked better.”